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August 24, 2007

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J.P.

Brilliant, MD! Sorry about the loss of the daytime nap. Makes for a long day, doesn't it?

dysha

amen.

the mad momma

May their souls rest in peace. i doubt you will get any peace with the passing of the nap though. *shudder*. scary thought, that.

grant

i only wish that white appropriation of black (and other "ethnic") cultures really was dead.
sadly, i'm afraid it will live on.

nice post tho. really enjoyed it.

A.Tsai

We have the same Asian doll as you do. I had no idea that the doll was named Yang. I can't decide if I'm a little offended by that.

Jonathon Morgan

Edan stoped napping about, too -- about a month ago. Now she's INSANE in the afternoons, which is fun for me. Then I drop her off at mom's for dinner and let her deal with any exhausted toddler meltdowns. SCORE!

hello insomnia

Rest in peace, daytime nap. We hardly knew ye.

whit

You may want to have an autopsy ran on that doll, I have a hunch it may have been lead poisoning.

halfmama

The nap has been resuscitated plenty of times in our house. This is how you do it: "You don't have to sleep; you just have to rest. It's quiet time."

Lo and behold, Nap comes back from the dead. Try it. It might come back stilted and disjointed, like it was buried at Pet Sematary, but 'tis better than nothing.

KT

Sounds like it's time to institute "quiet time" - wherein you lock your child in a bedroom for 1 hour with a stack of books. The rules are you don't have to go to sleep but under no circumstances are you to make a peep. Sadly that rhymes.

merseydotes

MetroDad, you are wicked funny. Sorry to hear about the nap and the bagel.

At least you have the Mets.

Diane

An addition:

Bladder Control, 34, Dies

After years of extreme abuse, bladder control final expired on August 24 after reading the last section of this blog post.

Bladder Control will be interred with Upholstered Office Chair, which expired moments after Bladder Control.

Missy

How do you come up with this stuff, MD? It's freaking hilarious!

Matthew

My condolences on the loss of so much in so little time.

Orale, vato.

Janice

We watched that episode of "America's Got Talent" too. My DH used to play in a reggae band and when he heard Jerry Springer call "Red, Red Wine" the greatest song in the history of reggae music, I think I saw steam come out his ears. He's now forbidden me from ever watching the show again!

pnuts mama

my deepest condolences on the loss of your daily bagel- that is killer, man. and lox and CC is my spread of choice as well. c'mon, all those omega 3s in the salmon, that is SOOOO good for your heart! what do they know at Mt Sinai anyway.

and i am certain that the day my daughters nap dies is the day that i, too, shall take the dirt nap. what do people w/ 2 and 3 kids do? xanax?

Norma

Grim post today.

Papa Bradstein

Sad about the nap. And the other things, except the ones that aren't sad.

I'm still awaiting the death of all the unfortunate animations--viruses, toenail fungi, lumps of mucus--that were inspired by Finding Nemo (or the constantly plummeting cost of CGI).

Just because you can animate phlegm doesn't mean that you should.

Kate

Dude! White Appropriation of Black Culture lives on in me, whether I mean to or not... I can't help it.
I'm an uber white bread chick (the only one in my office) working at an historically black college in NC.
Oh, and my married last name is...

Wiggers.

You just can't make up shit like this. I am "appropriating" whether I like it or not.

dianayang

just another stalker who loooves all your posts. never quit, at least not until i find a new job!

Baun

Holy shit, how'd you pick out Hoffman Estates, IL out of all the suburbs? I'm just curious, cuz I live just 2 towns over. You're totally spot on of course!

Hilarious post, as usual. I think White Appropriation of Black Culture is also survived by White Actresses Playing Expert Martial Artists (e.g. Jennifer Garner in Elektra)

Alice

Let's not leave out "Non-Asiam Women Wearing Cheongsams and Putting Chopsticks in Their Hair."

Helen B.

Is thar early or late for the afternoon nap to die? My son is the same age as the Peanut. If he ends his afternoon nap anytime soon, I'm TOAST!

1969

My condolences upon your losses. Where do I send the flowers and bundt cake?

Holmes

White Appropriation of Black Culture is also survived by Computer Programmers Singing Ultra-violent Gangsta Rap While Sitting In Traffic In Their Hondas With All The Doors Locked.

