"I come from a home where gravy is a beverage."---Erma Bombeck
Me? I come from a home where nobody ever made dinner. They made reservations.
We joke that our entire family lacks the genetic ability to boil water but I'm not kidding when I say that, one Thanksgiving, my mother served us boiled turkey and stuffing. My father's idea of cooking can best be summed up by his signature dish, ghetto fried rice. Even the dog won't go near it.
The sad reality is that none of us are very good cooks. However, the ironic part is that we're all obsessed with food. Hence, our family memories surrounding food are quite unusual.
Those wonderful smells that conjure up childhood memories of your mother's homemade pot roast? The mental image of your family gathered around a giant feast whipped up by three generations of your family? The thrill of grandpa cooking up his famous five-alarm chili while grandma bakes homemade apple pies?
Yeah, I got none of that.
Our family's shared memories of food revolve around great meals we've had at restaurants together. Like when we discovered that little restaurant in Harlem that made the best Chinese dumplings. Or when, twenty years ago, we knew Tom Colicchio was destined for future greatness when we tried his braised rabbit. Then, there was that time in Italy when we said "screw the Sistine Chapel" because we found a place that made the world's greatest hot-pressed spinach and mozzarella paninis.
Friends of mine consider our family's dining habits to be weird. However, as a wise man once said, "it ain't weird if it's the only thing you know."
"In Mexico we have a word for sushi: bait."---José Simons
Of all the foods about which I'm passionate, sushi holds a special place in my heart.
I eat it at least 4 times per week. I love the quiet precision required to handle the fish. I love the subtle flavors. I love the artful presentation. And I love sitting at the sushi bar, drinking a few beers, and talking to the chef about his craft.
I've always had this fantasy of quitting my job and opening a tiny sushi restaurant in Manhattan with myself as the chef. The restaurant would only seat 8 people at a time and would allow me to create high-quality sushi in a serene and peaceful setting. It's a dream that I think about all the time.
Unfortunately, there's only one real sushi school in the United States and it's in California. Real sushi chefs apprentice for years in Japan under a master. Top sushi chefs have been known to spend several years learning solely how to properly prepare rice. Many don't even touch a knife until they've been apprenticing for at least five years.
I'm no spring chicken but, at the same time, better late than never. Don't be surprised if someday you come to this site and there's a post saying, "Sayonara! Gone fishing."
"There is no love sincerer than the love of food."---George Bernard Shaw
On the other hand, I know that a passion for food isn't enough. Hell, I've worked my ass off in enough restaurants in Manhattan to know how difficult it is to survive in the restaurant business. That's why I'm always amazed by chefs who are so passionate about their cooking that they couldn't imagine doing anything else.
Living in New York, I've been fortunate to hang out with a lot of these amazing chefs. During the summers, I've barbecued with Rocco DiSpirito at The Doctor's house. I've downed shots with Mario Batali. I've played hoops with Bobby Flay. And I've broken bread with Jean-Georges Vongrichten. They're all normal guys who just tend to be exceptionally passionate about what they do. I always love hearing what they have to say about food.
It's also why I'm hopelessly addicted to food shows on television. Between all the shows on the Food Network, BBC America's "Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares," and the Travel Channel's "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations," I find myself watching an enormous number of television shows that revolve around food.
How bad have things gotten for me?
Well, last night, I had a dream that Paula Deen was my best friend; Giada De Laurentiis was my second wife; Bourdain was my drinking buddy; Bobby Flay was my next-door neighbor; and Gordon Ramsay was my personal chef.
Thankfully, in my dreams, I still hated Rachel Ray.
"Life expectancy would grow enormously if vegetables smelled as good as bacon." ---Doug Larson
Two months ago, I had my annual physical. I discovered that I had abnormally high LDL cholesterol, blood pressure, and triglycerides. Now, I generally eat pretty healthily and I work out on a regular basis so it was pretty clear to my doctor that these are genetic traits. However, he's fairly conservative and doesn't like the idea of putting patients on statins (like Lipitor) unless it's a measure of last resort; his rationale is that once you're on them, you're on them for life.
