"Basketball is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators."-Dick Vertleib
Years ago, my buddies and I would get together for the NCAA Tourney and spend 6 hours in a bar watching non-stop basketball. However, now we're all married and have kids so although we'll still get together every once in awhile, most of the time we watch the games in our own homes while speaking to each other on the telephone.
And although we're all aware that fatherhood has changed us in immeasurable ways, we didn't quite realize how much we'd evolved until we started listening to each other during the hoop games. Over the past two weeks, we were shocked to hear the following phrases come out of our mouths:
"Do the hokey pokey, UNC is on fucking fire!"
"D is for Defense, baby!"
"Man, the wheels on the bus go round and round! The Hoyas can't miss!"
"Ring around the rosie! I can't believe that shot didn't drop in!"
Are my buddies and I the only ones who speak like this? Or do any of you other dads out there find yourselves doing the same thing? And what about women? Do any of you pick up stupid things from your kids and use them in everyday conversation? Like, if you find a great pair of shoes, do you tell your girlfriends that they're "totally fragglicious?" Or would you call your sister up excitedly and yell, "W is for Warehouse Sale!"
It is just a guy thing, isn't it? That's what I thought.
.
"There are three things in my life which I really love: God, my family, and baseball. The only problem is that once baseball season starts, I change the order around a bit."-Al Gallagher
Opening Day for MLB baseball is in 5 days.
For us die-hard fans, there's an old saying that "baseball is like a church---many attend but few understand." And if baseball truly is a church, then Opening Day is our Easter. It's a time of renewal and resurrection. It represents a newness in which every team starts with a clean slate and every fan can begin hoping for the glory of seeing their team in the World Series. Tabula rasa, baby!
Now, don't get me wrong. I enjoy most sports. However, the other sports are just sports. Baseball is a love. And as George Will once wrote, "Baseball, it is said, is only a game. True. And the Grand Canyon is only a hole in Arizona."
I like to think that my love of baseball has imparted lessons that I have carried over into life. If you look at the sport philosophically, almost every facet of baseball can be seen as an allegory for life. It's a game where sacrifice is truly appreciated. Subtlety is rewarded. Patience is a virtue. Fear is your ally. And, most importantly, it teaches you that success really can be defined in decimal points.
This season will be the first one where I think I'll start taking the Peanut to Met games with me. I know she's too young to understand the finer nuances of the game. However, I figure after a couple of potato knishes, some old-school Shea Stadium hot dogs, and a few giant balls of cotton candy, she's gonna be hooked for life.
GO METS!
Like most Asian baseball players, the Peanut dislikes chewing tobacco. Pacifiers are the new chaw, y'all!
Meanwhile, who are YOU rooting for this season? I'm a sucker for a good wager. After losing a horrible bet to my pal Big Dubya last year, I'm looking to make amends!
Well, I'm not as bad as you and your buddies but I will admit that last week when I was describing a pair of ugly bridesmaid shoes to my sister, I described them as the color of Elmo.
Go Red Sox!
Posted by: Jennifer | March 27, 2007 at 10:59 PM
Worse probably to you, I'm a die-hard Yankee fan. Though I have to say I spent a good part of my childhood attending both Mets and Yankees games. My parents didn't seem to get that we were only supposed to like one.
Will your daughter play little league? I have always loved baseball (played little league myself), but I have developed an entirely different respect and adoration for the game since we've had kids playing. First son is in majors and second son started t-ball this spring. There's a baseball allegory for every lesson in life.
Posted by: MammaLoves | March 27, 2007 at 11:24 PM
Also a Yankees fan here. What kind of wager are we talking about? Better record? Most Golden Gloves? Farthest in the playoffs...oh wait, you're a Mets fan. I guess we can just go with you cutting me a check.
Posted by: whit | March 27, 2007 at 11:59 PM
My daughter was three months old when we took her to the Mariner's opening day two years ago. She made the front page of the Seattle PI sports page (cutely tucked into the front of my wife's fleece coat in a chest carrier). It's been downhill ever since.
Posted by: rwc | March 28, 2007 at 12:10 AM
I'll bet you that Chan Ho Park will flame out in NY. And that the Rockies will have a better record than the Mets.
Posted by: MikeyMike | March 28, 2007 at 12:11 AM
i think this is blasphemy on your blog, but whatever, you asked:
GO YANKEES!
