Back In The Big Apple

BossLady and I had a fantastic time in the Pacific Northwest. What's not to like?  Clean air, beautiful scenery, and fantastic food.  Unfortunately, the weather is about as stable as Lindsay Lohan on a 3-day bender.  So while we did get plenty of sun, the temperature never cracked 70 and it rained practically every single day.

But really, Seattle and Orcas Island were fantastic. BossLady and I can't get over how nice everyone was.  So many people went above and beyond the call of duty to help us out, it was amazing.  Special props to my new friend Noel, the sommelier at Wild Ginger, who, after a brief conversation with me, not only went back to his office for an hour and typed out a personalized list of amazing wines he thought I would enjoy but also gave me instructions on which wine store I could find each one of them AND provided detailed driving directions from my hotel.  That shit would NEVER happen in New York!

Anyway, in exchange for your incredible kindness and warm hospitality, I now offer all of you Pacific Northwesterners my unexpurgated professional fashion advice:

(1) There's a reason that nobody designs polar fleece tuxedos or evening dresses.  As comforting as polar fleece may be, it really isn't appropriate attire for weddings or more formal gatherings. For that matter, neither are Crocs (in fact, there's really never an appropriate time to wear Crocs!)

(2) The only time a man should EVER wear a green blazer is when he has just won the Masters at Augusta.

(3) Unless you actually ARE a Hare Krishna, there's absolutely no need to dress like one.  (Apologies to the gentleman in whose coffee cup I dropped a few quarters. My bad, dude! I thought I was just being generous.)

(4) Personally, I use deodorant and wear a little cologne. You want to be different and use patchouli as a fragrance?  Cool. Be my guest. Just remember that the stuff should be used sparingly, like saffron in a fucking paella.

(5) If you're going to get a tattoo, go to a professional.  What's up with all the bad tattoos, Seattle?  Some of them were like stick-figure cartoons.  I thought maybe some pre-schoolers had opened up their own ink studio.   

(6) Corduroy should never be worn between Memorial Day and Labor Day.

(7) Men in kilts?  Wrong on so many levels.  Especially if you're not Scottish and you live in a city that has rain 360 days out of the year.  Clearly, any man who wears a kilt is beyond listening to my fashion advice.  You go, girl!

Now, I'm not saying I'm the arbiter of good taste.  However, I do work in fashion and although it's hard to believe, people actually do pay me good money for my opinions.  So let's just consider this a freebie for all your kindhearted generosity. 

Rock on, Washingtonians!

In other news...I have to say that one of the best parts of the trip was coming home to the Peanut.  BossLady and I missed her terribly while we were gone.  The hugs and kisses that we got from her upon our return almost made up for all of it.  I've had a lot of great experiences in my life but there seriously might not be a better one than having your little daughter run up to you with a huge smile on her face, jump into your arms, plant a big fat kiss on your cheek, and scream, "I love you sooo much, daddy!  I missed you!"

Speaking of fatherhood...BossLady and I attended a wedding Saturday on Orcas Island.  It was an incredibly heartfelt wedding with one of the most diverse groups of people I've ever seen congregated in one location.  I actually didn't know anyone at the wedding except for the bride.  However, on more than one occasion, I found myself completely engrossed in a totally substantive and incredibly cool conversation with several men. 

The topic?  Fatherhood.

Now, I've always believed that this generation of fathers is vastly different from previous ones.  Many of us today are more involved as parents.  We don't see parenting as a "job" or a "woman's responsibility."  We make sacrifices and juggle our lives in ways that I don't think older fathers ever did before.  And most importantly, we're more open with our emotions and we're not averse to discussing the deeply profound impact that fatherhood has had on us. 

At the wedding, I had some amazing conversations about fatherhood with men whom I had just met.  One told me about the enormous sacrifices he made to ensure that his children lived near their grandparents.  Another shared the devastating story of his wife having to terminate a pregnancy because of a rare disease that would have killed their child only days after his birth.  One man told me how he loved experiencing the beauty of the Pacific Northwest alone with his wife but that they felt something was incomplete because their kids weren't there to share the experience with them.  And the father of a four-month-old beamed about how having a child was the single greatest moment of his life. 

This fraternal bond amongst today's fathers is an amazing thing. I've become good friends online with so many of you who, on the surface, couldn't be more different than me but who share my feelings about being a father.  And more than anything else, that has proven to be the most important bond that you and I could ever share. 

Personally, I love being a father. It's become a major part of who I am as a person.  And though I may come across as a sap at times, the one thing I've come to realize about parenthood is that the only opinions in the universe that count belong to my wife and my daughter.  It's the reason I put underwear on my head to make my daughter laugh.  It's the reason I'll skip down West Broadway holding hands with her while singing cheesy show tunes.  And it's the reason my heart breaks whenever I see my daughter suffer.

