The Doctor and I have been speaking to each other on the phone
almost every day for the past 25 years. We used to joke that nothing
in our lives really happened until the other person heard about it.
Today, for example, the Doctor told me an awesome story about
performing surgery on a 275 pound Irish construction worker who spends
his free time fighting illegally in Brooklyn basements (a la "Fight
Club.") The guy just had his finger reattached three weeks ago after
someone literally BROKE IT OFF in a fight.
During the course of his procedure, this guy regaled the Doctor with stories about his years training in jujitsu, the time he bit off someone's nose, and how much money he makes for each fight ($2,000 if he wins.)
The Doctor and I were amazed! We talked about what total pussies we were and how if we ever found ourselves forced to fight in a Brooklyn basement, we'd probably crap all over our Hugo Boss boxer shorts. These "Fight Club" guys probably knew 100 ways to kill us just by LOOKING in our general direction!
The Doctor and I are not tough. We kill with sarcasm and our favorite weapon is a loofah. In fact, while talking about underground brawls and the movie "Fight Club," we ended up getting completely sidetracked into a 20-minute debate about whether Brad Pitt's clothes in the film were designed by John Varvatos, Alexander McQueen, or John Galliano.
You see, my friends, I have a confession to make...
Before the Peanut arrived into our lives and rendered the concept of disposable income completely laughable, I was somewhat of a clothes horse.
Don't get me wrong. It's not like I used to gussy myself up in sartorial splendor. It's more that I have always adamantly refused to wear the requisite clothing that has somehow been deemed societally appropriate for men of my age (khakis, button-down oxfords, loafers, sweatshirts, polar fleece pullovers, navy blazers---I am congenitally allergic to all of those things.)
What would you expect from a man whose mother dressed him in leopard-print bathing suits when he was a boy?
For the most part, I usually wear the same thing every day---dark jeans, dark shirt, black urban boots. Really, if you ever saw me, you would never imagine that I was the kind of guy who spent more than a few minutes thinking about his daily wardrobe (that insouciant style requires a lot of work, people!)
My lovely daughter, the Peanut, being two years old, seems to have inherited my interest in fashion. These days, she's particularly obsessed with her socks. If I don't put the right socks
on her feet, she will go into complete meltdown mode. She's also quite fond of creating her own outfits.
A few months ago, we bought the Peanut two items: a pair of jeans
and a miniature Hello Kitty umbrella. She loves the jeans immensely
because the pockets are deep enough that she can put both hands in them
and jump up and down like a jackhammer. And naturally, she likes the
umbrella because it is pink, cute and makes her feel like a big girl.
I tell you all of this because, last weekend, the BossLady and I were hanging out in the living room. Things were abnormally quiet in the Peanutsphere and we were starting to get concerned. Just as we were about to check up on her, she came prancing into the room topless, wearing only her jeans, swinging her little umbrella, and singing "Old McDonald."
I almost peed my pants laughing, it was so funny. It was like a gay stage production of "M. Butterfly" meets "Singin' in the Rain."
Today, we didn't feel like butting heads with the Peanut over her wardrobe choices so we let her wear whatever she wanted. Being a fan of mixing and matching disparate styles to create her own look, the Peanut apparently decided that nothing says lazy Sunday like a snowboard hat, an art smock and a Hello Kitty handbag.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you the latest outfit from the Peanut Kim 2006 Holiday Collection...
Fashion...it changes so quickly these days. Who can keep up?
I'm pretty sure we'll all see giant yoga balls rolling down all the Paris runways ;-)
Posted by: Chris | December 12, 2006 at 03:56 PM
MUST show this to my husband. Every single day, he wears khakis, a button-down oxford, loafers, and a navy blazers. I've been trying to change his style for YEARS! He LOVES your site so maybe this will convince him to change up his style! Can't hurt!
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Posted by: J. Darrow | December 12, 2006 at 05:03 PM
The ball is a rather large accessory, however, I thought I saw something similar on Project Runway this year.
Posted by: MothersKnowBest | December 12, 2006 at 07:33 PM
LinLo wore that MONTHS ago. But The Peanut looks waaaay cuter.