Posted by: AlieMalie | March 28, 2007 at 12:15 AM
Oh I think it's women too. Parenting changes EVERYTHING. (Dude, you think I could sell that to Hallmark for a new baby card?) I loved Jennifer's line, "the color of Elmo", too fucking funny.
The hot dogs, cotton candy and seven dollar beers are the reasons I go to baseball games. Please don't disown me.... GO DODGERS!!!!
Posted by: Melissa | March 28, 2007 at 12:52 AM
I was raised a Yankee fan, but I lost that loving feeling lately for all the obvious reasons.
So, I'm adopting my local team. This is the year the Rockies will tear down their Wild Card banner and make a run for all the glory.
Now I sing: "Meet the Mets. Greet the Mets. Step right up and BEAT the Mets." Bring it on baby. The Rock Pile is waiting.
Posted by: Mitch McDad | March 28, 2007 at 01:03 AM
Who am I rooting for this year? The same time I root for every year. I'm a third generation Red Sox fan. I live and breathe the Sox. And luckily, one of our pitchers, a guy you might of heard of, Curt Shilling, is blogging. He's blogged through much of spring training, and his blog is GREAT.
I just can't wait to see DiceK pitching in the majors. I'm so psyched for Opening Day!
Posted by: margalit | March 28, 2007 at 01:13 AM
Long time reader...first time poster!
Rally round the Astros and the Killer B's!!!
I am a fan....but mostly a baseball widow....
cute story....when we were in the World Series in '05 we were very sad about the losing....sniff...and when the last game was played...and we were beat...my husband was just about in tears....his childhood dream had come true and then slipped right through his fingers. So, as ESPN was broadcasting their first "How Does It Feel To Be WS Losers?" after game show.....I was in the bathroom taking a pregnancy test! And it was positive! Our second child was on his way....As Michael wept for his team I casually said "Well honey, the 'Stros couldn't hit it out of the park this time...BUT YOU sure can!"
He felt better.....LOL!
Posted by: Crystal In Houston | March 28, 2007 at 01:57 AM
LET'S GO OAKLAND!!!
And no, it's not all men. Somehow I've added an "ie" to things. Ever since I've become a mother diapers are diapies, blankets are blankies, boobs are boobies...well you get the idea.
Posted by: honglien123 | March 28, 2007 at 02:12 AM
People at work make fun of me when I leave for the day and wave "Bye Bye!"...
And god help me - long-suffering Cubs fan...
Posted by: IFLYG | March 28, 2007 at 06:49 AM
Hmm. I have suggested to my team (through the tv) "What's gonna work?"
My kids will always answer "teamwork".
Posted by: Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah | March 28, 2007 at 07:36 AM
Tobacco flavored binkys. I think you may beon to something there.
Go Phils.
Posted by: William | March 28, 2007 at 07:59 AM
I found a lovely pink Sox shirt for you to wear this year. Unfortunately, there will be no I-95 series so we'll have to come up with something different.
And, did I see two Rockies fans in the comments? Oh, my. Good luck with that.
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | March 28, 2007 at 08:05 AM
Sorry MD - got another Yankee fan here. And it's nearly heroic to be one here in god-forsaken Georgia, so I think I deserve props for that. (Does anyone say "props" anymore?)
We can't seem to get the word "potty" out of our daily vocabulary. Our daughter is almost eleven so you'd think we'd have stopped by now, but we haven't. It's embarrassing as hell to be out in public somewhere and my 240 pound, 6'3" husband, says, "I gotta go potty."
Posted by: Rachel E. | March 28, 2007 at 08:19 AM
My husband are I are HUGE Cubs fans. This year we were able to get tickets to 4 games- one of which is in a few weeks!
Posted by: Meagan | March 28, 2007 at 08:35 AM
GO RED SOX!
I think you'll look great in pink, MD.
Posted by: Velma | March 28, 2007 at 09:24 AM
How awesome is it that you just said "y'all?"
PS: better the Mets than those bastard Yankees.
Posted by: Jonathon | March 28, 2007 at 09:29 AM
My brother is a baseball fanatic. He took his newborn son (less than 2 months old) to opening day for the St. Louis Cardinals. Vacations are planned around spring training.
Posted by: cardfan | March 28, 2007 at 09:29 AM
Washington Nationals. Sad but true.
Posted by: Molly Chase | March 28, 2007 at 09:47 AM
The Yankees are pure, unadulterated evil.
Posted by: Mikeymike | March 28, 2007 at 10:50 AM
Astros all the way.
