Suburban City

As a true New Yorker, I don't think I could ever live in the suburbs.

I just can't picture myself in the front yard in a robe and boxers screaming at those damn O'Reilly kids to get the hell off my damn lawn and keep their damn freaky music down. I can't stand the thought of complete strangers being able to just walk up to my front door and ring my doorbell. I also suffer from terrible allergies and have severe reactions to polo shirts, Dockers, pastel sweaters, light-beer drinkers, and Stepford wives.

But most importantly, I don't know what the hell I would do if (1) the roof leaked, (2) the basement flooded, (3) the boiler broke, or (4) I couldn't find a restaurant that delivered decent sushi.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against the suburbs and I wholeheartedly understand their appeal. In many ways, the promise of a nice house with a patch of land where your kids can run around in a safe neighborhood and get a decent public school education is the very epitome of the American dream.

After all, very few immigrants would ever risk death to come here for the dream of sharing a studio apartment with 8 other people in a crime-riddled ghetto with burned-out schools and bullets flying. Hell, if they wanted that kind of life, they could have stayed in Karachi. Or Mexico City. Or Baghdad.

However, while the suburbs are personally not my cup of tea, I do often dream of living out in the country, somewhere far removed from the hustle and bustle of urban life.

I'd have an enormous house, abundant acreage, and maybe even a barn and some horses. My closest neighbors would be 5 miles away. I'd drive an old jeep and teach English or History at the local high school.  On weekends, I'd go fly fishing for trout in the creek behind our property. The Peanut and BossLady would fly kites in open fields with all the other local families. At night, we'd all come home, invite a few friends over, roast a pig, and drink some moonshine on the porch underneath the stars.

Yes, my friends. It's true.. Your favorite urban father has a part of him that has always longed for a simple Lake Wobegon life.

Although I've done a lot of things in my life, traveled all over the world, and seen some incredible things, there is a big part of me that pines for a much simpler life than one I've ever experienced. Every time I buy a jar of homemade jam, take a hay ride, or eat cotton candy at a state fair, I think about how different that life would be.

If there is a single metaphorical event that symbolizes my nostalgia for life in a simpler era, the drive-in movie is it. For years, I have always wanted to go to a drive-in theater.

Every summer, I look on the internet to see if there's one nearby. Unfortunately, I've never been able to find one within 150 miles of New York City.

Until this past weekend.

BossLady, knowing of my misguided love for drive-in theaters, made arrangements for us to go to New York City's only indoor drive-in theater and the world's smallest. It has only one car.

Started by artists Ben and Hall Smyth, DRV-IN is a temporary 350 sq ft storefront on the Lower East Side consisting of a 1965 one-of-a-kind Ford Falcon convertible, a giant indoor movie screen, painted starry skies, artificial grass, a potted tree, and a vintage popcorn popper. While the car can be reserved for as many as 6 people, BossLady thought it would be more fun if it were just the two of us. Needless to say, she was right and I had a total blast.

This month, DRV-IN is featuring a list of films that feature Ford Mustangs. We chose the French film, "La Femme Nikita."

Together we sat in the back seat, drank some beers, ate some popcorn, and were ushered back to a time when going to the movies didn't mean packing up the car, driving out to the homogenized chain theater and being forced to sit through 30 minutes of commercials for Starbucks, McDonalds, and American Express while being price gouged for a $15 combo of soda/popcorn.

This is how movies were meant to be seen.

After the movie on Friday night, I decided to keep going with the non-urban phase.  So, on Saturday morning, the Peanut and I drove out to The Doctor's country house, where we spent the rest of the weekend going on pony rides, hunting for worms, going to the local Easter egg hunt, climbing rocks, and counting stars.

You know, I think I could almost get used to this country living.

Nahh...who am I kidding?

Comments

[Dan McCulley]

Now look what you got me singing...

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

...The chores.
...The stores.
...Fresh air.
...Times Square

You are my wife.
Good bye, city life.
Green Acres we are there.

[Kila]

You'd love Wisconsin ;)

By the way, yard work, not to mention shoveling in winter, takes up a lot of time. I often long for an apartment in the city, which, around here, means I'm crazy.

Is it true you can go to school and work and do your shopping and go out to eat, etc. without even having to get in a car? That I could get used to.

