I've fly-fished for trout in Idaho's famous Silver Creek. I've deep-sea fished on a yacht in Hong Kong Harbor. I've spearfished for cod in Peru. And I've battled gigantic marlin off Florida's Gold Coast.
However, my favorite fishing memories are those days of being a kid sitting on a dock with nothing but a plastic fishing rod and an empty coffee can filled with worms.
As a young boy, I spent virtually all my summers at a beautiful camp in Maine located on the Saco River. For two whole months, I'd ride horses, canoe in British Columbia, climb Mt. Washington, kayak in Lovell Pond and camp out at Sebago Lake. It was during those amazing summers that I first developed my love for fishing.
Being single in Manhattan during my late 20's put fishing on hold for quite some time. It really came down to making choices. Should I go to a friend's new nightclub with a bunch of models or go to bed early so I can wake up at 4:00 am and go fishing? Spend a week in the Caribbean golfing with buddies or freeze to death by myself in Montana? Eat canapes on a terrace in Paris or munch on stale beef jerky and gorp while patching holes in my leaky tent?
You can imagine which decisions I chose.
But recently I've rekindled my love of fishing.
Why? Because my father-in-law LOVES to fish.
As many of you sadly know, BossLady's father was recently diagnosed with inoperable bile duct cancer and has been given only 3-6 months to live. Ever since we heard the devastating news, we've been flying out to Texas practically every weekend to not only spend time with him but also to create new memories for all of us. Particularly the Peanut.
My FIL has worked six days a week for his entire life The only time he ever took a vacation was to spend time with family or go on a church convention. He's a noble man who truly believes that idle hands are the devil's tools. In fact, before we sent him and his wife to Italy this year as a 50th wedding anniversary present, he hadn't been on a vacation or left the country in over twenty-five years!
In one of life's ironic twists, my father-in-law's cancer has sadly given him time to do the things that are purely for his sole enjoyment. And, more than anything else, he enjoys spending his remaining time on the planet fishing.
So every weekend, we rent this awesome pontoon boat and go fishing together. My FIL spends days setting up our fishing gear; my MIL and the Peanut prepare the food; BossLady and I are in charge of stocking up on live bait, lures, and beef jerky at the local Wal-Mart.
It's been great spending all this time together fishing as a family. I love seeing my FIL so energized and focused on catching fish. I love watching BossLady lay out on the boat as she works on her tan. I love watching the Peanut give names to all the fish that we catch ("hello, Marlin! Hi, Nemo!") And personally I love that this opportunity is giving me a chance to rekindle my long-lost love affair with fishing.
This past weekend, we finally got Peanut her own fishing pole. She was so excited that she not only slept with it but she also spent the entire morning practicing her casting in the swimming pool. Now, as any parent will tell you, a great part of the joy in being a parent lies in seeing your child go through new life experiences. You see wonderful things through their eyes and, in the process, you tend to experience life in a completely different way. Moments like that are so life-affirming that it almost makes you forget about all the whining, the tantrums, and the ongoing battle over taking a bath.
Almost.
And while I've always been a believer that ALL kids are cute, I have to say, in all seriousness, have you ever seen anything cuter in your life than my daughter in her fishing gear? Christ, it's like looking at bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow!
I've always believed that life is short so I've tended to take a very carpe diem approach to life. So far, I think I've succeeded. I've traveled to 51 countries all over the world and have experienced so many incredible adventures during the course of my lifetime. However, maybe it's due to my father-in-law's illness or my approaching 40th birthday but lately I've decided to add a few more things to my life list.
To start off, I've decided to start kayaking in the Hudson River every weekend, take cooking classes, and volunteer at a place that tutors adult illiterates.
See, I have this theory that, too frequently, we take the easy way out in life and are content with the daily status quo. And c'mon. Let's face it. We're a lazy nation. As Dennis Miller once said, we're the only nation in the entire world that can cook food in a microwave and yell, "faster! faster!"