Posted by: samantha Jo Campen | December 12, 2006 at 07:46 PM
It's the giant yoga ball that makes the outfit. If I could walk around with a giant ball that a) complimented my skin tone, and b) made me look tiny and gamine, I could rock a Cinderella smock avec toque, too.
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | December 12, 2006 at 07:50 PM
I'm diggin your blog! Great post, the peanut is a cutie pie! You had me laughing!
Cheers!
Posted by: rashenbo | December 12, 2006 at 08:54 PM
Shoot. I was going to get myself one of those handbags but now they'll all be on waitlists and such. Dang. Tell Peanut I want to buy a Hello Kitty lunch box and I better not see her with one on this blog before I've got it securely in hand.
Posted by: Wendy Boucher | December 12, 2006 at 09:44 PM
Hyung,
If you want, I fight on a semi-pro basis. I can teach you the ways of the octagon.
Posted by: Mike | December 12, 2006 at 10:25 PM
So who DID design Brad Pitt's outfits in "Fight Club"?
Posted by: Whitney | December 12, 2006 at 10:45 PM
Found you via the ROFL awards and have spent the past 3 hours going through your archives. I LOVE your blog. It's so great reading about parenting from the Dad perspective. Can't wait to read more!
Posted by: Lisa V. | December 12, 2006 at 11:51 PM
I think she looks like a perfect little downtown girl, as she should. I wouldn't argue with true artistry. It comes from the inside - you can't fight it.
Posted by: Mom101 | December 13, 2006 at 09:08 AM
Could Peanut be any cuter?? LN has a hat fetish - she will put on a different hat for different activity. Metrodad, that little girl of yours is too beautiful for words. You may want to invest in bodyguards 10-15 years later - too many boys will be hovering around! Her fashion statement? Well, I won't be too surprised to see something similar soon on the streets of Paris.
Posted by: Mama Nabi | December 13, 2006 at 12:55 PM
I'm impressed she let you take her picture. My Two-Year-Old often gets all cuted-up in dress-up clothes of her choosing ... but then turns shy the moment we act impressed or pull out the camera.
Posted by: BadHairDad | December 13, 2006 at 04:03 PM
Our little girl goes into a ragin hissy if we dare suggest she wear pants. Only dresses for her - nothing else. We finally had to set up a rule that if it is raining, she can't wear a dress. Of course, now every morning she asks, "Is it raining?"
Posted by: JGS | December 13, 2006 at 04:47 PM
The PNut strikes again...adorable as ever!
Considerin' her parents, she can't help but have style (from you) and class (from her mommi). She's a natural at it!
Posted by: LeeMarvin | December 13, 2006 at 07:29 PM
Excellent choices! I'm in the same boat -- I am a bit of a GQ whore. And I watch What Not To Wear. And I help pick out LA Mommy's clothes... and I played football in college. Top that!
The First Rule of Fashion... Always Make Fun of Other's Fashion Disasters.
Posted by: L.A. Daddy | December 13, 2006 at 10:47 PM
She's workin' that smock alright.
Now, I can't get the image out of my head of you and The Doctor, clad only in towels (Calvin Klein Home, of course) recreating a scene from Star Wars using loofahs instead of light sabers.
Make it stop!
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | December 14, 2006 at 03:25 PM
The Peanut is too cute for words! I LOVE that outfit (if only I were that stylish.)
Posted by: S.Barron | December 14, 2006 at 11:36 PM
omg. she looks so old. what a beauty! too funny.
Posted by: bitemycookie | December 18, 2006 at 03:40 PM
What are you talking about? She's totally in! Just buy her subscription to Lucky now.
Posted by: the weirdgirl | December 18, 2006 at 04:34 PM
Yeah. We plan on letting our little one dress herself when appropriate and so folks don't think we're crazy or whatever, I am going to make her an awesome button pin that says, "YAY! I DRESSED MYSELF TODAY!"
Flipping sweet.
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Well Mom and Dad can still dress hot and in style. This site, www.TattooApparel.com has Rock Star clothing that makes great Musician Stagewear and Premium Brand Streetwear. Check out the DOCTRINE Apparel, Rebel Spirit Clothing, Mission Tattoo Art Shirts, Hause of Howe, Hendrix Collection, English Laundry, Fender Custom Shop and the Rocker Jewelry.
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