It's a well-established fact that you dearly love your wife and mother.
However, your daughter is only 2 1/2 years old and your only sibling has decided to spend the weekend partying with friends in Vegas. Therefore, the entire Mother's Day holiday falls squarely on your broad shoulders.
Ignoring your pleas to sleep in until noon, your daughter instead chooses to wake up at 6:30 am. Determined to let your wife sleep in, you drag yourself out of bed to make waffles for your daughter. After an hour of throwing play-dough at each other while watching "The Sound of Music," you decide to go out and walk the dog. The only problem is that your daughter insists on pushing her baby doll in her stroller; so a normally 5-minute walk around the block ends up taking you 45 minutes.
You drop the dog off and then go out again to buy your wife some coffee and breakfast. Then, it's over to the flower store to buy some lilies. After that, you run over to Kinkos to print out some Mother's Day photos and make a homemade card. In the store, your daughter knocks over two store displays and gets her fingers stuck in some packing tape. You decide to pick her and everything else up and go back home. By the time you enter your building, you look like an overloaded yuppie Sherpa carrying Ivanka Trump's wardrobe up Mt. Everest.
However, it's all worth it when, at 10:00, you and your daughter jump into bed and wake up your beautiful wife. While changing your daughter's diaper, you tried to explain the concept of Mother's Day to her. Somewhere in your tiredness, you must have made a comparison to birthdays. Now, your daughter is cheerfully singing, "happy birthday to you" to your wife. You both laugh at her silliness.
Because you love your wife, you announce to her that the entire day is hers for the taking. Never missing the opportunity to take you up on your offer, she cheerfully announces that you will all be going to Target. Although you too are a fan of the giant discount store located in nearby NJ, the last time you and your wife were there together, it cost you over $250 and took over three hours. You never knew how much stuff there was that you never knew you needed!
The Target venture goes relatively smoothly...except for the fact that your daughter sits in a puddle of soda and soaks herself completely. Thankfully, you're at Target so you can pick a new outfit out for her. While you select an adorable floral print dress, your daughter chooses a Little Mermaid Ariel bathing suit, replete with an attached tutu. An argument ensues and you get a brief glimpse of what life will be like during her teenage years!
Afterwards, you decide to take advantage of the fact that you are in NJ by going to not ONE but TWO different Asian food markets. One is Japanese. The other is Korean. Both are completely packed with your fellow Asians. Apparently, nothing says "Happy Mother's Day" like kimchi and fried gyoza.
You then head to one of your favorite secret NYC-area spots, a private non-profit nature preserve with over 65 acres of wildlife trails. For two hours, you hike through the forests and marvel at the sheer beauty of the gorgeous day. Unfortunately, 20 minutes into your hike, your daughter gets scared by a squirrel and insists that you carry her for the rest of the time. By the time you finish hiking, your back is sore and you feel like Larry Bird in the '92 NBA playoffs.
Somehow, your daughter has managed to cover herself completely in dirt. Her pockets are filled with acorns. And when you take off her diaper, you're not entirely suprised to find twigs in there. You wipe her down with some wipes and put on her new dress from Target.
Back in the car, you entertain your daughter by singing "So Long, Farewell" while your beautiful wife wraps presents and writes out cards for your father (birthday) and for your mother (mother's day.) You drive 20 miles to an amazing Japanese restaurant where you all enjoy a multi-generational family gathering. Your daughter behaves surprisingly well, except for the moment when she leaves the table and decides to lie down by the hostess stand to take a quick nap.
Finally, you drive back to Manhattan. You drop off the groceries. You return the car to the garage. You go walk the dog again. When you get back home, you assume your daughter will already be asleep. Instead, she is racing her Hot Wheels cars all around the apartment. The dress that she hated from Target? She now refuses to take off and is insisting that everyone watch some more "Sound of Music" before she'll go to bed. Too tired to put up a fight, you acquiesce.
Soon after, your wife also goes to bed. You turn on the TV to watch highlights of the Mets game. You think about the day's events and you decide to write a blog entry. While writing it, you realize that although your day was completely exhausting, you come to understand that these are the types of days that you will cherish forever. You remember how lucky you are to have such a fantastic wife who is an even better mother. You remember how your daughter will never be two years old again and that this really is a great age to be her father. You think about your own mother and are grateful not only for everything she's ever done for you but also for the person that she's helped you become.