Although I'm in Albuquerque now so I spend many summer days watching the Isotopes. Yes, named by the Simpsons.
Good beer. Awesome Stadium. Lousy baseball. I actually counter-offered a job offer to reduce my pay by 50% in exchange for season tickets and guaranteed attendance to all the Isotopes home games. (As a start up, they weren't game for it. They needed a body more than the money). The best part of baseball in Albuquerque is we get 10-20 games a year with a 30-40 mph wind blowing right through the back stop. Any time someone connects... The ball is in the parking lot. I actually watched a college game between UNM and Rice (my alma mater) (with Berkman playing) where they had to stop the game in the 3rd inning to collect balls from the parking lot. Yes. They ran out of balls. It was 28 to 3. They have a mercy rule even in college. Who knew. Berkman hit an in the park home run because the outfielders were just standing at the wall. He ran out a little blipper double. Other than my family, only baseball scouts were sitting in the stands during the gale. Rice actually lost 1 of the series 26 - 23. They let the 3rd baseman pitch and they batted through twice before he could get 3 outs.
Posted by: Dan | March 28, 2007 at 10:55 AM
You ever wonder how you would feel if your daughter was a Yankee fan? If any of my children were Met fans, I'd suck it up. I don't hate the Mets so it's okay that they love the other NY team. But if my kids rooted for the RedSox, it would be a really tough decision in whether I should give them Hell for the rest of their lives, or just disown them.
And I will admit. The sausages at Shea are better than the ones at Yankee Stadium. I think that's one of the few reasons why I like going to Shea. =X
-ray leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posted by: ray lee | March 28, 2007 at 11:05 AM
Hm, you have alot of Northeastern fans, MD, mostly Yankees and Sox fans. Being from Texas I gotta pull for the Rangers but, gah! They can be so frustrating! They can do so well for part of a season and we're thinking that yeah, maybe this is the year! And then it all goes to hell in a handbasket.
But we're not as big baseball fans down here, we live and breathe the Dallas Cowboys, of course!
Posted by: Leeny | March 28, 2007 at 11:26 AM
Go Angels!
Posted by: angelsfan | March 28, 2007 at 12:07 PM
Remember the movie "Fever Pitch"? THAT'S my husband (except he's a Yankees fan.) I love him to death but during the season, I'm like a widow. He and his two best friends from high school have had season tickets for 10 years now and they rarely ever miss a game. Even worse? He watches all the away games too.
The flip side is that he doesn't mind when I take vacations with my girlfriends during the off-season.
Posted by: Brenda | March 28, 2007 at 12:20 PM
Re: The Madness. Yes. We have it too. The other night the husband yelled, "He fucking WALKED!" and he was talking about the baby.
Posted by: Xdm | March 28, 2007 at 12:27 PM
"if you find a great pair of shoes, do you tell your girlfriends that they're "totally fragglicious?"
Hahaha..you crack me up, MD!
Posted by: Lena | March 28, 2007 at 12:59 PM
Thanks to my son, I can't call a guitar a guitar, it has to be a dic-tar....
And uh....Go TIGERS!
Posted by: nikki | March 28, 2007 at 01:39 PM
As fellow 'Stros fans, Crystal and Dan are my new best friends. :-) Down here in Corpus, we go to Hooks games all summer long--I'd guess twice a week, on average? Friends know not to call us to go out because we're most likely at Whataburger Field. They don't understand our obsession with scorecards, but when you talk about "Thirsty Thursdays" ($2 beer night), they become baseball fans reeeeeal fast.
Posted by: elsu | March 28, 2007 at 02:45 PM
I'd completely forgotten about potato knishes. When my grandmother was alive and we'd visit NY, she's always take us to Yona Schimmels on the lower east side. Never tasted anything like it.
Posted by: Bradley | March 28, 2007 at 02:51 PM
Go Gators! We don't imitate our kids nearly as much as they imitate us. Recently heard in my house (by a 5 year old), "I'm all about the Gators!" Our 3 year old's room is painted orange & white and complete with a Gator blankie.
Being from MA, I have to say, "Go Red Sox!" But, if we're talking great stadiums, we had more fun at Camden Yards. Lame ballgame, but great take! We brought our daughter there when she was 5 months old. I guess we should bring the kids to a Sox game this year...
-from a Sports Widow
Posted by: Jen Serrano | March 28, 2007 at 03:19 PM
Yeah, Go Angels!
