CHAOS THEORY: October 2007

No time for a real post. Too busy trying to figure out which new television shows I want to watch. Also, my All-Star team of physicians from Mt. Sinai has me on some medication that prevents me from drinking alcohol for two weeks. I don't know if it's the pills or the lack of booze but I think I'm developing adult-onset ADD.

Anyway, here's some mental diarrhea that needs to be purged before I plunge further into JWBSW (Johnnie Walker Black Scotch Withdrawal)
.

MY KINGDOM FOR A COCKTAIL

Speaking of booze, the fact that I'm not drinking these days has got me contemplating the state of my own sobriety. Personally, I think there's a pretty wide line between enjoying a good cocktail and full-blown alcoholism. For example, although I like having a nightly glass of scotch, I've yet to ask the waitress at Denny's what wine comes with the Grand Slam breakfast. Good for me, right?

Now I don't know whether alcoholism is caused by genetic predisposition or not. However, I'm slightly uncomfortable calling it a disease. I empathize with those who struggle with addiction but, in my opinion, cancer is a disease. Alcoholism is self-induced. Think about it. Do you really feel bad for alcoholics who can go to 7-11, buy a case of Bud, and feed their disease?  As Dennis Miller once said, it's not like lymphoma victims are going around chugging ice cold cans of cancer juice, right?

The only thing I have against drinking is when drunks get behind the wheel of an automobile. It fucking infuriates me that celebrities like Kiefer Sutherland, Nick Nolte or Lindsay Lohan continue to get pulled over for drunk driving so frequently. Did you know that, nationwide, drunk drivers kill an innocent person every 25 minutes? More than 5,000 children each year are killed by drunk drivers. As a parent, this scares the shit out of me. What the fuck is it going to take for these people to wake up?

Sorry for the rant. That concludes today's public service announcement.

YOU WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR CHILD, WON'T YOU?

I like to think it's a given that we all make hard sacrifices for our children. Sometimes that sacrifice is measured by donating a kidney or taking a bullet: other times, it's by the fact that you're working two jobs in order to raise them in a safe neighborhood. I think most of us who believe in the inherent goodness of mankind understand these sacrifices.

However, before you become a parent, nobody ever tells you the other things that you will do for your children simply because you love them more than anything else. 

As a little kid, I always thought I'd spend my days as an international spy. At night, I'd drive my Aston Martin to Monte Carlo for friendly games of high-stakes baccarat.

Never in a million years did I ever imagine that I'd end up spending my nights patiently allowing my daughter to put dozens of pink hairpins in my luxuriant black hair while petting me on the head and loudly exclaiming, "Daddy, you're soooo pretty!"

Nor did I ever imagine getting completely sick because I tap danced down West Broadway in a torrential downpour while twirling my umbrella and singing, "Singing in the Rain" --- solely because the Peanut kept yelling, "sing the rain song, Daddy! Sing it NOW!"

Man, I'll do anything for that little munchkin. 

NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

After my last post, a reader e-mailed me inquiring whether BossLady and I had ever thought about sending the Peanut out on auditions so she could get into "entertainment."

Personally, I think it's hard enough to have a normal childhood without being exposed to something as numbingly vapid as show business. I've always believed that entertainment lures the type of people who didn't get enough attention early in life and have grown up to become bottomless vessels of abject need. Ever spend time with a bunch of actors and actresses? For the most part, they're a very insecure lot yet they all have that "LOOK AT ME NOW" component wired into their personalities.

Look, I think my kid is absolutely adorable. However, I also like to think that ALL parents think their kids are adorable. But that doesn't make them actors; it just makes us parents. If you honestly think one kid is that much cuter than any other, you're missing the point. All kids are cute. There is no such thing as a kid who isn't cute. The trick in parenting is to make sure your kids are still cute when they become adults. 

And the best way to guarantee that is to keep them the fuck out of show business.

TODDLER BIRTHDAY PARTIES

Three-year-old kids are really cute but they're really fucking dumb. A few weeks ago, I sat Peanut down with a bag of Oreos and asked her whether she wanted a birthday party or a cookie. Naturally, she chose the cookie.

Hah! Who's smarter than a toddler?  That's right, baby. THIS guy!

In case you didn't know, toddler birthday parties in Manhattan can easily cost several thousand dollars. What does that get you? Three hours of playtime in an indoor facility, some out-of-work actors singing songs in costume, a couple of cold pizzas, and a birthday cake.