In the end, you realize that this was the greatest Mother's Day you've ever had...even though you're not a mom. Maybe it's not such a Hallmark holiday after all.
Happy Mother's Day, BossLady! Look, we made a toddler! Holy crap!
Hope all you mothers out there had a great Mother's Day as well!
Happy (belated) Mother's Day BossLady!
Way to go on the Target strategy!
Posted by: wn | May 14, 2007 at 09:36 AM
Sounds like a great Mother's Day. Hope BossLady had an awesome time!
Posted by: Lena | May 14, 2007 at 09:45 AM
Is that a daddy t-shirt? Glad to see you got some daddy love on mother's day! Sounds like a perfect, lovely day!
Posted by: cooper | May 14, 2007 at 09:51 AM
Coincidentally, or maybe not, my Mother's Day (lunch) also involved kimchi and fried gyoza. It's either that we lead strangely parallel lives or the Korean thing. Probably the Korean thing. It could have only been made more perfect by a trip to Target (sans soda puddle).
Posted by: Stefania/CityMama | May 14, 2007 at 09:53 AM
"look we made a toddler, holy crap"
-priceless.
happy mothers day to bosslady!
Posted by: brianna | May 14, 2007 at 10:29 AM
I'm a mom and somehow I ended up going TO the Mets game! Something about Sunday Season tickets and we have the tickets so we have to go. It was an awesome game. :-)
Posted by: Bopper | May 14, 2007 at 10:33 AM
Loved the post :) But I MUST ask... what is this secret garden you speak of?!?
Posted by: Victoria | May 14, 2007 at 11:26 AM
That sounds like a perfect NYC kind of day! Love the little nap under the counter, LOL!
We had the perfect OC kind: Early morning wake up call, followed by McDonalds in the car for all, and an early morning jaunt to Disneyland! Got on all the rides, the sun was beautiful, and I was with my kids. Perfect!
Posted by: Chelle | May 14, 2007 at 11:34 AM
What a great (and yes, exhausting day). I think I may need to lie down by the hostess stand and take a nap.
Posted by: KC | May 14, 2007 at 12:02 PM
Metrohyung....
*shakes head*
How much does a 2 year old weigh?
Like 50 lbs max? You need to hit the gym more, then you wouldn't have your other health problems. (Speaking of which, has the doctor been sticking his finger up your butt yet? If no, get that done.)
Why do Korean women need to stop at multiple Asian grocery stores? This one has better meat, that one has better fish, I like the banchan at this third one more.
I want to get married, but am terrified of it. Just as I am terrified at the thought of kids. But I will dress them in Kim Jong Il jumpsuits until they are like 15.
Posted by: Mikeymike | May 14, 2007 at 01:11 PM
Happy Mother's Day to Bosslady!
I spent the entire day with my mom as well. Thank goodness it was a beautiful day. We did a lot of walking and I can tell that she was very happy.
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by: ray lee | May 14, 2007 at 01:25 PM
That sounds utterly exhausting! Fun, but exhausting. We hung around the house and played in the backyard. I was cool with that.
Happy Mother's Day!
Posted by: the weirdgirl | May 14, 2007 at 01:49 PM
Happy M-Day to Boss Lady!
(And? That penultimate paragraph? That made me tear up.)
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | May 14, 2007 at 01:56 PM
Haha..sounds like you had the same day as my husband! Since our kids are so young, all the Mother's Day planning was orchestrated by him. He was so tired at the end of the day, I found him passed out on the couch this morning!
I guess I'll make it up to him on Father's Day!
Posted by: Jessica | May 14, 2007 at 03:11 PM
Aw, Happy Mother's day, Bosslady!
My kid called me... that was good.
And that was pretty much my day.
I have no life.
*sigh*
Oh, I had a chicken pot pie, too.
Everything else was the same old shit. LOL
Posted by: The Other Ruth | May 14, 2007 at 03:29 PM
Happy Mother's Day to BossLady too! Looks like you didn't fail her at all! My husband took us treking through the woods too. We have pictures just like that of our boys......all the way over here in WA state!
Posted by: Jen | May 14, 2007 at 04:02 PM
sounds like quite the day.
Boss Lady is one lucky lady.
Target rocks.
never thought I'd get so excited by Thomas O'Brian bath towels..sad but true.
