A Strangely Odd Weekend

It's a given that my weekends haven't been the same ever since the Peanut came along.  Normally I wouldn't bore you with the ennui of my daily existence.  However, this weekend was a strange one so I thought I'd share the minutiae (along with, of course, a bunch of throwaway lines that belie the type of lazy writing that I usually detest.  Oh well.  Screw it.  Strange weekend indeed.)

Friday

The Peanut was sick and we had to keep her home from daycare so BossLady covered the morning shift and I volunteered to take the afternoon.  However, by the time I got home from the office, the Peanut seemed to be feeling much better and was itching to leave the apartment.  I decided to take her out for some afternoon tea at a local cafe, where she then proceeded to charm the pants off everyone entering the restaurant by greeting them with, "Hi, people!  I'm eating cake!"  Later, we spent the rest of the afternoon dancing around the apartment together to Dan Zanes.

There are very few things more life-affirming than sharing a cupcake with your two-year-old daughter and spending a few hours together doing silly dances. 

Friday Night

Most of my disposable income is spent on books, films, or scotch.  However, I've had my eye on the FoodSaver V2840 vacuum sealer system for quite awhile.  It finally arrived Friday afternoon and the reviews are right.  It's the greatest single kitchen invention since the microwave.  I spent a solid 3 hours vacuum-sealing everything in my fridge that wasn't nailed down.  BossLady practically had to pry my fingers off the damn thing.   

I wish I still smoked weed so I could start buying marijuana by the pound.

Saturday

I thought my street cred as a parent had been firmly established by now.  However, Saturday proved that the path of initiation is far from over.  As the Peanut and I strolled through Wal-Mart (looking for FoodSaver bags and accessories,) she threw up all over me, herself, and a good portion of Aisle 7.  Ensuing drama included a trip to the pediatrician and the dry cleaner.

My cashmere sweater now smells like an interesting admixture of cheerios, hash browns, Elmo juice, and bile. 

Saturday Night

MetroBro came over to play with the Peanut and have dinner with me and BossLady.  For some reason, the three of us decided to order in barbecue.  This is a total amateur move, kind of like going out partying the night before New Year's Eve.  Needless to say, we stuffed ourselves silly and I started frantically worrying about what we'd eat during the Super Bowl.  I spent the rest of the evening perusing delivery menus online.

As I searched various restaurants, I couldn't help but think what foods would be best suited for some good old-fashioned vacuum sealing. 

Sunday

A good friend's mother passed away and I needed to go to NJ for the wake.  I've known Chris since he was 7 years old.  Almost 31 years.  He's an only child and, in a short period of time, has lost both his parents.  Even worse, they both suffered horribly painful deaths after long bouts with cancer.  Although Chris is 33, he's much too young to be an orphan.  I vow to give Peanut siblings so she'll never face the loss of her parents alone. 

Afterwards, with tears still streaming down my face, I drove to a Korean grocery store so I could load up the car with kalbi (you know, for the vacuum sealer.) 

Sunday Night

We put the Peanut to bed.  I threw a couple of logs in the fireplace.  And BossLady ordered a bucket of chicken wings.  Super Bowl Sunday is about to start.  In all my life, I've never heard so much about race and religion as I did during the pre-game show.  At the end of a long weekend, can't a man just watch some football in peace?  Anyway, after 14 seconds, it becomes apparent that Jesus hates the Colts.  But wait!  Here come the Colts.  It looks like God wants the Bears to lose after all.  Hallelujah!  Go Indy!  Bears will burn in hell!  (By the way, does anyone else think that Rex Grossman should have been named MVP?  And can anyone settle a long-standing bet with my buddy Andrew about whether Rex Grossman is Jewish?)

With all the talk about God during the post-game show, I begin to wonder whether my vacuum sealer can turn water into wine.

If you could pick one thing from New York City for me to vacuum-seal and send to you (aside from a pound of marijuana,) what would it be?  I'm thinking of starting another contest soon and I could use some ideas for good prizes. 

Comments

[Julie C.]

You're not officially a parent until your child vomits on you at Wal-Mart. Congrats, MD. Welcome to the club!

[stephen]

I would love a carload of kalbi. Some decent kimchi would be nice too.

[L.A. Daddy]

Wal-Mart? Don't get me started.

Um, what I want to know is, with all this delicious food talk, how do you and BossLady not weigh like 500 pounds each?

I even see a chicken wings TV commercial and I gain five pounds... I'm beginning to not like you.

[Shannan]

How about one of those waify, bubbleheaded, wannabe supermodels in the vacuum sealer? Send her my way so I can fatten her up. I love my vacuum sealer but I think my hubby loves it more!

[dutch from sweet juniper]

$3.50 shawarma plate from the guys at sixth and 53rd. don't hold the mayonnaise sauce.

[JBL]

Pastrami, Russian dressing, and REAL rye bread. You can't get any of that good stuff here in Cleveland!