Now, I love my kid more than anything but the day I spend that kind of money on a birthday party is the day that I start lighting my cigarettes with $100 bills while snorting lines of beluga caviar in my private jet. It ain't ever going to happen, my friends.

Instead, we celebrated Peanut's birthday by having an awesome family day at the Central Park Zoo with the grandparents. Peanut had the time of her life and won't stop talking about it. Total cost: $28.00.  Boo yah!

THE DOG DAYS OF BEING A DOG

I'm not sure whether it's fair to have a dog after you have a kid. Before Peanut was born, MetroDog was our little baby. We'd celebrate his birthdays with special doggie cake. We'd take him on vacations around the world. We'd have him bathed and groomed on a monthly basis. And, naturally, he was always sporting a fresh look because BossLady loved buying clothes for him. 

Now MetroDog is like a red-headed step-child with tuberculosis. The poor dude only gets a fraction of the attention that he used to. He doesn't go on playdates with other dogs. He's constantly being chased around the apartment by Peanut and her friends.  And he hasn't had a bath in so long that he's emitting a smell which I can't begin to describe except to say, imagine if Glade made an air freshener in a fragrance called Ass.

To make matters worse, BossLady and I realized that we forgot his 6th birthday a few weeks ago. Happy belated birthday, my canine friend. We're so sorry and we promise to make it up to you. After all, you are the coolest dog in downtown Manhattan.   

SEX IN THE CITY

My brilliantly talented younger brother, MetroBro, is single. So naturally, as married people, BossLady and I love hearing his stories about dating in Manhattan. Yesterday, I received an e-mail from him that I feel compelled to share with all of you. If you're not of Asian descent, you may or may not find it as hilarious as I do. Anyway, here it is...

I realized something funny the other day as I was browsing through Match.com profiles. I kept on seeing a ton of girls who listed "Native American" as one of their preferences -- very often paired with "White/Caucasian."

This struck me as odd for two reasons. One, there are so few honest-to-god indians in NYC -- probably fewer than the number of girls looking for them on Match -- so how strange is it that so many girls seemed to want this? Two, to the extent that there are girls out there with a taste for some Apache action, isn't it weird that so many of them were also looking for white guys? Wouldn't girls looking for Native American guys be likely to be more multi-culti in their other preferences, i.e., if you like red, wouldn't you also be looking for black, brown, and yellow?

Then I noticed that a lot of the girls looking for Native Americans were FOBs -- not just Asians, but immigrants from all over: Europe, the Carribean, Latin America, etc.

That's when I suddenly realized that p.c. terminology doesn't travel internationally and that in all likelihood these girls think "Native American" means "someone who was born in the U.S."!

LMAAAO* at the thought of all these newly-arrived women opening their mailboxes and wondering why they keep on getting emails from dudes with Match screen names like "lightfoot75" and "woundedkneenyc."

*laughing my Asian American ass off

See why he's my brother?

DOING WELL BY DOING GOOD

Most of you parents with autistic children are likely very familiar with Cure Autism Now (CAN.) For those of you who are not, CAN is an amazing organization of parents, clinicians and leading scientists who are committed to accelerating the pace of biomedical research in autism through raising money for research projects, education and outreach. Founded by parents of children with autism in 1995, they've grown from a kitchen-table effort to the largest provider of support for autism research and resources in the entire world.

Even before I got married and had a child, I often donated money to CAN and attended several of their NYC events. They're a great organization and if anybody is ever going to find a cure for autism, it will no doubt be partly due to the tireless, ongoing efforts of CAN.

Now for a slight digression...

Most long-time readers know that, when it comes to this site, I tend to shy away from self-promotion. Over the past few years, this blog has received a lot of press in various newspapers and publications. However, I rarely ever mention any of this because I don't write this blog to bring attention to myself. I write here simply because it's a place for me to share my thoughts and engage with a great community of people. Shit, I'm no writer. I'm just a regular guy with a little extra time on his hands.   

Now, I totally get the fact that there are a lot of bloggers out there who have different motives for their own sites.  That's cool but it's not really my cup of tea. For the most part, I find that type of blogging can be somewhat of a whore's business and nothing turns me off a site faster than blatant self-promotion. Sometimes I look around and I see more chest pounding going on than a 24-hour marathon of "ER."

That being said, I'm going to break my personal embargo on self-promotion because it's for a good cause.

In a strange turn of events, CAN is having their annual Los Angeles celebrity fundraiser, Acts of Love 2007, next week. Acts of Love 2007 is a one-night only celebration of children in the words of those that love them, with inspiring celebrity readings and musical performances to raise money for autism. Last year, this one night alone raised more than $200,000 for autism research! 