Posted by: petitegourmand | May 14, 2007 at 04:53 PM
What a great day! I know, we have 2 SuperTargets in our neighborhood and they are both time/money-suckers... BTW, hope you checked with both a hematologist and a gastroenterologist for that clean bill of health - not to be a nag or anything... but really, it's better to get over-tested than to worry...
Posted by: Mama Nabi | May 14, 2007 at 05:20 PM
MD, Do you know where I can find a guy like you? Is there a special catalogue I didn't receive somehow?
That's one lucky wife you've got. For Mother's Day, she choose Target? Funny, very funny.
Posted by: Phoenix | May 14, 2007 at 07:23 PM
A Mother's Day trip to Target? BossLady is a woman after my own heart! Every time I try to drag my husband there, he feigns illness.
Glad you guys had such a great Mother's Day!
Posted by: Helen | May 14, 2007 at 07:52 PM
Happy belated Mother's Day BossLady!
Sounds like Sunday was a great day. Who knew that Target could be just a great holiday destination? If only we had thought about it, instead, the only thing I could think of was to go to the movies and of course, the only decent movie out that we hadn't seen is 28 Weeks Later. Mmm...Zombies on Mother's Day.
Posted by: honglien123 | May 14, 2007 at 07:55 PM
Glad you're back, MD.
This is a great post, as usual.
I'm tired just reading about everything you did...
Posted by: the new girl | May 14, 2007 at 07:59 PM
Happy Mother's Day!
I've got a suggestion for the I-have-to-carry-my-toddler issue: I got a fanny pack and stuffed it with towels to create sort of a "perch" -- it works well for me. I blogged it a while back, if you're interested in more detail: http://doodaddy.net/doodads/the-hipster/
Posted by: Doodaddy | May 14, 2007 at 08:31 PM
Happy Mother's Day BossLady!
Posted by: Samantha Jo Campen | May 14, 2007 at 09:33 PM
Bosslady & Md,
Happy Belated Mothers Day to you both.
Seems that trips were the order of the day yesterday. We drove a group of teens to Jones Beach, L.I. (from eastern PA) to film video footage for a "quinceanera" for a son's friend. (Great beach!)
So we celebrated the day on Saturday. Since I'm a procrastinator and waited until the last minute to buy any gifts, I ran around like a maniac Thursday & Friday to be prepared for Saturday.
Most of all, wife and mother were happy for my efforts.
Glad that you're feeling better.
Posted by: LeeMarvin | May 14, 2007 at 09:53 PM
Hey, if the Peanut weighs 50 lbs., you must be feeding her chocolate cake at every meal. Mikeymike, there's a big difference between carrying 50 lbs. of say, freeweights, and 50 lbs. of squirming kid. All the gym in the world won't help you when she decides to turn upside down.
MD & Boss Lady, sounds like a lovely day, glad you enjoyed it.
Posted by: landismom | May 14, 2007 at 10:00 PM
Landismom:
Really? Squirmy?
How long (how old) can you keep them in those baby restraint devices I see strapped to people's chests?
And if they get too big for that, can I strap them on my back like Chewbacca did with C-3PO in Empire Strikes Back?
Obviously, I'm single with no kids. I'll admit, I have a fear of holding children. The fumble-itis of my junior season of high school football has scarred me for life. Any dads out there thought about buying extra tacky receiver gloves before being a dad?
Posted by: MikeyMike | May 14, 2007 at 10:48 PM
What a great Mother's Day post! Although the "trip to Target" was a little strange for me, the suburbanite who lives within 10 miles either north or west of TWO Targets (and one Wal-Mart). And the clothes fight with the Peanut? I am totally with you on that.
NOTHING says Mother's Day like gyoza! That is the best!
Posted by: Deanna | May 14, 2007 at 11:33 PM
Target shopping is my favorite sport. Bosslady is my kinda gal!
Happy Belated Mothers Day to you and your family. Can't wait to hear about it when it's your turn, MD.
Posted by: Glennia | May 15, 2007 at 03:30 AM
I'm with Phoenix, MD. Where can I find a guy like you? All my husband did for Mother's Day was take us all out to dinner with his family (which we do EVERY Sunday anyway!)
Posted by: Lisa | May 15, 2007 at 08:51 AM
This post reminds me of that book "If you give a mouse a cookie". He's going to ask for a lot of things after that.