[KAT]

WHAT THE HELL IS ELMO JUICE?

[kara]

A piece of Sylvia Weinstock's red velvet cake! Please?

[Leeny]

Walmart?! You shop at Walmart? *Confession - I do, too.* For some reason, that rocks. You're smart, witty, funny, etc. times three, and yet you shop at Walmart like us regular folks. ;)

Hm, I don't know anything about NY food except what I see on TV so why don't you send me one of those street vendor hot dogs with the sauerkraut on top? That always looks good to me.

Thanks, MD! You're a good man.

[Rachel E.]

What I would really like you to vacuum-seal and send me the most is a good serving of the NY accent. I miss it terribly and always feel like I'm home when I hear it. But since that's not practical (or possible) my second and third choices would be a large cheese pizza and a good black and white cookie. You can't get a tasty one of either here in god-forsaken Georgia.

[Kvetch]

Vacuumed sealed from NYC? It's a toss up between bagels and a pound of corned beef. And a rye, of course.

[susie]

Peanut just added to the Wal-Mart ambiance. Thank you for using both ennui and belie in your opener. Those words are just not blogged enough. Vaccuum seal the really bad stinky diapers (not for your contest). For the contest, hmmm maybe a salty pretzel with a separate vaccuum sealed spicy mustard. And a slice. Would love a NY slice.

[Jen]

What happens if you vacuum a slice of bread? Does it magically go back to normal when you break the seal? Fresh, gooey and moist??? Or does it turn into a squished piece of dough? Inquiring minds wish to know!

[Emily]

First thing I would never as for a pound of pot, I am in Oregon, you should be asking me for pot. Dirty NY pot, feh. As for the food saver the hubby has been addicted to that thing for months now. You know it is a gateway appliance to the dehydrators. A slippery slope you are going down there buddy watch out.
And another thing, what the hell is Elmo Juice?

[CroutonBoy]

I'd like you to vacuum-seal a vacuum-sealer in a bag and send it to me. And I'd like to seal it with the vacuum-sealer that's being vacuum-sealed. Then--and only then--will I believe it's a better appliance than the George Forman Grill.

[nonlineargirl]

Bialy.

I know, the obvious answer from a NYC born Jew living on the west coat. I still miss 'em.

[David]

You know, if you really want to make sure the Peanut has siblings, you may want to use that vacuum sealer for putting away some--oh, never mind.

[Waya]

Oh, poor baby!! I hope she feels better. I'd rather take a watery diaper over pukes any day! At least it's contained, somewhat!

Hmm, what to vacuum sealed from NY? How about the b-b-q from Dinosaur? I saw that place on the "Hungry Detective" show and wondering how good can it be? Don't forget the gumbo and the jambalaya.

And I'm there with you on the race and religion thing with this Super Bowl! It was just TOO GD much! But I was glad the Colts won though, even though the Patriots should have beaten them in the Playoffs!

[Julia]

Rex Grossman as MVP?
Yes, definitely. Indy couldn't have done it without he and his heinous offense.

Vacuum Seal from NYC?
Garlic knots, bagels (I'm partial to a place in Astoria), and a dirty water dog.

[kmkat]

Some yarn from Habu Textiles. Not that it really needs to be vacuum sealed, but if it were I'd never have to worry about moths.

[kt]

bagel, lox & creamcheese, please!

[margalit]

I'm wondering if Rex Grossman is Jewish too. I'll have to investigate with my JewPosse.

As for what I'd want from NYC:

Raisin Pumpernickel bread from Astoria

Bell Lox, Sable, and white fish salad from Russ & Daughters

H&H bagels, but only pump, sissel, half&half, poppy seed, onion, bialys, and garlic. No frou frou bagels for this girl.

A good chocolate Babka

Rugulah, choc.chip, of course

and a decent egg cream

[Sisco]

New Beef King
89 Bayard St
I'll take anything--wet or dry.

[Em]

LOL! We must be on the same wavelength because for the past two weeks, all I've wanted is a food saver!

My other latest obsession has been soup-making and anyone who makes soup knows that it's impossible NOT to make an inhuman amount at one time. Here's an idea for you, make a bunch of soup and whatever you don't finish, vacuum seal into individual serving sizes and put them in the freezer. Then when you're in the mood for soup, instead of nuking or waiting for it to defrost, just simply put the bag in a pot of water and BOIL IN THE BAG! This would also work for various curries as well! Ingenious! If I don't say so myself! =D

Argh! I'm SO jealous! Happy sealing!

[christmas gomoe]

did you go to the korean butcher in Palisades Park? they're the best for kalbi. they also have killer sesame oil.

[Wendy Boucher]

I'll take some snow. Does it keep in a vacume bag?

[cazzableu]

- Fat Witch brownies from Chelsea market
- Pop burgers
- Rice pudding from Rice to Riches

[Mom101]

Does the entire island of Manhattan count as one thing?

