Quick Poll

Yesterday, my buddy Andrew and I were discussing the season finale of the TV show "House."

During the episode, a woman is injured in a bus accident. However, there are some strange complications that seem to imply a dangerous preexisting condition. The patient is put into a medical coma while the doctors attempt to diagnose her and find the proper treatment.

The doctors eventually realize that the patient cannot be cured and will soon die. The boyfriend is given the choice whether to let her die peacefully in her sleep or to have her awakened so that they can say goodbye to one another and he can tell her about her impending death. This being television, he naturally chooses to have her woken up. They lie together on the hospital bed for a few hours, tell each other how much they love one another, and then she naturally slips into a coma and dies.

While Andrew and his wife Lara were watching the show, Lara immediately spun towards him and said, "Just for the record, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT WAKING ME UP!" Andrew completely agreed.

I posed this hypothetical to the BossLady and she didn't hesitate either. After thinking about if for a brief millisecond, she told me that she wouldn't want to be woken up either.

Me? I thought there was something romantic about it. I would want to be woken up. I could tell my wife and daughter how much I loved them. I could offer them my last lessons on life. Also, I think it would help provide closure for everyone and maybe make their suffering a little less painful.

Plus, knowing I was going to die, I could inhale a giant cheesesteak with fried onions and pickles, maybe catch a Mets game on TV, and then still have time to call a few people and tell them how much I hate them. How bad could it be? Sounds great!

Andrew thinks I'm a romantic idiot and that the idea of being woken up, only to be told that you were about to die, is morbidly disturbing. He thinks if we asked 100 people, 99 would not want to be woken up.

So naturally we agreed that we'd post the question here on the blog.

What's the deal, my friends? Would you want to be woken up from a coma so that you could say your goodbyes and be told that you have only hours to live? Or would you rather stay in the coma and pass peacefully? And why would you pick one choice over another?

An inquiring mind wants to know...

Comments

[L.]

Wake me up for death, please.

Acta est fabula, plaudite!

[alice]

Wake me up! Saying goodbye and consciously closing out my life is way more important, and this is from someone who LOVES her sleep.

Having lost a few friends suddenly, I couldn't imagine wanting to die without having every chance to say goodbye possible.

[midlife mommy]

Wake me up. I would want to say good-bye to my husband and daughter.

[Suzy]

Wake me up. I want to be a control freak until the last minute.

[Papa Bradstein]

Wake me up before I go go.

[Bethiclaus]

My husband and I had this same conversation when we watched it. I say Hell to the No DO NOT wake my ass up. My husband says that he only wants to be woken up if it would provide closure for the girls or for me. He made the interesting caveat that he would not necessarily want to be told that he was going to die. For what it's worth.

[mama without instructions]

i'm not super into the show but i saw that episode. i liked how she didn't have any interest in being angry or asking why. those emotions/thoughts had no meaning. that seemed real to me. i would want to be woken up. i am so in love with my husband and kids that i would want to go feeling that love, not just fade away without any connection.

[Cindy]

Wake me up so I can give my husband and kids a last kiss and tell them how much I love them.

[Amy]

Do NOT wake me up.

[maria]

Wake me up! And scoot over so I can have half of that cheesecake (the half without pickles and onions).

[jennifer]

for sure, wake me up. for all the same reasons above!

[croutonboy]

Fuck that, dude. I'd just wake up to the disappointment that I wasn't dying in either an apocalyptic sword-battle a la Highlander or via a drug-fueled three-week bender involving debauchery that would put Chris Farley to shame, both of which I have planned out in great detail in my head.

Honestly, I think what looks romantic on TV is probably grim, depressing, and heart-wrenching in real-life. Unless you can get John Legend or Damien Rice to sing in the background or something.

[Megan M]

No way in hell would I want to be woken up. It's nice to think that we'd all take the news that we had only an hour to live well, and spend it being lovey-dovey with our families, but I think most of us would truly freak out, and be in tears and shock for what remaining time we had left. That's not how I want to be remembered.

One of my grandparents died suddenly in his sleep -- his wife lingered on for days. We all talk about how blessed he was to go quickly, without any pain or distress. Her passing was not pleasant for her or her family.

[Rachael]

My husband and I both agreed we would like to be woken up to say goodbye, and any other last words we needed to say. Especially with kids, I would want to get a chance to say I loved them and let them say goodbye, and let them know I would always be there watching over them.

[JG]

I'm with Croutonboy. I think the reality of being woken up would be much more tragic than you could imagine. Let me die in peace.

[Elaine Gan]

Woken up to say my last words if i haven't said it yet.

Give my best sloppy kiss to my loved ones and slowly slip away peacefully...

[kt]

wake up

[rebecca]

I would TOTALLY want to be woken up. I would want to write my two year old a letter, telling her how much I love her so that when she is older she could have it. I would want to spend quality time with my hubby. I would want to make my ideas for my memorial known.

I would want to eat fondue with my fingers, call my friends and family, and well, whatever else I might suddenly find was urgent.

And I am wishing peace and serenity for your family.

[Chad]

Would there be a lot of pain involved?
Romantic, wake me up.

[Roy]

I'd like to be woken up for sure. I'd love to be able to tell my precious wife and dear son for one last time how much I love them and how much they have made my life worth living.

I guess that makes me a romantic idiot like you ;)

[Whit]

Wake-y, wake-y, hands on snakey! You know, for the road.

[Kim]

You should set up some kind of poll so we can see the percentage of the results. Without a doubt wake my ass up!!! I need to say goodbye to my babies and tell them how awesome they are!!!

[rwc]

I lean towards not waking up, but would want my wife to make the decision based on what is best for her and our daughter.