Anyway, it turns out that a producer for the benefit is a fan of my blog and asked me whether they could use some of my posts for the celebrity reading. Naturally, I agreed and said they were free to use anything they wanted. As it turns out, two of my pieces were selected and will be read at next week's benefit by Jason Alexander and Catherine O'Hara. Cool, eh? 

So for any of you in the Los Angeles area who might be interested in attending the benefit, you can buy tickets here. It's next Monday (October 15) and will take place at the Geffen Playhouse. I've attended several of their NYC benefits in the past and they're always a lot of fun.

If you can't attend, you can always make a donation or get involved with CAN so you can continue to help them fight the good fight.

 

 

Comments

[Rachel E.]

What is a writer? Someone who writes - writes what he knows about and writes it well. YOU'RE a writer. Wear it proud.

Kudos on the CAN nod. I'm sure your pieces will add a great deal to the evening. I've heard they do great work.

[Wayne Barr]

Never in a million years did I ever imagine that I'd end up spending my nights patiently allowing my daughter to put dozens of pink hairpins in my luxuriant black hair while petting me on the head and loudly exclaiming, "Daddy, you're soooo pretty!"

Did you read the article in Time magazine that wonders if you're less of a man for doing things like this? Do you ever worry about your masculinity and testosterone levels while engaged in such activity with your daughter?

Yeah, me neither. But I guess the writers at Time think it's important to explore this topic.

Thanks for bringing a good cause to my attention.

[Jen B.]

I love these Chaos Theory posts. This one was one of my favorites. That's so cool that those celebs are reading your writing for the CAN benefit. I think that proves that you ARE a real writer, MD.

[Justin]

The MetroBro section is hysterical as I have the voice of one of my single DC friends that could easily have written that down from his own personal experience.

Good luck on your JWBSW! Supplement with Green or Gold? (Not Blue, that's just way to much) :D

[Jess]

I guess my feeling on alcoholism or addiction in general is a disease is that it's more of a mental/psychological disease like schizophrenia than it is a physical disease like cancer. And some people do feed themselves cancer "juice" by doing things like lying out in the sun all day without sunscreen. The link just isn't quite as direct.

[Mikeymike]

I thought it read you were driving your Aston Martin OR your Monte Carlo. Now I'm imagining you as Denzel in training day, or in a wifebeater and chinos in East LA.

Koreans are predisposed to alcoholism, by the way. Why might you ask? Because we're Korean, that's why. We need to drown our collective historical sorrow and shame in something.

Tell your brother to stay away from FOBs. But I'm sure he knows that now.

[B. Roberts]

I feel your pain, MD. Last night, my daughter put my hair in pony tails and asked if she could put makeup on me. I said yes to the former but no to the latter.

A dad has to have his limits.

[Helene]

Does MetroBro ever make it out to Montreal? He totally sounds like my kind of guy.

[Adele Richards]

You are one of the best writers I read (and I read a lot). So boo yah to that. Also, you still have some pink ribbon in your hair - you are SO pretty.

I am so vicariously excited that you are getting read by Jason Alexander. I know he's an actor (LOOK AT ME) and all...but man, if I had something read by him....I'd start an entire chest-thumping blog just to go on about it for all eternity.

Stupidly excited on your behalf.

[nonlineargirl]

I knew there was a good reason to keep my girl away from musicals!

[SMG]

I knew kid's birthday parties in Manhattan were expensive but I had no how expensive until last month. My niece had a little bowling party at Chelsea Piers with a bunch of her friends and their parents. My brother told me it cost him over $1,000!

Almost makes me want to stay single.

[kittenpie]

Um, yeah. A teacher friend of mine had a child actor in her grade 1 class who broke into hysterics if she got a scratch on her face. She knew it was important to get those auditions and thought it might hurt her chance. Talk about horrible pressure to put on your kid.

[Stef]

Bwahaha! That photo of MetroDog is hilarious. He really is the coolest dog in town.

[Anne Glamore]

LMSSAO
(Laughing My Southern Suburban Ass Off) at your brother and the ladies getting the bigaxe85 emails.

CONGRATS! on the LA thing and BRAVO for your cause. We all have our diseases to support and it can be hard to pick one. And that's a great way to use your fame.

MetroDog is at least getting better scraps now, right?