But more importantly...what are YOU going to do? Tell me something you've always wanted to do but have continued to put off. It doesn't have to be anything grand. Just tell me something that you've always wanted to do during your lifetime. Now, get off your ass and do it. Put it here in the comments so you can come back and remind yourself of your promise.
Because not only is life short but let's face it, there's nothing on TV these days anyway!
Coachella 2008 was one thing.... I'm working on the rest of the list. There will be tasks involving going very fast while burning petroleum products, among other things. Also, Coachella 2009.
Posted by: JJ Daddy-O | June 17, 2008 at 02:52 PM
I'm 38 and I've always wanted to learn how to surf. Recently I was thinking about this dream and decided to finally do something about it. On Sunday, I leave for a week of surf camp in Mexico!
Posted by: Derek | June 17, 2008 at 02:54 PM
I'm going to dust off my old bicycle and start riding around town again. I haven't ridden one in years but I think it would be a healthy way to burn off my extra pregnancy ass.
Posted by: teresa | June 17, 2008 at 02:55 PM
I've always wanted to go to Italy. I swear here that I'm going to make it happen next year.
Posted by: jessica b | June 17, 2008 at 03:19 PM
You went to Camp Indian Acres? I went to Forest Acres, your sister camp! Of course, I'm much younger than you so we wouldn't have been there at the same time. :)
I miss those camp days. Are you going to the reunion this summer?
Posted by: n.klein | June 17, 2008 at 03:21 PM
Let me start by saying I have never been an athletic person. Thanks to good genetics, I'm in decent shape but I hate to exercise beyond walking the dogs. My goal is to quit saying I'm going to sign up and train for our local half-marathon and just go ahead and do it!
Posted by: June | June 17, 2008 at 03:38 PM
I've always wanted to learn Italian. I guess I better figure out how to do that, without actually moving to Italy.
Posted by: Phoenix | June 17, 2008 at 04:00 PM
Tell you what...a *great* way to get started on those things you want to do is get rid of that TV altogether. I wrote about my experience here.
For what I want to do now...I want to get involved with Kung Fu and have my son train with me too. :-)
Posted by: Chris Blatnick | June 17, 2008 at 04:05 PM
I want to travel around Europe. I'm not even picky on a country. I'm actually taking steps now to do it because LIFE IS SHORT.
Also, where in Texas are you fishing? I am at Medina Lake every weekend, and love it.
Posted by: Amanda | June 17, 2008 at 04:07 PM
We are really focusing on travel. We've cut out cable, new computers, and cell phones to save those $ for the next flight!
Posted by: metro mama | June 17, 2008 at 04:28 PM
I have already wanted to live in France. My number one issue is money. I do not have much. :-(
Posted by: Katherine | June 17, 2008 at 04:38 PM
Finish my doctorate. I've been making excuses for three years why I can't write (most of them have to do with the small children in the house), but it's time to either s*** or get off the pot. I've only got a dissertation to go...
Posted by: Lori | June 17, 2008 at 04:41 PM
Finish grad school, bone up on my french and begin to travel outside the US with my kids. And get a job to pay for the travel.
Posted by: Katy | June 17, 2008 at 04:41 PM
Learn to ride a horse. I actually just emailed the farm today to find out about lessons. I'm turning 30 this year and have wanted to learn since 4h camp in 4th grade...it's pricey but I'm willing to give up a few things and besides, what was I waiting for?
Posted by: Brianna | June 17, 2008 at 04:56 PM
I love the perspective that you have on life, MD. You should be a life coach or something. Despite the fact that life isn't always easy, I'm always uplifted by your positive outlook. Seize the day indeed!
Hope BossLady's father is doing ok. My thoughts and prayers are with him.
Posted by: Estelle | June 17, 2008 at 05:07 PM
I know you know it but the Peanut is ridiculously cute. Every time you post photos of her, I feel my uterus screaming. She must have daddy wrapped around her little finger.
As for something on my list that I've always said I was going to do? Learn to knit. I work as an EMT and I need something to calm me down. I've been saying I'm going to learn for years but I think I'm going to do it right now. Thanks for the inspiration, MD!