[Kim]

You should set up some kind of poll so we can see the percentage of the results. Without a doubt wake my ass up!!! I need to say goodbye to my babies and tell them how awesome they are!!!

[wanida]

i'd want to be woken up. i mean hello, you're going to die! don't you want to say goodbye?

[Kim]

You should set up some kind of poll so we can see the percentage of the results. Without a doubt wake my ass up!!! I need to say goodbye to my babies and tell them how awesome they are!!!

[Minjenah]

Don't wake me up.

[mikeb]

My wife and I discussed it after watching House and we both want to be woke up.

[NomadicOne]

Hi MD,

I would want to be woken up. My dad died when I was 6 and I didn't get to say goodbye and it has always haunted me (for the record he had cancer, my parents knew he was dying and were very open with me about it--for 1968--but my 6 yo brain just chose to not understand or not believe so his death was still a complete shock to me and I wasn't with him in hospital when it happened). I would want to say goodbye to my dh and my dd and my mom--tell them how much I adore them and what hopes I have for them all and tell them to look for me in the hereafter (whatever form it comes in...and I have to believe there is something). I wouldn't care about pain or the shock of the news--it would all be worth it for all of us to have those precious last moments together. And, selfishly, to know that my dearest ones would be there holding me.

Thinking of your FIL and your whole family...

Fondly,
T

[Jennifer]

I'd definitely want to be woken up. I'm not convinced there's anything after death, so I want the goodbye. Also, the giant cheesecake would be nice :).

[Emily]

Woken up, of course!

[Jen]

Like George Michael said, "Wake me up, before you go go, don't leave me hangin on like a yoyo." My guy wouldn't want to be woken up, but I sure as hell would, for the same reasons you enumerated.

[cryingpearls]

please wake me up!

[Courtney]

Woken up. Definitely.

[JLS]

Wake me up. Definitely. *Definitely*. I want to live every single possible second of my life and then die with as much grace as I can muster.

[Jennifer]

Wake me up! I want to say goodbye and make sure my husband and kid(s) knew how much they meant to me.

[Marcia, Organising Queen]

I'd definitely want to be woken up to say my good-byes and specify exactly how the funeral should happen :)

[zenoma]

I'm with you! While it would be very tempting to just slip off in my sleep (the ideal way to go), given the opportunity, I would much rather say good bye. Not for myself really, but for my children. I would want more than anything to tell them everything will be OK, how much I love them, how proud I am of them, how they need to follow their bliss in life, to not be sad but to celebrate life everyday, etc. No doubt it would be a lot for me to process and cope with in a few hours time, but I definitely would want to give this last gift to my kids.

[Melissa]

I would definitely want to be woken! So much to say and so little time to say it. I too, would want to make a few phone calls and sort a few people out ... but then again why waste precious moments on losers.

[Chakli]

I am with you on this. I would like to reassure HG that I did not suffer much, and that I was happy in the life I spent with him.I think this will also give him some time to prepare for my death rather than be faced with a bygone conclusion. After we've had our little rendezvous, i would very much like to die ASAP. I don't think I want to sit and suffer for a few more days!

[Shannan]

Woken Up. I'd want to have every last moment of life I could with my family. Just one Kiss, One hug...I think it would be completely worth it.

[Ian G.]

Interesting. My wife immediately said that she would not want to be woken up. However, I definitely would want to. Split decision, MD!

[Ka_Jun]

Wake me up, I'll be damned if the "master plan" is going to die with me. The revolution will not be televised.

[Emma]

Longtime reader de-lurking here as this actually happened to my aunt. She was diagnosed with leukemia, had the chemo really soon after (like within days), the huge number of dead white blood cells caused multiple problems that meant she needed an iron lung, which she didn't cope well with, so she was put into a medical coma.

She had left her home country decades before and her family had never come to visit her, but because of the cancer they immediately made the trip to the other side of the world to see her. She was woken up when they arrived, and totally freaked out because what else does your family coming to see you for the first time ever mean but that you are going to die?? She freaked out so much that she was put back into a coma, and then a week later when the chemo had made not even a dent in the number of leukemic cells, she was taken off the iron lung.

I don't know if my uncle and cousins or her family were happy she had been woken up - her diagnosis came the day I myself flew to the other side of the world, and I haven't really seen them since. But it doesn't sound very romantic.

But even so, I think I would want to be woken up to say goodbye. Although... I did need an emergency appendectomy in a developing country once, and just before they knocked me out I thought, well, this could be it, and I sent my love to everyone in my thoughts, and was totally at peace. So for me at least, it wouldn't have been so bad if I had never woken up.

In some way, isn't it unusually cruel to wake someone up just to tell them that they're about to die? I understand the desire for closure but I think it would be horrible for the patient. Count me among the few who do NOT want to be woken up.

[Kari]

I would want to be woken up. As you said, it may help the remaining family members find closure, it would give me the opportunity to say good-bye to those I loved, and the last vision in my head would be of those I loved the most.

Technically, since she fell back into a coma before her death, it wasn't like she went in a lot of pain; but she was able to spend her last moments on earth with the person she loved the most.

Yep, put me down for THAT! I want to be woken.

[cellobella]

Wake me up. I know how hard it is when a loved one dies and you don't get the chance to say goodbye. I'm going to die anyway and if waking me up makes it easier for my partner - so be it.

[Jenny]

I hate to invoke George Michael here, but definitely wake me up before I go-go.

[jayb]

Screw that! Let me sleep and die in peace. If I was woken up to leanr that I was about to die, I'd probably end up having a heart attack anyway.

[melissa m.]

I loved that season finale. Can't wait to see what happens next season. On another note, if you were Wilson, would you forgive House?