How many times can a grown man watch "The Sound of Music" with his daughter before he completely loses his sanity?
What are the future ramifications if a young girl watches "The Sound of Music" 43,287 times between the ages of two and four? Will she want to move to Austria? Pursue a career in child services? Abandon a career in the nunnery?
Why do toddlers feel compelled to unravel an entire roll of toilet paper? Is the fun in watching it unroll or in watching your parents go completely bonkers?
Is baby perfume really necessary? Febreeze and scented baby wipes seem to work just fine for us.
If you are otherwise happy with your nanny, should it matter that her cellphone's ringtone is Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me?"
McDonalds Happy Meals: Ruthless case of aggressive fast-food marketing? Or greatest parenting tool ever?
If a little girl in the playground keeps pushing your adorable daughter to the ground, is it acceptable to give her an eating disorder? Or should I just confuse her by threatening to kick her in the nuts?
Is it wrong to feel completely smug and self-righteous when your kid is the only one not screaming and crying during the entire 5-hour plane ride?
Am I the only one who listens patiently to other people's boring parenting stories, waiting until they're done so I can tell my own boring parenting stories?
By constantly telling kids to "use their words," are we raising the next generation of wussies?
Why would anyone let their pre-school son get a mohawk? Is life just not that interesting for him anymore? Is he rebelling? Against what? Vegetables?
Wait a second. High fructose corn syrup isn't just like corn? Uh-oh.
Why does everyone freak out about potty training? Do you have any adult friends who "just never quite got the hang of it?"
Anyone have any tips on how to get my toddler to take a bath? These nightly battles are driving me crazy. I'm thinking about throwing Happy Meals in the bathtub to entice her. It makes me feel like a lion tamer.
At what age do children learn to carry their own tissues and blow their own damn noses? I'm getting really sick of reaching into every single pair of my pants and pulling out a half-used snot-ridden emergency tissue.
Has anyone else gone into an important client meeting and taken out their laptop to do a PowerPoint presentation, only to find it covered with 50 Cinderella stickers?
Is it really possible for a human being to greatly enjoy a food but then one day decide never to eat it again? Or is that done solely to drive one's father insane?
What lasts longer? That fresh new baby smell or that fresh new car smell? I'm just wondering because my car still smells pretty good but my daughter's feet smell like vinegar.
Why do the worst tantrums always occur in the most public spaces with the most number of spectators?
The screaming and the whining. Does it EVER end?
Your answers to any of these questions are greatly appreciated. Feel free to add your own. Sometimes I think it really does take a village.
My best suggestion on the baths is to refuse to give it to her.
PARENT: No bath today. No bath. No bath for you. No baths. Nope. No baths. No baths.
CHILD: BATH! BATH!
Posted by: Keith | May 08, 2008 at 01:59 PM
Baths!! I give my kids showers with one of those squirty things that looks like the one on your sink. My son (6) doesn't mind, my daughter (4) does! I tell her that she can take a bath with a beating or without one, her choice, then remind her that I'm bigger than she is.
Mohawks! WT parenting at it's best. In a day when schools are making kids adhere to a strict dress code, some parents have to find new ways to prove that they and thier children are white trash.
Sound of Music? Haven't gotten them to sit still enough for that one yet
Temper tantrums in public places....I think they know that you can't beat them in public.
Posted by: Mike | May 13, 2008 at 01:20 PM
Bath time= BUBBLES. Seriously, dudes...
Posted by: mangadezi-jr | May 26, 2008 at 12:21 AM
Hello MetroDad. I've just started reading your blog and your entries are simply interesting with a touch of simple humour of the rantings & thoughts of a well, a metro dad. I'm not a parent yet, but I sure hope I'll be a mother someday and can just take life as it is with doses simple joys and appreciations of the little things that comes our way.
Bless you, MetroDad. You've made life seems easy & with a pinch of bittersweet.
Posted by: therese | June 10, 2008 at 10:52 PM
I really Love Reading This kind of topic specially when it contains usefull information about what you need.Click my name and follow this topic with free copies,download and cracks available.
Posted by: DMC Devil May Cry | February 11, 2013 at 01:42 AM