Marina Del Rey could use a little bit of...okay, a LOT of Manhattan right now, as long as I'm in it. And no, not Manhattan Beach.

[kim]

i hear that you can get kimchi dogs at some street vendors that are supposed to be killer. mmm... salty goodness overload. vacuum-seal that with the standard fare of pizza, meat-on-a-stick and some yummy chinatown dim sum and i'll take your care package any day!

[Kymba]

I'm with Mrs. Kennedy - a tub of Zabar's cream cheese. Heaven!

[Superha]

Joe's Shanghai's soupy dumplings(PLEASE!!!) or some Ray's pizza (thin crust with lots of Italian sausage). Schweet!

[HostileHostess]

How about some of Amy Sedaris' cupcakes? Or the lobster roll from Mary's Fish Camp?

[elsu]

I was going to ask for a huge cup of MarieBelle's Aztec hot chocolate, but I didn't know you can't food-save liquids...someone posted something about freezing and then saving liquids? Does that work?

And yes, I've ordered the mix online to get my fix, but it never, ever comes out as good as in the shop. Maybe that's because I don't put heroin in it, like they obviously do.

[ThisGuy]

I've been vacuum-packing everything I can get my hands on since I got my FS for Christmas (I just sent your post to ThisWife). The last thing I packed? Pulled pork.

Since I'm in Brooklyn, I don't need NY foods, but I would export the following: the best falafel is at Azuri on 51st and 10th, Grimaldi's pizza is the shizzy, Junior's cheesecake is still pretty good (although the Times had an article on cheesecake a while back that claimed that there was better stuff out there, and I believe them) and after you have Peter Luger's bacon, all other bacon is somehow just a little bit less awesome. Of course, you could just send me a Luger's porterhouse (rare -- the only way beef should be cooked), and I'd be happy.

[Nothing But Bonfires]

ANYTHING from Dean and Deluca. Anything that's cheese, anyway.

[honglien123]

Can I answer the vacuum seal question after I visit NYC in April? What are some of your can't miss NYC things by the way?

And Walmart? Really? I always figured you for a Target shopper.

[Mikeymike]

I had a half pound of Humboldt.

But you're not into that anymore.

[Lisa]

MetroDad at Wal-Mart? Somehow I can't imagine it!

[Jonathon]

I'm obviously the last person in the world to comment on this post, but I just had to say: Amanda has one of these vaccuum sealers. You'd think she discovered gold she's so freakin excited. You two should talk.

[Jamie]

You and your friend Andrew crack me up, MD! My Jewish in-laws spent the entire Super Bowl debating whether Rex Grossman was Jewish or not. This led to long stories about all the Jewish Grossmans they DID know. For this goy, it was highly entertaining.

For the record, he's not Jewish.

[suz]

Hey MetroDad

Can I just tell you how funny I found this post to be. I work for the media company that buys TV time for the FoodSaver product. I am so glad that you actully LOVE and are obsessed this product since most of the products we push is just crap which ends up, mostly unused, at garage sales.

sorry, I just can't come up with anything clever for you FoodSaver, is that now a verb?

[pnuts mama]

"I wish I still smoked weed so I could start buying marijuana by the pound."
me.too.
sigh. doesn't look like those days are ever coming back, either. super.

you know what was so great about this post for me? as much as living here drives me nuts sometimes i just totally appreciated the fact that i can walk out my front door and get to all that food in less than an hour. hmm. sounds like a plan.

walmart? seriously? were you in jersey? how often do you go there, dude?

[Sophia Yen]

send me some la maison du chocolate!

or joe shanghai soup dumplings!

[Brian]

In my old age, I can't even smoke a hit of weed without getting a total pot hangover. Too bad. Now that I have kids, I think it'd come in handy every once in awhile.

[sun]

where is there a walmart around here? i'm a target shopper myself - the one in elmhurst isn't bad. the one at atlantic terminal is way too crowded.

[Charlie Kondek]

You read it here, folks. MetroBaby Number 2 is in the works! No, Pierre, no take-backs, you said it!

Moohahaha! *rubs hands* Please vacuum pack me a reuben from the Carnegie Deli and send it. And by the way, have you tried Highland Park scotch? Good stuff, very basic, got a bottle for... well, it was a belated birthday present (July) that I got for Christmas.

[curioustoter]

Can you even get good weed in NYC?

[Velma]

I'm still boggled by the Elmo juice.

All these food suggestions are fine, but if I won, I'd like a piece of art comprised of found objects from the streets of New York artfully arranged, sealed, and perhaps autographed.

[sweatpantsmom]

I've seen those vacuum sealers advertised on TV and always wondered, "Who the hell is buying these?"

NOW I KNOW.

Of course, this is from someone who owns the Rachel Ray Fondue Set (which ROCKS HARD by the way.)

[How About Two?]

Talk to Alternadad... he'll put the vacuum sealer to good use.