Posted by: janelle in cali | June 17, 2008 at 05:15 PM
Yo, MD:
Good post. The death of people close to us sure rachets up the carpe diem philosophy, doesn't it. It is one of death's odd gifts. I am glad you are getting back fishing along with a heightened and sweet/sad time with your FIL.
Anyway, tomorrow morning my 8 year-old-son and I head off on a 50-day trip across the country. I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago, and I wanted to do something big to celebrate this rite of passage. There is nothing i like better than a good road trip. So, despite the time, the cost, and the price of gas, we are on our way. We will go as far as Long Island (from Portland Oregon) before turning around and heading back. Can't wait! Friends say i am brave or adventurous - i like to think i am merely foolish. I am very excited to show my son what an amazing and varied country we have, as a first step in really going out to explore the world. We set up a blog (you have the address above) to document this journey for our friends, family and selves. Take a peak and see how we are doing along the way. Friends made us lots of CDs of good road music, so we are looking forward to 6 weeks of music, unscheduled time, swimming, picnics, fishing, and lots of whatever comes our way. I think of this trip as Highway 50.
Carpe Diem!
Hillary
Posted by: Hillary | June 17, 2008 at 05:24 PM
I've always said I want to work out with a personal trainer because when I did I was in much better shape (now I'm just in a more round shape).
But money was always an issue since good trainers are about $75/hr plus the cost of a gym membership. Plus the fact I just don't have the time being a stay at home dad.
So as part of my father's day gift wifey bought me a boot camp package. It is a group personal training thing but something to kick my butt in to high gear again.
Posted by: OM | June 17, 2008 at 05:30 PM
At almost 56, I've done almost everything I wanted to do. I've traveled, I raised a family of 'interesting' kids, and now I'm doing a lot of educational advocacy work to help families with special needs to get IEPs from recalcitrant school departments.
But there are two things on my 'life list' that I absolutely MUST do. One is probably never gonna happen due to finances and my waning health. That would be traveling to India. It's the country I'm most interested in visiting (the food, the flowers, the colors, the sari cloth!) but I fear it's no longer possible.
The other thing? White water rafting. And I'm doing it this summer. We already have the trip planned. I cannot WAIT. I've wanted to WWR for so many years and just couldn't fit it in, but at 16 my kids are so up for it, so we're going to do it!
Posted by: margalit | June 17, 2008 at 06:17 PM
I'm going to write my ass off. I want to make my living writing and I'm tired of excuses. I'm going to write like my head is on fire.
Posted by: Black Hockey Jesus | June 17, 2008 at 06:23 PM
I've always wanted to go to Europe (Paris and the entire country of Italy mostly). And to meet David Letterman and Brady Quinn. Maybe one day.
Posted by: Sheri | June 17, 2008 at 07:00 PM
I've been saying for years that I was going to join the local Big Brother program and take a young kid under my sing. Being raised by a single mother, I had some great mentors as a kid who kept me on the straight and narrow. It's time for me to pay back the favor. Thanks for the kick in the ass, MD. I'm going to sign up tomorrow!
Posted by: afrodad | June 17, 2008 at 07:15 PM
You're absolutely right... I think we all need a kick in the pants sometimes to get moving on things. I have two things that I've been wanting to do for a while now:
1. Write. I've been toying with the idea of freelancing for a few years. I am going to make it happen.
2. Move to Scotland. I said I would fill out the paperwork to emigrate while on maternity leave this year. I'm three months into mat leave and haven't picked up the pen to do so yet. Only nine months left before I have to go back to work, so I better get on it.
Posted by: Tawnya | June 17, 2008 at 07:45 PM
I've got so many unaccomplished things on my life list that I haven't done because I'm so damn lazy. I'm going to pledge right now that I'm going to get in better shape. I think losing my gut will help motivate me to start canceling off other items on my list.
Posted by: derek | June 17, 2008 at 07:53 PM
I don't know how you do it, MD. You run your own company. You spend quality time with the Peanut. You travel. You read books. And you still manage to watch your share of television. Now you're adding more things to do? Man, you make me feel like a lazy bastard.