Instead, he proposed that I work with a nutritionist and together we would conduct a three-month experiment to determine whether a change in diet could significantly improve my blood health.
I'm currently subsisting on a diet of egg whites, spinach salads, fish, almonds, whole-grain bread, flax seed, and steamed vegetables. I'm allowed to cheat off the diet for one meal a week. I know this sounds limiting but my cheat meal last week was General Tso's chicken wrapped in two slices of pizza.
In all seriousness, I feel great. Without even trying, I've lost 10 pounds. I've never crapped so well in my entire life. And I've discovered that jogging 5 miles while watching the Food Network doesn't make me want to kill myself.
My blood is getting tested again in two weeks but I don't know if I can hold out any longer. Today on the subway, I almost licked someone's face because she smelled like butter. Yesterday, I saw a short guy in the elevator wearing all brown and I thought he looked like the cutest piece of foie gras I'd ever seen.
I know this diet is healthier for me but this is really no way to live. In the grand scheme of things, I drive way too fucking fast to be worrying about my cholesterol.
"How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?"---Charles De Gaulle
Despite my love of food, I'm no food snob.
The French? Those cheese-eating surrender monkeys are food snobs. Every time I go to Paris, I end up getting in an argument over my belief that the only new contributions of French cuisine in the past 50 years have been Au Bon Pain and the Croissanwich.
Screw them!
As much as I love food, I hate eating pretentious food that has no personality behind it. Give me good old-fashioned American road food any day of the week. Serve me some ribs from Dreamland BBQ or The Salt Lick. Throw me a couple of lobster rolls from Red's Eats. Order me buffalo wings from The Anchor Bar. Or what about cheesesteaks from Gino's? Pizza from Grimaldis? Burgers from the Shake Shack? The curry chicken puffs from Yank Sing? The chili dogs from Pink's? The fried chicken from The Horny Toad?
Good Lord, is it any wonder my cholesterol is through the roof? Damn!
"We are the only culture that can stand in front of a microwave with a burrito in it and scream 'FASTER! FASTER!'"---Ross Brown.
Since BossLady works longer hours than I do, I pick the Peanut up from daycare every day. When it's warm out, we'll go to the playground for a few hours. Otherwise, we'll come home and read or play imaginary games together.
One activity that we like to do is make dinner together. When she was younger, I'd let her nuke things in the microwave. She would put some mac-and-cheese in the oven and I'd lift her up so she could press all the buttons. While it cooked, she would squeal with delight.
Now that she's almost 3.5-years-old and has a little more patience, I've been teaching her how to cook. We started off making some homemade tomato sauce. Then, we moved on to making sandwiches together. Now she even knows how to cook fish and steam vegetables.
However, I think I've created a monster.
Last week in daycare, the teachers cooked pasta with the class. My little 3-foot gourmand was so shocked that she felt compelled to tell the teachers that they were doing it all wrong! When I asked her what her teachers were doing wrong, the Peanut gave me a look of disgust and said, "Daddy, they put Ketchup on their noodles! Isn't that gross?"
Ladies and gentlemen, I now bring you the first in a recurring new series of videos called "How To Cook Like a Three-Year-Old." Today's lesson is "Pasta"
Cooking Pasta with the Peanut from Pierre Kim on Vimeo.
THE LAST SUPPER
Recently, I've been reading a slew of food-related books. In the past few weeks, I've finished Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential," Bill Buford's "Heat," and Michael Pollard's "In Defense of Food." Lately, I've just started reading "My Last Supper: 50 Great Chefs and Their Final Meals."
It's fascinating to read what 50 of the world's greatest living chefs would want to eat for their final meal on the planet. Laurent Tourondel wants nothing more than a BLT sandwich made in his own kitchen. Alain Ducasse would have a simple roasted quail in Madiran wine sauce, then smooth celeriac puree with nutmeg, and a finish with apple slices. Thomas Keller says he would begin with half a kilo of osetra caviar, followed by some otoro, a quesadilla and a roast chicken, Brie with truffles, and for dessert either profiteroles or a lemon tart.
