Suburban City

As a true New Yorker, I don't think I could ever live in the suburbs.

I just can't picture myself in the front yard in a robe and boxers screaming at those damn O'Reilly kids to get the hell off my damn lawn and keep their damn freaky music down. I can't stand the thought of complete strangers being able to just walk up to my front door and ring my doorbell. I also suffer from terrible allergies and have severe reactions to polo shirts, Dockers, pastel sweaters, light-beer drinkers, and Stepford wives.

But most importantly, I don't know what the hell I would do if (1) the roof leaked, (2) the basement flooded, (3) the boiler broke, or (4) I couldn't find a restaurant that delivered decent sushi.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have anything against the suburbs and I wholeheartedly understand their appeal. In many ways, the promise of a nice house with a patch of land where your kids can run around in a safe neighborhood and get a decent public school education is the very epitome of the American dream.

After all, very few immigrants would ever risk death to come here for the dream of sharing a studio apartment with 8 other people in a crime-riddled ghetto with burned-out schools and bullets flying. Hell, if they wanted that kind of life, they could have stayed in Karachi. Or Mexico City. Or Baghdad.

However, while the suburbs are personally not my cup of tea, I do often dream of living out in the country, somewhere far removed from the hustle and bustle of urban life.

I'd have an enormous house, abundant acreage, and maybe even a barn and some horses. My closest neighbors would be 5 miles away. I'd drive an old jeep and teach English or History at the local high school.  On weekends, I'd go fly fishing for trout in the creek behind our property. The Peanut and BossLady would fly kites in open fields with all the other local families. At night, we'd all come home, invite a few friends over, roast a pig, and drink some moonshine on the porch underneath the stars.

Yes, my friends. It's true.. Your favorite urban father has a part of him that has always longed for a simple Lake Wobegon life.

Although I've done a lot of things in my life, traveled all over the world, and seen some incredible things, there is a big part of me that pines for a much simpler life than one I've ever experienced. Every time I buy a jar of homemade jam, take a hay ride, or eat cotton candy at a state fair, I think about how different that life would be.

If there is a single metaphorical event that symbolizes my nostalgia for life in a simpler era, the drive-in movie is it. For years, I have always wanted to go to a drive-in theater.

Every summer, I look on the internet to see if there's one nearby. Unfortunately, I've never been able to find one within 150 miles of New York City.

Until this past weekend.

BossLady, knowing of my misguided love for drive-in theaters, made arrangements for us to go to New York City's only indoor drive-in theater and the world's smallest. It has only one car.

Started by artists Ben and Hall Smyth, DRV-IN is a temporary 350 sq ft storefront on the Lower East Side consisting of a 1965 one-of-a-kind Ford Falcon convertible, a giant indoor movie screen, painted starry skies, artificial grass, a potted tree, and a vintage popcorn popper. While the car can be reserved for as many as 6 people, BossLady thought it would be more fun if it were just the two of us. Needless to say, she was right and I had a total blast.

This month, DRV-IN is featuring a list of films that feature Ford Mustangs. We chose the French film, "La Femme Nikita."

Together we sat in the back seat, drank some beers, ate some popcorn, and were ushered back to a time when going to the movies didn't mean packing up the car, driving out to the homogenized chain theater and being forced to sit through 30 minutes of commercials for Starbucks, McDonalds, and American Express while being price gouged for a $15 combo of soda/popcorn.

This is how movies were meant to be seen.

After the movie on Friday night, I decided to keep going with the non-urban phase.  So, on Saturday morning, the Peanut and I drove out to The Doctor's country house, where we spent the rest of the weekend going on pony rides, hunting for worms, going to the local Easter egg hunt, climbing rocks, and counting stars.

You know, I think I could almost get used to this country living.

Nahh...who am I kidding?

Comments

[Molly]

If it's an enormous house, abundant acreage, barn and horses you're looking for, let me offer you this piece of advice: don't quit your day job to become a teacher just yet. I'm married to one. We live in a dwarven condo in the suburbs that we sold our organs to be able to afford, and we both commute two hours a day to get to work.

If they'd pay teachers what their counterparts in the private sector knock down every year, we might be able to afford to live in the communities where we work. An actual single-family home would be a dream come true.