[Spring]

There are drive-in theatres in Hyde Park and Poughkeepsie, north of the city.

overlookdrivein.com

and

hydeparkdrivein.com

[Spring]

There are drive-in theatres in Hyde Park and Poughkeepsie, north of the city.

overlookdrivein.com

and

hydeparkdrivein.com

[Waya]

You're going soft on me in your old age MD? Your description of the 'burbs life is right on. I tell the kids to be quiet while we hide in the closet when a solicitor comes to the door.

But I love my suburban life for now, when summer's here...we have our "Miller time" in the front porch with the neighbors, while the kids run in the front yard just having a great old time.

It's funny my hubbie mentioned the other day that when we become "empty nesters", we'd sell this house and trade our suburban life for the downtown life. But that is a loooong way to go!

And I love drive-in movies too, too bad they are a thing of the past. The last movie we saw at the drive-in was "Poetic Justice", and that was so painful to watch!

[LogicalMama]

I hear MetroDude loud and clear.

I lived in NYC and loved it! I also lived in Oakland, CA and loved it, but now we are in the burbs of the East Bay in CA. and we love it here too!! We have a small neighborhood and our son can play in the back yard and the front yard without worry! It's literally like Mayberry! And I haven't seen a pink polo yet!

A handful of the neighbors have a designated holiday to throw a party for the neighbors! We've got a Superbowl party at the house with 8 TV's! The New Year's party is at the house with the huge family room and deck! The fourth of July party is at the house with the pool! There's a Martini party at the YUPPY house a week before the New Years Eve party to pick the Party Martini for the NYE party (this year it was the blood orange martini made fresh!). We've got a Whole Foods and an Elephant Pharmacy (you East coasters have yet to experience the allure of the Elephant Pharm!) within close driving distance..... excellent sushi, fresh Italian pastas, restaurants that serve fresh organic local produce year round.... and I've been in shorts for the last two weeks and our trees have been budding for weeks as well! And yes, there is a drive-in that's two towns over!!!!!
Yeah, I wouldn't trade the climbing of trees, hiking in the hills, the riding of bikes and skateboards in our driveway, on the street (for the older kids!), going to school and making friends with neighbors instead of kids from all over the county, local soccer, baseball.........

[Kila]

Your post came to mind several times today, such as when I found water in the basement from all the melting snow.

Let's see...no homeowners insurance to pay, no $5000 annual property tax bill, no tickets for not getting the sidewalks shoveled on time, no more spending a whole summer weekend on damn yard work, no putting in new windows and putting on a new roof, no more worrying sick about neighbor kids wandering onto our yard and playing on our swings, etc.

The damn neighbor kids coming over on our property all the time, without even asking, drives me nuts. One of them will get hurt, and we'll end up taking the blame.

And if you think having a kid takes up every spare moment and dollar you have, OMG, a house is just as bad. Kids + House = Broke

I'm guessing you don't even need a car. No car payments, no car insurance, no $50 spent to fill up the tank every week with gas...

Yeah, city apartment living, here I come!

[AfroDad]

We live in the suburbs of Chicago. In many ways, we love the quality of life that we have. Big house. Nice property. Great school district. Safe neighborhoods.

However I can't help but notice that my neighborhood is probably 99% caucasian. The only other minorities around are a few Asian women married to Caucasians.

As an African-American man who is very conscious of his race, I have to admit that the lack of minorities in the suburbs is disturbing to me. I'm sure there are other suburbs that are more diverse and I don't mean to stereotype all suburbs.

Although we love our neighborhood, we're actually thinking of moving someplace that has greater racial diversification.

[Swan]

I'm a fully ingrained suburbanite. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only Asian in my predominantly caucasian neighborhood. And Phoenix, though racially diverse, there's really no ethnic neighborhoods like in Chicago and LA and NYC - everybody's dispersed.

So, because of that and the closeness of assorted freeways, I can access excellent ethnic cuisines ranging from Asian to Ethopian to down home country/soul food as well as regional faves like Chicago Italian beef sammichs, Philly cheesesteaks, NY thin crust(Hello Patsy Grimaldi!), and all California has to offer. Recently found an Afghani kabob place that blew my mind. There are three excellent Asian grocery stores within 20 minutes and plenty of farmers' markets to graze. And because I am an unabashed consumer whore, there's three different Costcos to oblige me.

Because I've started a little garden in my piece o' suburbia, I have fresh herbs for cooking and looking forward to plucking some vine ripe tomatoes this summer. Little by little, I'm adding more plants and trees so that in the next few years, I can eat seasonally and spend a little less in my Safeway/Whole Foods produce department. And in AZ, I can grow something edible year-round. I still have enough yard to lay down some lawn so we can play in the backyard. I know of some neighbors that keep goats, sheep, and horses in their yards. Mine's a bit small for that - maybe some chickens, tops. Ooh...fresh eggs... But right now, I'm trying to decimate some pesky fire ants.

