On weekend mornings, when the Peanut wakes up, the BossLady and I bring her into bed with us so we can catch a few more winks of sleep.
When we first started doing this, she was so excited that she'd jump on top of us and yell "Giddy Up!" Other times, she'd be completely rambunctious, therefore rendering the concept of additional sleep meaningless.
However, over the past two years, the BossLady and I have evolved into slightly smarter parents. Now, when we bring Peanut to bed, we get her to bide our intentions by making up fun games for her. So far, our two favorites are "Make-Believe Coma!" and "Who Can Closey Close Close Their Eyes the Longest?"
This weekend, I was nursing a Grade-A hangover from drinking Ketel One martinis until 4:00 in the morning. Thankfully, at 7:30 am when the Peanut woke up, the lovely and beautiful BossLady woke up, changed Peanut's diaper and brought her into our bed. Although my eyes were closed and my head lay still, I could feel the Peanut's face mere inches from my own. After a few minutes of feeling her stinky breath go up my nose (how can someone so small have breath like that?), I very slowly opened one eye to look at her. The Peanut was lying on her side staring straight at me and the second she saw my one eye open, she did the first thing that naturally entered her tiny, little mind...
SHE JAMMED HER THUMB STRAIGHT INTO MY EYE, YELLED "I LOSE!" AND STARTED LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY.
As soon as my vision returns and the swelling goes down, I'm sure I'll find this as funny as she does.
Over the weekend, BossLady bent over to pick up the Peanut and ended up throwing out her back. The doctor determined that it was a severe muscle pull (as opposed to a slipped disc.) However, my poor wife is in severe pain and there's nothing I can do about it. She spent all day yesterday writhing on the floor in pain. Poor Peanut knew something was wrong and kept coming over intermittently to plant a wet kiss on mommy's cheek and brush her hair. I think that may have done more good for the BossLady than all the Vicodin in the world. Maybe.
Early Saturday morning. 90 minutes waiting in line. A crowd of Impatient parents. Unruly children all over the place. Frazzled nerves. A fat man in a Santa suit. And for what?
A VIRTUAL REPEAT OF LAST YEAR'S PHOTO!!!
Are you kidding me? If you look closely and compare this to last year's photo, you may even notice that it's the same fucking Santa! In fact, when the Peanut was about to climb on his lap, I started joking around with him about last year's experience. All of sudden, he takes a close look at the Peanut and goes, "NOW I REMEMBER HER!"
I cannot believe this happened two years in a row!
On the upside, at least we closed out the weekend by ordering in some pizza and watching my boy Yul kick ass and win "Survivor." Congrats, my brother!