So to all my fellow dads out there, happy belated father's day!  You truly are my brothers-in-arms and I couldn't be happier to know all of you. 

Comments

[kt]

Glad you enjoyed the Pacific NW. I think I break at least two of your fashion don'ts on a regular basis. C'est la vie.

[Nina]

Very sweet MD. =)

[IHF]

(7) Men in kilts? Wrong on so many levels. Especially if you're not Scottish and you live in a city that has rain 360 days out of the year. Clearly, any man who wears a kilt is beyond listening to my fashion advice. You go, girl!

Hey, Utilikilts are a local institution (http://www.utilikilts.com/), and I enjoy getting to see the Husband's legs. So there.

Can't argue with the polar fleece and crocs comments, though.

Glad you had fun in the Seattle area, though. (Wild Ginger, so tasty!) You'll just have to come back with the Peanut.

[Richard]

Dude, I'm guilty of every single one of those fashion "don'ts!" So embarassed.

[Papa Bradstein]

When Mama and I flew out from Colorado to check out DC before moving here, the woman in the seat in front of us turned around and cooed, "Ooh fleece. I miss fleece." Now that we're here in the 95 percent humidity, I don't wear fleece either, but dude, at the time we were coming from our town at 6,700 feet, where winter lasted nine months and it could snow during any month of the year. So yeah, fleece. But at a wedding? Not so much, no matter how Rocky Mountain high.

As for the brothers-in-arms, I'm right there with you. I never knew how much I had in common with so many guys until we had 3B.

[Brian]

Delurking to say that I couldn't agree with you more. Fatherhood is the greatest thing to happen to me and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

[whit]

Right back at 'ya.

Hey man, grunge is making a comeback. Seattle will be the leader again.

[Mitch McDad]

I’m with you, brother. Well said, as usual. I'm going out of town for a few days later this week and I already can't wait for my triumphant return. I wonder what age they start to not give a shit when you return home???

Now, based on your fashion tip for the Emerald City...do I really need to discard my favorite hunter-green corduroy blazer?? Damn you MD!!

[dutch from sweet juniper]

dude, don't forget about leprechauns.

[Megan]

Welcome back, Metrodad and Bosslady! Your love for your family makes me tear up. Write often!

[thwany]

beautiful, just beautiful.

[Jeannie]

i continue to be amazed at all the great fathers out there, MD. I agree that this generation of dads really is different and I'm so glad that my kids have a father who is willing to do anything for them. Amen!

[Carol]

Us Seattle-ites are honored that you dedicated a partial post to us! Did you, by any chance, get a chance to go to the downtown REI flagship store? That might help put fleece in perspective!

By the way, I would have loved to have shown you and BossLady the Eastside! Ya should'a called!

Carol

[creative-type dad]

I think preschoolers do own the tattoos parlors.

Or the 'artists' are too drunk and really don't know what they're doing.

[ellen]

You are so right about their opinion being the only one that's important.

So glad you had a wonderful trip/wedding and thanks for the fashion tips!

Welcome back!

[honglien123]

Welcome back MD. Today's fathers are definitely different from previous generations. In my industry (IT) I work with many more fathers than mothers. I'm constantly amazed and delighted that no matter what our professional differences, we can bond just like that by talking about our kids. Personally, I'm so very thankful that dads like you, my hubby, co-workers and daddy friends are the becoming more and more the norm. Happy Belated Father's Day to you.

[Deanna]

Welcome back! Back before children and marriage, the Webmaster took me to Wild Ginger for my 21st birthday. I had the duck. It was AWESOME.

Yeah, I know I'm going to have to explain kilts to Ane sometime very soon - we got an up-close view when we visited the aquarium a couple of weeks ago. Also proud to say that no one in this family owns Crocs. I hate those things!!!

Anyway, sorry about the weather, but that's how it goes here. I hope it doesn't mean you won't come back for a visit again! Next time, bring the Peanut, and perhaps baby Orcas? ;)

[David]

You bring a tear to my eye, yet again. I think I've got an excuse to knock off early and go home to the kids today.

[brianna]

First of all, welcome back! Second of all, I know I'm dying to have kids already, but I swear, when I read your blog it's like my biological clock just starts whacking me upside the head...I can't wait : ) You make it all sound so wonderful.

[JAC]

Kilts? Seriously? Must go to Northwest. Love a man in a kilt. You never get to see that in the Northeast unless you're at a Renaissance/Scottish festival type thing.

[Anne Glamore]

Yum, Wild Ginger! I hope you ate some garlic green beans for me!!

Glad you had such a great getaway in one of my favorite areas.

Happy Fathers Day.

Nothing but crunchy brown grass here. (zoyzia, not, well, you know.)

AG

[Sarah G]

You are the master at making me laugh and making me cry, all in the same post. My family is considering a move to the Pacific Northwest and you outlined all the things I know I'd love (the great outdoors and super kind people) mixed with all the things that scare me (hippies and no edge). Fathers are the best!