Ok, here's something on my life list. I want to learn how to fly a plane. I think I've been saying this my entire life but somehow I just looked up and noticed that I'm 43. No time like the present, right?
Now I just have to get off my lazy ass!
Posted by: krukie | June 17, 2008 at 08:40 PM
Not the point of your post, but how could you ever call it anything but Lumbago Lake? I haven't lived in new england for 5 years, but still Chris and I giggle when we think of it.
Posted by: nonlineargirl | June 17, 2008 at 09:53 PM
I'm 37. I really, really want to write a book. I thought that getting into the blogging would help stimulate my creative writing so I could write the book. Now all of my creative juices are sucked up by the blog. *sigh*
I am truly sorry about your FIL, but glad that you are getting this beautiful gift of these last few months...
Posted by: Manager Mom | June 17, 2008 at 09:56 PM
My father's whole side of the family is Italian. He has a huge family and none of them speak English very well. I've always said that I wanted to learn Italian but somehow life, kids, television, and parental exhaustion have gotten in the way. I know I have noting to blame but my own pure laziness.
Posted by: Jenny P | June 17, 2008 at 10:17 PM
"it's like looking at bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow!"
Perfectly stated.
Tomorrow my daughter and I leave for London on a trip with my parents. They've made a tradition of taking each of the grandchildren on a special trip planned just for them, and I know it will add years to all of our lives to see a foreign country through the eyes of en eight-year-old who, for ten days at least, will be the only game in town. We spend as much time with the grandparents as possible, and they and our kids are strongly and seriously bonded.
Posted by: feefifoto | June 17, 2008 at 10:24 PM
I've always wanted to go back to dancing. I took classes as a child but stopped when my teacher raised the fees and started sucking more and more money outta us (hair ribbons were $9, and we were forced to buy them for our ballet exams). I was too shy and had no guts to audition for another dance school, so I quit dancing altogether. I told myself that I'd continue when I grew up and earned my own money.
Now it's time to fulfill that promise to myself.
Posted by: Phoebe | June 17, 2008 at 11:07 PM
My stepfather (a fisherman) always tells the story of a friend who wanted some kind of big ass boat his whole life. He always talked and talked about it and shortly after he finally bought it, he died.
Their mantra now is "buy the boat."
I'm trying to make it mine.
Peanut is beyond cute, especially from the view of the clearly proud papa on other other side of that camera lens.
Posted by: Mom101 | June 17, 2008 at 11:13 PM
I have always wanted to talk to my grandpa about how he feels about a couple of pivotal life experiences that pertain to me. I am spending time with him this summer, and reading this has given me that push to finally talk to him about it.
Posted by: Soul | June 17, 2008 at 11:29 PM
I have always wanted to take a photography class, get into this as a hobby, taking a writing class, and just write, write, write. I also want to travel more. I have been to Europe before, but I want to visit more countries. Israel is also on top of my list. I would be happy traveling anywhere.
Posted by: crystal | June 18, 2008 at 12:21 AM
The Peanut is sooooo adorable! Is that a Dora fishing rod? LittleJack has the same one. He takes it in the bathtub every night. Maybe that's how you can negotiate bathtime with the Peanut?
Posted by: Helene | June 18, 2008 at 12:33 AM
I want to help open up access to space for regular people, and help bring energy from space to Earth. That's why I'm spending so much time and money on a start-up (LaserMotive) working on laser power beaming: because it's something I believe can help make the world a better place for my kids.
Posted by: Tom N. | June 18, 2008 at 01:02 AM
Going on a month long trek in the Himalayas
Posted by: kongki | June 18, 2008 at 01:04 AM
Have I told you lately how much I love to read your blog? Have I?
Well, I'm telling you now.
You've got a way with words, a talent for a turn of phrase, that I'd give anything to have. Plus, the Peanut is even cuter than the unicorn and the kittens and the rainbow. No comparison.