Posted by: jubgulia | March 28, 2007 at 03:26 PM
hey Elsu! let's catch a game LOL! Good to see some fellow 'Stros fans!!
And sometimes, I wonder if Yankees and Braves and Sox fans wonder how much some of us look at those teams? All that big money for big players that become celebrities? All those caps and shirts and merchandise that is sold in every state? It makes us feel like "pure" fans because we love and support the under dogs? I think that is why the WS was SOOO big for us! We did it! Without the benefit of buying "the perfect team"......
But we also understand those in NY and Boston, you gotta love your team too!
Posted by: Crystal In Houston | March 28, 2007 at 03:58 PM
I've got to admire a man who loves the Mets as much as you do, MD. Must have been hard suffering through all that turmoil in your life. Too bad this year will be more of the same.
Go Yankees!
Posted by: Numero Uno Yankees Fan! | March 28, 2007 at 04:13 PM
Another Yankee fan here. Are you taking names for checks?
Posted by: Darren a/k/a Clare's Dad | March 28, 2007 at 05:04 PM
In spite of Balco Bonds, I have to go with my hometown Giants. Who else can bring home the heartbreak of baseball like a team that throws the last four games of what seemed like a clinched World Series?
To introduce 3B to the sport, however, we're going to have to substitute the Nats for the Giants this year. Last season you promised to catch a game with Liberal Banana, Boyfriend, and the Bradsteins if you were down this way. We're still up for it, if you're not too scared to watch your Mets go down to the Nats.
Yeah, even though I'm a carpetbagging fan, I still love talking smack to support the home team.
Posted by: Papa Bradstein | March 28, 2007 at 05:33 PM
Not only are those march madness "cheers" in my new daddy lexicon ... I'm having trouble saying anything without freaking singing it. And by the way, go giants!
Posted by: cry it out! | March 28, 2007 at 05:46 PM
Die hard Cub fan, thank you very much.
Posted by: misfithausfrau | March 28, 2007 at 07:38 PM
yes, MD, and I can't stop with the gibberish. Mum, dad, R1 all pinch R2 in the "boppen", we put things "up-dee" and "down-dee", we eat "dim-dum". I'm just waiting to f-up on a conference call: "well, my numbers are up-dee for the month..."
Posted by: R2Dad | March 28, 2007 at 08:06 PM
I hate the Hoyas. HATE.
Posted by: Amy | March 28, 2007 at 08:07 PM
I was a huge basketball fan back in the 80's where you actually had talents like Tiny Archibald, Larry Bird and company. But not any more.
It's interesting to see that sports bring all races together, for instance: when Dice-K came to the Red Sox and all these white folks were cheering for him like he was one of them. Let's see how they treat him if he doesn't play up to par.
Posted by: Waya | March 28, 2007 at 08:42 PM
Baseball? Eh, as far as I'm concerned. But I'm widowed by the Oakland As.
Posted by: landismom | March 28, 2007 at 09:10 PM
Hell yes, on baseball. We have two Nats games lined up for next week already. I'm so freaking psyched.
And I constantly tell people at work that I have to "go pottie". I just gave up trying to remember not to say it.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | March 28, 2007 at 09:32 PM
Here in Australia we have Aussie Rules or AFL. A type of football that we lovingly describe as cross-country basketball.
The idea is that you have to kick the ball between two large posts...there are two smaller posts either side of these. 6 points for the big ones and 1 point for the smaller ones.
I was at the MCG in Melbourne and a kid of about 4 or 5 years old got up and screamed at a player who missed "kick it between the bigs ones you dickhead!!"
I think we do things in reverse here in OZ.
Posted by: Chocolate Makes It Better | March 29, 2007 at 12:13 AM
U.K. visitor here, Metrodad. I'm glad to hear the reasons why you like baseball so much. I always though cricket was a much more interesting game. Of course, nothing compares to football (or soccer, as you Yanks call it!)
Posted by: English Bob | March 29, 2007 at 09:04 AM
Gotta represent the D! Go Tigers!!!!!!
Posted by: Andrea | March 29, 2007 at 10:23 PM
Hmmmmmmm, Baby. Go Giants!
Posted by: Mel | March 30, 2007 at 03:34 PM
Buckeyes! Goin' to the national championship again! I just hope it doesn't end as badly as it did for the football team...
Posted by: L.A. Daddy | April 01, 2007 at 04:47 PM