[Lena]

I can't wait to show this post to my husband. He's a big fan of your site. Maybe this will convince him to finally throw out that green corduroy blazer that he's had since college!

[KC]

Beautiful sentiments. I hope my husband feels the same way- he doesn't share such things usually but when I watch him together with Jolie, I really believe it to be true.

Score on the wines. And score on your welcome home.

[Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom]

Welcome back MetroDad..And Happy Father's day to you too...

[Elaine]

It's refreshing to see a man who can be so open about his feelings yet not come off as a total wuss. Once again, you've shown yourself to be a pretty unique guy, MD. Hope you had a great father's day.

[Spacecasie]

You guys left right in time for the sun! Two days straight, I think I might overdose on vitamn D. Glad you had fun in our little weird part of the world!

I live in cali and i have never seen men/boys in skirts, until i was in arkansanow in seattle....thank god not here

[Phoenix]

Sounds like you had a blast. I'm glad you're back though, because I need a little Metro Dad in my week.

I despise patchouli. I know it's bad in Seattle and other places but the worst is Boulder, CO. You can smell it from miles away.

[pnuts mama]

happy fathers day, MD. aren't we the lucky ones? i can't imagine anything better than watching my husband and pnut doing their thing together. he cherishes being a dad, too.

glad you had a great time, glad you are back.

[kathy]

welcome back. your blog is very entertaining. thanks.

[Brent]

I once broke up with a girl because she refused to stop wearing patchouli.

[croutonboy]

I raise my fleece-covered arm from my corduroy covered knee to salute you, fellow father.

Wild Ginger ROCKS. Love that they're still kickin' ass there

[Lindie]

I am a 61 yr old Nana and I respect today's fathers so much. I love the way you openly care for your children. I have 2 daughters who are married to 2 wonderful men who are the best daddies! one just has 1 daughter, the other has 6! (3 of each) Both are wonderful husbands and fathers.

[Sheri]

But I love my crocs!!! Can't you make an exception for me??? And my oh-so-happy feet???

[L.A. Daddy]

Welcome back! I agree about the modern father thing. Well, heck -- look at all the blogs, for example! We're not just doing more... we're talking about it!

[NG]

Thanks for a terrific post. Welcome back!

[enygma]

Welcome back! I'm sure Peanut is thrilled to have her parents back so that she can dominate, I mean, cuddle, them.

[panthergirl]

Happy Belated Metro-Dad Day! I loved your advice to the PW'ers... pffft.

And I agree totally about "today's dads". It's about fucking time.

xox
pg

[LeeMarvin]

Welcome back, MD & BL.

Happy belated fathers day. Yes, we are different than our fathers were. It is our time, so to speak. I'm glad that you had a great time. I agree with everything you said about fashion, except for having to give up my Crocs. They are too comfortable for words.

[Vampdaddy]

Good to have you back in these blogging parts, MD!

[Jeannie]

I live in Portland and have been to my fair share of freezing cold outdoor summer weddings. I would LOVE a polar fleece evening gown. C'mon, MD. Make it happen!

[momto3cusb]

Oh, you would love the fashions of rural Wisconsin ;)

I wouldn't be surprised if Crocs show up in church on Sunday.

Glad you had such a wonderful, and safe, trip.

[William]

Welcome back MD.

[J.Herman]

Ugh...my husband loves his damn Crocs. They're the ugliest things I've ever seen in my life and we have arguments about them all the time. Now, he's allowed to wear them in the backyard but he' prohibited from wearing them in public. Personally I'd rather brun them. Do they even melt?

[Jrock]

MD, great having you back. I'm not a father, yet. But you're one of the few parents I know that make it sound all worth while having kids -- everyone else makes it scary. Thanks for balancing it out! I know when my nephew runs to me screaming "Tio, Tio!", my life is made at the moment and he's not even MY kid!

[KG]

Yeah, DADS!!! :)

[Melissa]

I love your technocrati tag, " Men who change diapers change the world."

So true. It really is refreshing to see so many men truly embrace modern fatherhood.

[Mama Nabi]

Crocs are so controversial. I must say, LN loves her crocs and I love the fact that they are so light - I'm not ready yet to make that fashion faux-pas, but dude, it's tempting!
The green blazer? I totally agree... not the most flattering color for a blazer.
And your sweet (sappy) portion on fatherhood got me all teary-eyed... so yeah, thanks.
Glad you guys had a blast!

[nonlineargirl]

Hmm, crocs at a wedding? Even in the northwest that crosses a line.

No shock that the weather didn't get above 70 on the PNW coast in June. (Just spent a few days on the Oregon coast and wore a sweater and jeans the whole time.) I am glad you had a good time out here. Having lived in the east, midwest and southwest as well, this is my favorite part of the country. C'mon back any time.