Glad you guys had a fun and memorable day, and I'm just exhausted reading it. I bet you went to same Korean market we always go when we visited the in-laws in NJ. It used to call Hah Re Um (sp?) but changed to M-Mart or something like that.
Happy belated Mother's Day to BL!
Posted by: Waya | May 15, 2007 at 12:15 PM
The Peanut is soooo cute!
Posted by: Millie | May 15, 2007 at 02:20 PM
Completely exhausting yet also the best thing ever --- you've just about summed up family life, MD. It is the best! :)
We drove around to all our respective mothers. Our pumpkin picked out a "how to make balloon animals" kit for me. My husband tried to steer it to something else, and all he got was, "No! Mama will love this!!!"
Now I'm learning know how to make balloon animals. It's quite fun, and I've now realized this is something I've always wanted to learn.
Posted by: KG | May 15, 2007 at 10:49 PM
Wow, I got tired just reading about your day, MD. That's more than I've done in a week!
Posted by: Brent | May 15, 2007 at 11:52 PM
Happy mothers day to all mothers out there (Belated)!
Best greetings to all!
Posted by: Sydney Johntson | May 16, 2007 at 12:40 PM
We hosted Mother's Day over here for 30+ people and had:
Homemade kimchi and fried rice (courtesy of my Korean sister-in-law and Chinese sister-in-law, respectively), sushi (courtesy of my mom) three-alarm chili (courtesy of my brother, who's Japanese, but hey - we were raised in the 'hood), and Japanese-style chicken+shitake curry (made by me.) We're all over the place.
Happy Mother's Day to the BossLady! I want to give her props for dragging your ass to Target - I can't get mine near the place.
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | May 16, 2007 at 11:13 PM
(Uh, that would be my HUSBAND, not my ass.)
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | May 16, 2007 at 11:14 PM
You know my Mothers Day wasn't so good.. but this makes it better. And, glad your feeling well-ish/better, too.
Posted by: mo-wo | May 17, 2007 at 12:54 AM
please send me your button/badge for my father's day blogroll + enter my father's day giveaways. i started them today with a fatboy modern hammock. spread the word :)
mod*mom
http://modmom.blogspot.com
Posted by: mod*mom | May 17, 2007 at 04:25 AM
What a gorgeous little sweetpea.
A friend of mine said that one of a mother's most important parenting choices is choosing the father of her kid. So give yourself a pat on the back too.
Posted by: winterwheat | May 17, 2007 at 05:15 PM
Yay! I loved this post.
Posted by: Hopkinscutie | May 17, 2007 at 11:39 PM
gawd, i love your posts...i'm just a reader :)
Posted by: grace | May 18, 2007 at 08:47 PM
first time reader, here. i laughed and cried at this one and now i'm here at work frantically trying to read more of your stuff while pretending to....work. it sounds like you are great husband and dad and have a lovely family.
Posted by: ashley | May 24, 2007 at 02:46 PM
omg...what a find your blog is! hilarious and wonderful, regardless of gender - as long as you're a parent trying to sort out what the hell to do next!
and btw, next time your daughter thinks she needs a bathing suit (or even if she doesn't!) you can check out www.beachbabybikinis.com - she'll love the little matching skirts, they're not fussy or (yech!) branded w/overcommercialized logos that make me retch (no offense to those of you who like those things, of course!) AND you can get a matching suit for your fabulous bosslady too. talk about scoring for mother's day!!!
can't wait to read your next installment!
Posted by: clevermommy | May 28, 2007 at 02:20 PM
aw god. this made me cry. this was such a nice post. mother's day and father's day.. who would've guessed it would be such wonderful time for me??
Posted by: unha | June 21, 2007 at 01:54 PM
Wish I saw this earlier its sounds really great mother's day.
vee
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Posted by: Giovanni | November 19, 2012 at 03:28 AM
My husband, kids and I reentcly moved from Spokane to Walla Walla. My mom and I have seen eachother everyday for the last 30 years and its been really hard on her not being able to see the kids and us since we have moved. My mom is a very special lady and would do anything and everyting for her friends and family!When traveling back to Spokane we stop and pick up her favorite salsa and truffles, so what not a better Mothers day present than a gift basket from her favorite chocolate store. You guys rock!
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