5 THINGS MY DAUGHTER HAS LICKED RECENTLY
1. The subway pole on the 2 Train
2. The sidewalk
3. The bottom of her sneakers
4. A random car tire
5. The entire left side of my face (while I was sleeping)
5 RECENT NON SEQUITURS FROM MY DAUGHTER'S MOUTH
1. "Can I have two ponytails for my monkey?"
2. "My feets have no stickers, Daddy!"
3. "The mousies are friends with the camels?"
4. "I eat your sneakers now!"
5. "I want donuts at Old McDonald's."
5 THINGS I TAUGHT MY DAUGHTER TO SAY FOR SHEER ENTERTAINMENT
1. "Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof!"
2. "Let's go, Mets!"
3. "Hit me on the flip side, yo."
4. "These are not the droids you're looking for."
5. "Yankees suck!"
5 CURRENT METRODAD OBSESSIONS
1. Breakfast burritos
2. The new Springsteen CD
3. "Gossip Girl"
4. Working out at 6:30 am
5. Macallan 16-year Scotch
5 THINGS I SAID IN ARKANSAS TODAY THAT MARKED ME AS AN "OUTSIDER"
1. "I'll have an egg white omelet with feta, tomato, and spinach."
2. "Who's Kasey Kahne?"
3. "My carbon footprint is extremely low."
4. "The suit? It's made by agnès b."
5. "Do you have any Macallan 16-year Scotch?"
5 RELATIVELY NEW "DADDY BLOGS" YOU SHOULD BE READING
1. Get That Out of Your Mouth!
2. The Daily Daddy Blog
3. Varsity Dad
4. Looky, Daddy
5. DadSmacker
A 5-PART BOOK MEME VIA NONLINEAR GIRL (slightly modified)
1. Total number of books owned? Over 1,000
2. Last book read? Falling Man: A Novel by Don DeLillo
3. Last book bought? The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
4. Most treasured book? A signed first-edition of Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
5. Book I wish I'd written? Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Next post: Holy shit, my 20-year high-school reunion!
I'm looking forward to reading the Diaz book. Have you read it yet, and if yes, did you like it? My Creative Writing teacher last semester introduced us to two of his short stories (from the collection called "Drown") and I loved one ("How to Date a black girl, white girl, halfie...") and disliked the other (the one about the guy with the wife/family back home in PR but gets married anyway in NYC). He's a fabulous writer. But I can't justify buying his book right now.. school isn't out yet (and there are two Jhumpa Lahiri books on the bookshelf that are just begging to be read...).
Kids say the darndest things, indeed! Just imagine what she tells people when you're not there...
Posted by: Fiona | October 20, 2007 at 01:37 AM
I've got the Diaz book on my (very long) list of things I want to read.
And I still love you, even with the Yankees suck thing.
C'mon over to my place and answer the James Lipton questions, 'k?
xo
pg
Posted by: panthergirl | October 20, 2007 at 09:03 AM
"My carbon footprint is extremely low."
If your eating burritos, that might not be entirely true
Posted by: creative-type dad | October 20, 2007 at 11:59 AM
Had to laugh at the 5 things that marked you as an outsider. The same would hold true here in Wisconsin.
As for the licking, good thing you didn't waste all that time sterlizing pacifiers and bottle nipples and sippy cups, eh?!
Posted by: momto3cubs | October 21, 2007 at 01:10 AM
metro dad,
isn't it macallan *15*? i'm looking at the bottles on my bar: MC 10,12, 15 and 18. the oban is so lonely - i should just put it out of its misery . . .
according to chris rock: better to lick the pole than to work/dance the pole . . . but ewwwww anyways.
Posted by: Angie in Texas | October 21, 2007 at 05:38 PM
Oh, c'mon, let's not flatter ourselves too much, City Man. Arkansas has heard of both Macallan and agnès b. There are these things called newspapers, and the Web, and they exist even in flyover land.
Posted by: Laura | October 21, 2007 at 09:18 PM
Everyone should be obsessing over the new Springsteen CD. It should be required listening.
Posted by: Kat | October 21, 2007 at 11:36 PM
its a pleasure coming and browsing thru ur blog...ur post are wht i wud like to call a walk in the park...refreshing, stimulating and one can never say whn u mite step on a dog poo...just wht life shud be like...love it...say hi to the lil one and boss lady
Posted by: tys | October 22, 2007 at 04:59 AM
Even your lazy posts are awesome!
Posted by: Joan | October 22, 2007 at 09:54 AM
Great Post. I highly recommend Oscar Wao, which is a stupendous work of art but not for everyone. Misery loves company so I am pairing Denis Johnson's Tree of Smoke and Enright's The Gathering. Any comments?
I don't know if I want to know what my beastie boys have licked...Some day I will have to come clean and admit that I licked someone's eyeball.
Posted by: jiveturkey | October 22, 2007 at 04:18 PM
You know, I was watching that book meme make its way around the internet and I was hoping you would do it. I still don't know how you have as much time to read as you do!
Posted by: alan | October 22, 2007 at 05:53 PM
Yo, what is it with eating the sidewalk, shoes, and various car parts that is so fascinating to toddlers? Dunno, but 3B is all about it too. No way to stop him, but I'm hoping the beard keeps him from slurping my face.
Posted by: Papa Bradstein | October 22, 2007 at 08:43 PM
you're working out at 6:30 and still obsessed with macallan's? so what kind of 'droids are you looking at? oh right, the mousies are friends with the camels. that's code. I get it. It all somehow means that you've lost it and started working out when you could be sleeping and...then you end up in AR. that's fucked up.
Posted by: momomax | October 22, 2007 at 11:52 PM
you should really try the macallan 21 year fine oak. if you're willing to go with something a little different, i've always revered balvenie's 21 year portwood to be the best.
Posted by: christine | October 25, 2007 at 02:43 PM
Thank you for the call out. I enjoy your writing. I also enjoy scotch and the bigfoot research network. Perhaps both a little too much.
Posted by: hoytabare | October 26, 2007 at 11:44 AM
This was such an amazing thing that you have posted. Very few dads know such small details and it feels good to see that in you.
I'm so glad I stopped by to read :)
Posted by: prats | October 29, 2007 at 09:09 AM
strangely addicted to gossip girl as well.. it's totally the new OC.. hoepfully they don't ruin the show and kill off marissa, i mean, serena.
Posted by: joanh | October 29, 2007 at 03:19 PM
Oh come on, you don't watch Nascar? I am shocked, really shocked.
Posted by: Jaime | October 31, 2007 at 02:07 PM
oh the things our kids lick.....or eat, my son came into our room once with a rust screw in his mouth!
Posted by: Jeremy | November 07, 2007 at 01:16 PM
I'm really impressed at your autographed Invisible Man; your blog and take on parenting parenting is equally impressive.
Just the right blend of storytelling and humor. Keep on writing.
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So the reason one puts ice into a scctoh is not only to chill it but to give it a little dilution. That water opens it up, it's like seeing a rose open up, but with your taste buds!! Frozen rocks can't give you that;)Michel
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