[RA]

A few, rambly thoughts:

1) Congrats on the CAN benefit! I'm curious which posts they've chosen; can you tell us, or does that defeat the whole purpose of the ticket-buying?

2) That picture of MetroDog is awesome.

3) As much as I wholeheartedly agree with your decision to keep the Peanut away from show business, we need more Asian representation! One of my former co-workers interrupted me mid-sentence, within 30 seconds of meeting me, to ask if anyone had ever told me that I look like Lucy Liu. And I looked blankly at him and said no. Because I don't. Because not all Asian people look the same, YOU FREAKING IMBECILE. (He then commenced to call me Lucy Liu for the rest of the workday and happy hour later, but that's a different issue. I no longer work there.) But then, I know that Asian actors are not exactly able to get a wide spread of roles, so what can you do? At least the Peanut has a bright future as a stylist, right?

[b*babbler]

Your brother is one funny dude. This is excellent!

[Angie in Texas]

i know an adult who was a child actor and lemme tell you - S.A.D.

you *do* have the collest dog in manhattan.

metrobro is funny!

have you painted the peanut's toenails yet?

[Angie in Texas]

coolest . . . i meant COOLEST

[Julie]

@RA: Hey, I'd take Lucy Liu any day! I get Margaret Cho. All. the. time.

[christina]

I hear you on the toddler birthday party thing. Seeing that mine will be soon I've been looking at whether we will have party or not and how large. We finally opted to do a small family gathering. The way I see it is that she'll look back at pics and see herself in front of a sweet confection of some sort blowing out a few candles. Beyond that she won't remember whether Jane X and Julie X and John X came or not. She'll just remember what the photo says. Has Peanut really given up her afternoon naps? My kiddo is on that precipice and we're so not ready for it.

I'm really sorry for the long comment but I had to share this after reading your brother's very funny email. The response is on the bottom. I deleted the guys name.

THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST the other day:

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York . I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at

least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could

you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married

to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead

gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial
interests Craig's List PostingID:

THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring

my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset . Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in

earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense

to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful "

as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump." I hope this is helpful, and if you want to
enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

____________
J.P.Morgan
Diversified Industrials Investment Banking
277 Park Avenue , 16/F, New York, NY 10172
--------------------------------------------------------

[BOSSY]

Fer chrissake, man - these long funny posts are putting the rest of us to shame.

[Whit]

Good stuff as usual, but all I can think of is two weeks! Hold on, brother!

[mrsclutch]

delurking to tell you how much i love your blog, and to wish metrodog a happy belated birthday! my frenchie just turned 10. :)

[Janet]

It's nice to see that funny runs in the family. MetroBro is pretty funny in his own right!

[Hygiene Dad]

Dude, I can totally take over on the Singing in the Rain part. My people live for musicals. Next time I'm in the city, put me in the streets with that umbrella.

And one note on the genetic predisposition; it true. We have 18 in our family including me. :)

[momomax]

that is so cool about l.a.

I hate hanging out with actors, but not so much because of the *lookatme* thing. they just make me sound like a neanderthal who can barely string together a sentence while they're belting out a high c.

how old is the bro and does he like really crazy women?

um, that was a longass post. I forgot what I was going to say about all the other funny stuff.

[Navi]

I will not donate to Cure Autism Now, because I don't want to Cure my son't autism. Treat it, yes. Cure it, no. A lot of these groups are anti vaccine, a lot of parents are getting scared into not vaccinating their children because of them. Now I don't say that maybe the vaccine didn't cause some kids autism. I'm pretty sure it didn't cause mine though. and as a parent of a low functioning autistic child I would rather have an autistic child than one with a deadly disease. I also don't like the fact that many behind these programs are so militant behind their beliefs that they refute and bend scientific evidence. They do a lot of good, but they do a lot that also offends many of those in the autism community who can speak for themselves.

[sp]

which pieces will they be reading?

[misfithausfaru]

Your post was great fun to read. We are in the midst of planning a 5 year old's birthday party. I'll be pleased to spend less than $150. In your spare time, what shows are you watching?

[BD]

I know what you mean about all the blatant self-promotion. It's a turn-off for me too. I also hate all these dumb blog popularity contests and it drives me nuts to see people pimping themselves for people to vote for them. It's like junior high class elections all over again.

[Holmes]

Holy...where to start with the commenting glory. My first thought was, "they have Denny's in New York?!" For some reason that surprised me. I guess I assumed you guys had cool diners right out of great paintings like "Nighthawks."