Some chefs pick the food of their youth, the simple dishes that remind them not only of home but also of why they became chefs in the first place. Others are less sentimental and simply pick their favorite dishes from their favorite chefs. Everyone has a choice and it seems to verify the old adage that you can tell a lot about a person from what they eat.
Personally, I think my last meal on this planet would be a Peter Luger's porterhouse steak with sides of creamed spinach, bacon, and German-style potatoes. I'd finish with some Junior's cheesecake. And I'd wash it all down with a bottle of first-growth Bordeaux. I'm not quite sure what that says about me.
What about you? What would be your last meal on the planet? Give me all the juicy details.
Your family's eating habits sounds like my family's. My dad had a budget for eating out so we ended up eating out for dinner three to four times a week. We even ate out for Thanksgiving dinner a couple times.
As for a last meal, I'd probably be ok with hot wings with mashed potatoes and coleslaw from KFC. haha
Posted by: Seung | March 23, 2008 at 02:51 AM
omg dude you have the most adorable miniyou.
Posted by: denica | March 25, 2008 at 03:42 AM
Move over Giada, the Peanut's is coming. She's adorable!!
Our family is the opposite, my Mom is a great cook (I learn everything from her and the Food Network). I love Andrew Zimmern on the Travel Channel. The guy can eat camel penis or live snake heart but he can't stand durian. We saw this show last night featuring the best donuts, and "The Doughnut Plant" was featured, have you had a chance to taste their donuts? If so, are they that delicious?
After every meal, my hubbie always says "you should open a restaurant!" He's so nice that way or smart buttering me up. But the most satisfying testament is when your 3 y/o holds up her 2 thumbs and said (with her mouthful) "you're the best cooker mommy!"
My last meal would have to be 2 dozens of the freshest raw oysters for apps, then the juiciest rib-eyed steak boned in with string french fries, side order of saute spinach and mushrooms, but hold the dessert, bring me a glass of Taylor port instead. Ok, now I'm hungry.
Posted by: Waya | March 27, 2008 at 12:02 PM
I've been thinking of what it would be and I can't come up with a good answer. My mom is not a great cook, but what I do love from her line up is her Thanksgiving stuffing in the bird. It's Stove Top, but she adds Granny Smith apples, raisans and sausage. In the old days, my cousins and I would race to eat as much of it as we could. So that would be on the menu for sure.
Then, I would have to have this, straight from my copy of my menu at French Laundry (my wife took me for my birthday):
Poached Moulard Duck 'Foie Gras en Terrine", black Perigord Truffles and Friseee salad served with Toasted "Brioche" -- and I would need a server to bring my fresh, warm brioche every time I ate just one piece of what was on my plate ... oh man, what a great time.
After that, bring in Jaime Oliver and he can decide what to make, but we gotta make it together. Then my friends come over, we have great wine and stay up all night, drinking, eating and talking . . . then I pass away peacefully.
Can I get a phone call from Paula Dean?
Posted by: Jrock | April 06, 2008 at 08:19 PM
Hmmm...Had a really, REALLY bad exeirpence with sushi locally. Stunk so badly we couldn't even touch it. Rotten seaweed, anyone?So sushi tends to scare me. That, and the fact that I've been pregnant like 367 years of my life and I think sushi is on the list of forbidden foods during gestation.....But that sushi kinda looks good to me. If I ever met up with you in your Home State, and I wasn't preggo, I may be willing to try it!
Posted by: Joenna | July 04, 2012 at 12:17 PM
What a cool Idea!not sure -but Benihana477 Camino Del Rio SCompany Information: This long-standing restaurant makes your dinnig experience a theatrical event! It offers a culinary thrill as you watch the flying fingers of your tableside chef deftly chopping and cooking your food before your very eyes. The steaks are flavorful and tender, while the lobster is sweet and succulent. Guests may also enjoy fresh sushi at the contemporary sushi bar. Dinner entrees range from $16-36. Reservations are recommended.Hours of Operation: Lunch: 11:30am-2pm M-F, 1pm-3pm Sa-Su, Dinner: 5pm-10pm Su-Th, 5pm-11pm F-Sa
Posted by: Fiona | July 04, 2012 at 01:03 PM
Does anyone know of sushi cleasss in the Houston area?I am looking to attend a sushi making class in the Houston/Sugar Land area towards the end of February. If you know of any please let me know. I have already checked Sur la Table, Central Market, Leisure Learning, and Whole Foods.Thanks!