Posted by: Mamacita | June 18, 2008 at 01:25 AM
I've always wanted to join a choir. So this year, I'm going to try one. I'm impressed how many people are learning italian! I've resolved to learn a foreign language so often, and got a few lessons in that I think the only way it is going to happen is move to one of those countries.
Posted by: Jennifer | June 18, 2008 at 06:32 AM
I think losing my gut will help motivate me to start canceling off other items on my list.It's like looking at bunch of newborn kittens kissing a unicorn underneath a rainbow.
Posted by: robinfish1 | June 18, 2008 at 07:59 AM
I'm going to start submitting patterns to knitting publications.
Posted by: Mandy | June 18, 2008 at 09:01 AM
I'm going to volunteer more. I stopped doing it when my twin girls were born 5 years ago and I miss is tremendously. I really have no excuse not to.
Posted by: jacki | June 18, 2008 at 09:08 AM
I'm going to stop working late at the office so many days per week. Reading your blog always reminds me of the more important things in life. I've got to reprioritize my life or I'm going to drop dead from a heart attach in a few years and my kids won't even know me.
Thanks for the kick in the ass, MD>
Posted by: jefferson | June 18, 2008 at 09:10 AM
@ 33, I want to race mountain bikes for the first time at the Month of Mud this fall. I'm going to do it, too. Been bike commuting again, after extended medical issues and got a new rig in October of last year. I'll be the guy with a shit eating grin on his face, suffering through, yelling, "Tagumpay! Make way for the Pinoy Clydesdale, make way!"
Posted by: Ka_Jun | June 18, 2008 at 09:52 AM
What a wonderful post! I just went and wrote down some of the things I want to do so that I can keep myself honest.
My husband and I have started a tradition of spending money DOING things rather than BUYING things for our birthdays, especially the big ones. This has been so much fun - building memories that we never would have had otherwise, and we both get to tick a few "must dos" off our list.
Posted by: PA | June 18, 2008 at 10:57 AM
I want to drive across the country with no set itinerary and see as much of the beauty in this nation as I can. I'm trying to plan it for next summer. Hope I can do it.
Posted by: gerry | June 18, 2008 at 11:13 AM
I had sort of a similar revelation recently and started taking guitar lessons, which I've wanted to do for years and finally just got off my butt to do. Now my other goals are to run in some kind of distance race and downsize my life so I can afford to work part time and spend more time with my kid and husband. Life is too short to work 40+ hours per week at a job that won't ever be anything more to me than a good job only because we think we need more money.
Posted by: Maggie | June 18, 2008 at 11:59 AM
Hey, I saw a guy kayaking just the other day while waiting for the metro north at the marble hill station. You know, where the east river meets the hudson? Now I'm wondering if that was you.
Posted by: Spring | June 18, 2008 at 01:35 PM
I'm planning to go to the Ladakh region of northern India by myself. I've never traveled on my own but I feel it is something I have to do to really "find myself". What better place then the spiritual Himalayas.
Once the kids are off to college the wife and I plan on selling everything and "retiring" by traveling around the world teaching, building, assisting, etc in the places that need it.
Posted by: DK | June 18, 2008 at 02:03 PM
I want to live in Europe (Where the history comes from--Eddie Izzard) and I would love to brush up on my French.
I am currently working on one of my dreams. I am a jewelry maker and my husband just created a beautiful website for me to sell my creations. I feel so lucky to be married to a talented, supportive man who, more than anything, wants me to be successful and happy.
Sometimes it's not the huge life goals but the little things like buying your first home and having a child that make you feel that you have accomplished so much more than you thought possible.
Posted by: Shannan | June 18, 2008 at 02:21 PM
Between work and family, I feel like I never have a moment to myself. I think we all need that for own personal self-growth so although it may be tough, I'm going to be a little selfish for awhile. I've been thinking about this for awhile but have never figured out how to do it. Until now.
Next week, I'm going on a 5-day camping trip by myself. I'm going to pack my fishing rod, a stack of hot dogs, and a coupe of books. It's going to be my mental vacation. I can't wait.
Posted by: jared | June 18, 2008 at 02:44 PM