As for the home maintenance problems? Yeah, you're talking to a gal that's still paying off several thousand dollars for a new AC unit that had to be installed last summer. But there's this thing called the Yellow Pages & friends/neighbors' recommendations that has nicely solved things like a broken water heater, getting rid of africanized honeybees(I never knew I could sprint so fast until that day), replacing a hot tub, and building a new cinder block wall, because my next door neighbor's hedge just decimated the old wooden fence that separated our yards.

Do I wish there was some more racial diversity on my block? Sure. If I really wanted to seek solace in Koreans, there's three Korean churches nearby. There's also a taiwanese buddhist temple close by.

But my neighbors(minus the one next door with the fence-crushing hedge - he's not a very social guy) are a pretty nice group of people. We chitchat. We look after each other's houses when someone's on a trip. We help each other out. We gossip. It's a community that I thought I lost when I left Chicago so long ago. It also helps that we like our neighborhood so much, our friends over the years have bought houses nearby as well, making it even more cozier. It's comfort to our friends with kids that as the kids head into the angry teen years, those kids are probably gonna run away to our house(and we'll give their parents peace of mind). Oh, and there's no HOA, so I can paint my house fluorescent pink if I wanted to. Not that I will, but it's nice to know that I'm not part of a cookie-cutter community who's fining you because your front lawn is an inch beyond HOA limits or make you go to court because you just wanted to put a flag outside.

Home is where you make of it, whether it be city, suburb, or country. I like the suburbs because I can access either extreme, do my own thing with my little house, and because it's AZ, got low property taxes.

If I wanted the kids off my yard(I really don't care - it's all rock, desert landscaping), I can just plant more cactus.

Are there things I miss from Chicago? Absolutely. But I visit as much as I can, which makes those Chi-town things all the sweeter for me. Hey, I gotta go somewhere to escape the heat from time to time.

[a husband]

And as a guy who was raised in the suburbs, I can only handle so much time in the big city!

(Found your blog through a trail of links this morning.)

[Mark Keisler]

I love you man, but you can't rant about getting raped for a movie and popcorn for $15 when I'm sure you paid more than that to watch one in a glorified alley :). That's a pretend drive-in - an easy-bake oven :).
I live in the burbs now, I've lived in Chicago but grew up on a farm. I like the quiet. I like being able to park somewhere when I need to and not pay $25 or drive around the block 20 times to do it. I like my kids being able to play in a backyard or a nice park 1 block away. The city was alright when I was younger and single, but I wouldn't live there with a family. To each his own.

And afrodad, if you read this, don't be so conscious of your race. You might be the only one...

[Anabel]

Do you mean I can fit 8 persons in my bullet ridden studio apartment located in crime-riddled ghetto with burned-out schools and bullets flying in Mexico City? woo hoo! I'm having such a gut reaction to your comment I'm mumbling and all I can manage to type is WTF? what kind of comment is that coming from a "worldly man"

[Childsplayx2]

I started reading this post last week and then got distracted and I realized I never finished it.

I have many happy memories of the drive-in as a teenager. And they don't involve watching a movie - as the windows were too fogged up and I was a bit distracted.

[deeness]

My husband and I are new parents of a six-month-old daughter. We cannot wait until the drive-in near opens for the spring. We can go, as a family, to a first run movie!

[Gina]

I have lived in the city for all of my adult life. Like you, I can't imagine living in the suburbs - though I spend enough time in the suburbs with a boyfriend who lives there (every bloody weekend) to know that there is little to do or see that does not involve shopping or eating. The city offers art, culture, ethnic diversity - in food, people, etc., and so much to do that you can never fit it all in. Why would a family choose anything else than the city to raise their child(ren) in? :) Though here in St. Louis (the city I live in) people leave the city to get to better schools...

[6th Floor Blogger]

hahaha... I mean, i love the idea, but there is something a little wrong about a one-car drive in theatre in the city. I'm not sure it's the same without the big fields, having to listen on the radio(and still listen to the credits as you drive out of the parking lot) having random teenagers around and noise and all that. (Try a friday night).

However, there aren't any of those in the suburbs either, I did manage to make it to one up in Buffalo once, I believe it's still there. I'm glad I got to do it before they're all gone.