Posted by: Gabriel | July 04, 2012 at 02:07 PM
You are such an oaf. Why are you using ME to shovel these eleangt, chick pea-stuffed ravioli into your mouth? You, who professes to want an eleangt life? You who craves a graceful, lush life? I suppose I should have known the minute you poured this pasta meal into a cereal bowl a cereal bowl that there was no savoring to be had with this meal. You even went to the trouble of stopping at the nearby gourmet market to buy fresh and locally grown zucchini and a nice goat cheese. What is wrong with you? Sigh. What is my function tonight? To make sure you don’t injure your gums by accidentally stabbing them with the tine of a fork as you gobble this lovely meal, and to prevent you from spilling goat cheese/caper/tomato down the front of your fitted, Ann Taylor t-shirt so you don’t embarrass yourself later when you have to give an impromptu speech at a televised School Committee. Let the record show that I’m embarrassed for you because of your eating habits. And, I’m proud enough of my role in the silverware drawer to not let you down.
Posted by: Muhammed | July 04, 2012 at 05:33 PM
Sticky. The cheese wraps arnuod my flat blade and coagulates. Nowhere for it to go. Molten, it cools quickly and takes little bits of ham, bacon and spinach with it. Oh, the humanity.My friend the fork seems not to care. She lets her tines dash in and out of the meat. Then, in dainty stabs she picks up bite-size chunks of omelet and transports them into Jeff's mouth.I'm not appreciated. He tosses me aside and interacts passionately with the fork. I want to cut him. Badly.
Posted by: Thathix | July 04, 2012 at 07:03 PM
Sushi making clssaes in Cincinnati?I am wanting to take a class on sushi making. I live in the Cincinnati area and want to take them while i attend UC. Let me know if you know of any clssaes or schools.Thanks.
Posted by: Adriana | July 04, 2012 at 08:20 PM
Lets see, what worked for me was to exiscere at least 5 hours(* AN HOUR A DAY) i USUALLY DO 20 MIN CARDIO, WEIGHT, THEN LAST 25 MINUTES CARDIO I RUN) a week. Reduce your calories, and eat clean no mayonnaise, use light butter, exampleBREAKFAST VIP I usually eat oatmeal, some splenda a med banana, and glass of milk, OR TURKEY SAUSAGE, EGGS AND CHEESE OMLET, WHOLE WHEAT TOAST AND SLICED TOMATES OR CUCUMBERSlunch, turkey wrap with lots of veggies and cheese, and use mustard or a lite ranch dressing i like the south beach mediterrean wraps. Substitute bread with wraps, or eat whole wheat bread.Dinner Lean meat, large dinner salad, read the ingredients on your dressing anything over 6 grams of fat, stay away from and steamed veggies, brown rice is excellent and sweet potatoes, great for youThroughout the day I will drink a protein shake, lots of water with lemon and if i am hungry, i snack on carrots or celery, for a sweet craving- i will go grab a sugar free red bull or make a low fat high protein cookies and cream shake muscle milk bars are delicious. A subscription to Oxygen for women is a great guide. also, if you cant afford a trainer, go to the book store and find a book on body sculpting. You want to lose fat, then sculpt the muscle, then build if you want to get big. THE key is consistency is you are not consistent, NOTHING WILL WORK. GOOD LUCK.
Posted by: Vishal | July 06, 2012 at 06:11 AM
One more thing to father above: Where were the paernts in this, and why were young girls able to meet some random guy offline? Why are so many paernts absent in kids live today? These girls under 18 should not have been able to talk, or meet him. There is no hero in this, just bad paernts. The state of Oregon agrees that guys over 18 can not have sex with girls under, but how is it wrong on so many levels? Other states say 16 is the age of consent, and others say 14, which means in some states this guy didnt even commit a crime. I find people that regurgitate the same thing they hear on TV to be obnoxious, please stick to watching the news.
Posted by: Michael | July 06, 2012 at 10:05 AM