This post was fucking hilarious.

Kemp

There are words that I never thought I would see in the same sentence; 'UB40' and 'greatest reggae song of all time'. Paging Dr. Marley, Dr. Bob Marley...

Condolences on the passings. FYI; the nap thing might come back. It did for mine for a while.

kittenpie

And possibly my head on the chopping block after I just called a teen an ass in the library... oops.

But the nap? Might come back. We have periods of a few days that are rough, but they have always come back.

Mama Nabi

Ah, I did see the death of WAoBC... cringe, cringe - was far more creepy than any cracked open chests on CSI's autopsy tables.
RIP - afternoon nap. Ours is slowly dying also.
Death of father's patience - wow, that old geezer was still hanging on? Talk about tenacious... I think ours died at 20 months. Yep, leaves no survivors.

enygma

Father's Patience is only out for a bit. It'll resuscitate shortly. I'm 26 and my father's patience is still amazingly intact.

mortimersmom

Fear not, Nap ressucitates quite often. Even at 4 1/5 going on 5, Fridays tend to be quite fertile for naps....

KC

This post rocks.

I'm mourning the loss of your bagel the most. That's just a damn shame.

landismom

Oh, MD, I'm so sorry for your loss. That nap time really went young, didn't it?

bangoo

There seems to be alot of condolences for the death of the 3 year old daytime nap, which I myself will mourn privately. You've negelected to mention passing of the pre-work nap, that most people experience in thier transition from college to the workforce. This nap, mid-afternoon sandwiched between watercanon and canon bongs....were some of the most satisfying. And for those reading this in the workforce now.....Who wants a nap?

love this post!

cry it out!

No naps. No bagels. Where do you want flowers sent? In whose name? Lord I feel for your. I do.

alexthegirl

Try telling the kid I saw at the local fair with his "hood" clothes that White Appropriation of Black Culture is already dead and buried. I think he missed the funeral.

Jenny

Aww poor kid. I hope she recovers from her loss soon. :(

Julie

Wow! Lots off things died this week! Hopefully you'll have a week of reincarnation next week.

samantha jo campen

My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

Chief Family Officer

Thanks for laughs and condolences on the loss of the nap. May I suggest that you adopt Quiet Time to fill the hole in your heart? In a darkened room, she can rest her body or play with quiet toys like books or a few dolls.

Angie in Texas

sorry to hear about the nap. but on the upside: once peanut gets used to it, she'll start going to bed a little earlier . . . that means more adult night time (for laundry, blogging, reading, tv in peace, etc, etc)

i am sorry to hear about the bagel, too. i'd die if i couldn't have my breakfast taco in the mornings. (*i'll have a lox and CC just for ya at brunch tomorrow . . . )

in lieu of flowers, should we be making donations to the "fans of office space" or "friends of bob marley" foundations?

Leora

What a coincidence! Mother's Patience passed away earlier this week also. It happened when she came home to see that her two kids had finger painted the dining room wallpaper.

momomax

my husband is now obsessed with all things related to white appropriation of black culture.

amazingly funny post.

Kvetch

Summer Diet, dead at 43. Will be reincarnated as Fall Diet, thankfully, right after Labor Day.

:-)

Mickysolo

Bialys have no sugar and about half the weight of a bagel. You can scoop them similarly to a bagel. I gave up my daily about a year ago with positive results.

Mom101

Wait, white appropriation of black culture was only 82? I swear I thought it was like 200 at least. Must have been all that hard living.

zoe Haruyama

this was one of your best posts. ever. A lot of blogger clowns out there getting book deals...you deserve one more than any of them!

Glennia

Condolences to you and BossLady on the loss of the nap. That's a hard one. Ours went at 2 and I've never been the same since.

Phoenix

Poor, poor daily bagel. That is so sad.

The nap too. Harsh, I know. The first few months are hard, but then she should get used to it and not be such a spastic crabby tantrum throwing fool. Or maybe that's just the way my niece has taken to non-napping. You'd think they'd go with it as long as they could. Silly pre-schoolers, they have no idea how good they have it.

R2Dad

glad to see you're back in the groove--thought you'd gone off the tracks with that Justin Timberlake post!

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