Oh, and I hate to tell you man, but there are in fact kids that aren't cute. Check it out: http://tinyurl.com/2ztcwk

I'm shocked to hear that you're not already lighting your Cubans with Benjamins on your private jet. There goes my whole image.

It's nice to know that even as a white guy, I can be considered native-American in some circles.

And finally, big congrats on the CAN reading. Kickass!

[Jackson]

Just because you don't write for a living doesn't mean you're not a writer. I'm one by trade so I happen to know my fair share of professional writers. You're far more talented than most of them.

[Phoenix]

I'll tell you MD, next time you're feeling like you are too busy to post, a video of you tap dancing and singing in the rain, will suffice. I believe it would show us all your....ok, never mind, I'd laugh my ass off.

I feel for MetroBro, being a single women isn't much easier that being a single man. Internet dating is horrific.

I think it's awesome that your posts will be read at the CAN fundraiser. You are a writer, at least in my eyes.

[Mark]

Do the pink hairpins get in the way of the Rogaine therapy?

[Catherine]

I have a sister who MetroBro might be like. She's 28, smart, funny, and hot. Does he ever make it out to Los Angeles?

[Waya]

100% agree with you on the alcohol not being a disease. For me, it's obesity not being a disease. I think it's really a nutritional choice,it seems you can "super size" anything these days. I mean look around the world today, it seems that we (the U.S.) is so obese compares to our counterpart.

Speaking of Autism cause, I just donated to a friend who's doing a walk for "Autism Speaks" in NY, not sure if you're aware of that or not.

And as for your writing, I think you are very talented even if you don't think you are. I look forward to your new post every week. Keep it up Pierre!

[Jenny]

I would say the addiction to alcohol is a disease and I was gonna say about CAN that not every person with autism is really severe. That said, I'm not sure about Navi's claim about them being anti-vaccine

[Christine]

you're hilarious.
peanut is precious.
your dog is too cute. does he have breathing problems?

[Mom101]

That Acts of Love thing is SUPER cool and only made cooler by the fact that you're a part of it now. Huge congrats. You must be honored.

And I totally love you (as always) for how you spent Peanut's birthday. I think when 3 year old parties are the new sweet 16s, no wonder sweet 16s are the new Caligula orgies.

[Eris]

Your brother is hilarious, and probably totally right.

Congratulations on the readings! I wish I were in LA!

[Stacy]

Which posts?

[landismom]

Hey, for that one, it's not self-promotion. It is, however, really cool! Good work, MD.

[austie]

Your brother is hilarious, MD. I laughed out loud when I read "lightfoot75" and "woundedkneenyc."

[IHF]

The CAN readings thing is awsome. To continue the echo in here, which posts are going to be read? Please do share with the class.

Having sent this post on to The Husband, I expect to find a newly purchased bag of Oreos and similar negotiation tactics at work in our house soon.

Also, as a Theater Major, I resemble resent your LOOK AT ME NOW! theorem. Bah, humbug.

[Mama Nabi]

George Kostanza is going to read one of your posts? Damn, I wish I could be there for it.
Aw... poor Metro-puppy.... happy belated birthday, pooch!
Metrobro is freaking funny... and he's single? How did that happen?
Sigh, yes, I, too, will make a fool out of myself for LN anyday... not that you singing in the rain is silly in ANY WAY. I think for LN's 3rd birthday party, I'm going to do something for HER, not something that PN's friends would enjoy... coz that's getting old. You guys had the right idea.

[Jrock]

MD - You never stop making me a huge fan of yours. Autism, my nephew is on the spectrum, thanks for your contribution. Being a cool dad, letting me know that being a cool dad is totally possible, when that role comes to me, reduces some of the anxiety around having a child. But right now, I just have to say thanks for this:"Now, I love my kid more than anything but the day I spend that kind of money on a birthday party. . .It ain't ever going to happen, my friends." My best friend spent thousands on his son's first birthday party. Moon bounce in the backyard and all. Why? I don't know. It doesn't make sense to me at all. I get the sense that you all are doing OK for yourselves financially, and yet you still have the sense to not spend a fortune just because everyone else does. Thanks again! Good luck with the withdrawl.

[Audubon Ron]

I’m hurling beets. Brag, brag, brag…

[Prufrock]

You're just a regular guy and not a writer? Dude, you're one of the best writers out there. Congrats on the CAN thing. How cool is that?

[Molly B.]

Just scanning through quickly, only read the part by your brother -

am not Asian, but OMG. I'm laughing harder than I have in aeons. He's a guy you could drink with.