[Jessica]

When I was growing up in rural Indiana, the local drive-in theater was a big part of our lives. It was where we kissed our first boy, drank our first beer, and smoked our first cigarette. It was so idyllic and I look back at those old memories fondly.

This past summer, I returned home for the first time in many years. That old drive-in theater? Replaced by a suburban parking lot for the new mall across the street. More than anything else, this made me so sad. It's like a part of my past died also.

[Sarah]

I can't believe that I live somewhere that has something of interest to you! I live about two miles from a drive-in movie theatre. There are, I think, only two left in the Twin Cities area and the last I heard they were talking about tearing down the one in my city. It'll be open this season, at least. I think we'll have to make a point to get out and enjoy it before they build a Wal-mart in it's place. Blag.

[marsha p.]

This post made me laugh and cringe at the same time. I laughed because I love the idea of an indoor drive-in theater in NYC. I cringed because, this past winter, our roof leaked AND our basement flooded. I love our home and the suburb we live in but sometimes being a homeowner makes me want to kill myself!

[Kelly]

Well, if you're willing to drive a bit closer to the PA border, there's a drive-in in Port Jervis, NY. About 80m from the center of NYC. I can give you pretty specific directions since it's relatively close to me ("just up the road" takes on new meaning in the sticks).

http://local.thedailystar.com/Fair+Oaks+Drive+In+Theater.327672.83113655.home.html

[Mick]

What a great idea for an indoor drive-in movie! My wife grew up in Europe and has always wanted to go to a drive-in. Since we're coming to NYC next month for vacation, maybe I'll take her to DRV-IN.

[Rose]

We have a drive in by me that does ALL the activities from the old days. Pony rides, 'character nights' even an all night marathon (usually happens in September)
It is Becky's Drive In up by Allentown PA (not that far away!).

Check out the website (I'm even on the newsletter distribution). WWW.BECKYSDRIVEIN.COM

[kittenpie]

I've always thought it has to be either right in the city or way in the country. To me, th suburbs have none of the benefits of either. Of course, it helps to live in a city where a 15 minute subway ride from the major hub, I can live in a house with a backyard, yet it's still urban. A slightly more relaxed version of city living that I'm loving.

[Hollie]

Hell, I'd live in a trailer park with that doctor. He's quite handsome. :)

[carosgram]

Now I live in upstate NY in a big house (arts & crafts style) on a school teacher salary. Yes, we have several choices of drive-in theaters around here. As a patron for more years than I care to think about there is an important quality to drive-ins that you appear to be unaware of. They are all built next to swamps. That means that when it is hot as hades out, the evening air is full of mosquitoes. They are an important part of the romance of the drive-in. You get to choose between sweating to death or being eaten alive. I think I'd like to try the indoor drive-in myself.

[mrsmogul]

Hey I was like you pe'shawing suburban life. I lived in midtown Manhattan for most of my life and no way am I going to commit malls! But alas, as I live currently in a town for my hubby's job it's actually nice to know there is no traffic no gross subways and crazy crime! So who knows...you might be swayed!

[DEUCE]

Last summer, my husband yelled at our neighbor's kids because they were riding their bikes on our lawn. The kids' father came over to yell at my DH for yelling at his kids. The dad was wearing a pink golf shirt and green pants. My husband saw the outfit and started laughing hysterically. It was right about then that he started talking about building a giant fence around our house.

Life in the suburbs. Ain't it grand?

[Backpacking Dad]

No, movies were meant to be seen with your daughter sleeping in her backpack on the multiplex seat next to you.

[leslie c.]

That indoor drive-in theater looks so romantic. What a great idea for a date night!

[croutonboy]

Truth comes out, buddy. How much you want to bet you'll be trimming the hedges and patching the stucco in anticipation of your big fancy friend (i.e. me) coming in from the city to visit you? Maybe we should start a pool to see who caves first...

[1969]

We compromised and when we left NYC....we settled here in the suburbs of Philadelphia. We still have a house and yard that's affordable but I am 15 minutes from downtown and can get there by public transportation if need be. I am still near Starbucks and good Sushi. It can be done MetroDad!!!!

[mrs. moffitt]

Never say never, MD! One minute, we were happily living in the west village with our daughter and cat. Next thing you know I'm pregnant with twins and we're forced to run out of the city faster than Spitzer left the governor's office.

Now, we're about halfway between NYC and Philly. It's definitely country here. We're surrounded by working farms. We love it much more than we ever expected.

Of course, that's easy for me to say. I don't have to commute 3 hours/day to get to work like the hubs does!

[Paige Jennifer]

Great, now I have a crush on Bosslady AND Metrodad.

For the record, there is a distinct difference between the suburbs and the country. Refer to the ponies reference in your post if you need some assistance. The closest I came to a horse in my suburban youth was My Little Pony.

[lemmon]

I have a crush on MetroDad, BossLady AND The Doctor!

[Mama Nabi]

I once thought I'd like to live on a hobby farm, growing my own food, changing after little piglets, feeding chickens in my knee-high galoshes... then I smelled a hobby farm and didn't quite like what I was smelling.

Ah, drive-ins. I think there's still one out here... I was thinking about taking LN to one some day.

BossLady KICKS ASS.

[Mom101]

Oh I love NYC. We call a storefront a drive-in, a rooftop on a school a playground, a strip of lawn in the middle of Central Park a meadow - which we treat like the beach.

By the way, you're lucky you missed the Bklyn Bridge Promenade easter egg hunt. Seriously lucky.

[Stacey]

I live in the country. We have some acreage & while we do not keep animals our neighbors do, so I see cows & horses out in the fields. We also have a barn. My house is only 1800sq ft but the roof is solid & it has no basement (it a ranch style),so I never worry about flooding. I have no boiler, I'm not sure what a boiler does. Something to do with heat? We have gas heat. We also have a well & had no idea what to do when suddenly we had no water. We called a plumber & he fixed it (for $1500). There is sushi, 45 minutes away. Nobody delivers anything out here, except UPS.
Come to the country my husband said, wide open spaces, lots of room for kids to play, clean air, no neighbors.
Restuarants I said, groceries, clothing, books, movies.
All less than an hour away he said.

[Genevieve]

There are still a couple drive-ins in my area (less than 90 miles from NYC). I pulled this for your from http://www.driveinmovie.com/PA.htm

Berlinsville, PA:
Becky's Drive-in (610-767-2249),
located on Route 248

It's s a popular old fashioned gem among traditional Drive-ins,
and much worth wandering the Blue Highways to find it. It is also Pennsylvania's second-oldest Drive-in, and is the oldest outdoor
cinema in America that has been in continuous operation under the same family ownership. William Beck's outdoor movies had
started out back in 1936 originally with sit-down benches and was then converted to a Drive-in movie by William Beck ten years later. Formally known at one point as the Route 45 Drive-in, the locals
inevitably would refer to it as Beck's Drive-in, or simply Becky's (and Old Route 45 in any case would later be renamed Route 248). William Beck is no longer around to greet movie-goers, but his
sons and daughters have kept the lights on all these years, and Mrs. Beck, at 81, still helps maintain the old fashioned flavor of
Becky's Drive-in by making the famous homemade chili they sell.

Orefield, PA: Shankweiler's Drive-in Theatre (610-481-0800)

Located on Route 309, at Shankweiler Road four miles north of Route 22 (from PA Trnpk., take Lehigh Valley exit; then 22E to Rte.309)

This is America's oldest continuously-operated Drive-in theatre— seasonally, since 1934. It has changed owners a number of times, but it has never gone dark. If planning a pilgrimage, then plan to arrive very early. This venerable venue for cinema al fresco parks less than 300 cars and often fills-up early, particularly on the weekends! They're Screening
double features; 7 nites in summer; on wknds April, May & Sept. Movie audio provided with FM (90.7) & AM (530) radio broadcasts.
Admission: $6.50 for ages 13&up, and $3 for children (ages 3-12).

[remy]

We live in the country too. It's such a great place to raise a family. Neighbors are friendly. The streets are safe. Everyone knows one another.

However, I'll admit that there are moments when I would kill for an espresso, a Whole Foods, and some ethnic food. This weekend, we drove almost an hour (one way!) because my husband was craving Chinese food.

[Holly]

I live in a small house in western NC that sits on 15 acres and has a stream going through the middle of the property. Heaven? You bet. However, there's something to be said for getting cell service at your house(which I don't), food delivery (which I can't), and trash pick-up (which I also don't).

Cheers to wanting the best of both worlds!