A MetroDad Hannukah

One of the great things about growing up in New York City was being exposed to so many different cultures. 

When I was younger, my friends and I were like pint-sized versions of the United Nations.  On any given day, you could find us doing random things like eating homemade Pakistani food and listening to Jamaican house music while getting dressed to attend a Russian friend's confirmation.  The influences of all our various cultures couldn't help but rub off on all of us. 

However, despite the fact that I had such a multicultural group of friends, my two best friends growing up were both Jewish.  Hence, like many New Yorkers, I consider myself an honorary Jew. 

In solidarity, I've fasted on Yom Kippur.  I've feasted at many Passover seders.  And I've been to so many Shabbat dinners that I can practically recite the kiddush in my sleep.  Heck, the BossLady and I were even married by a rabbi (We didn't know he was a rabbi. We thought he was a judge.  Turns out he was both.)

Anyway, I won't go into it all now but I've got a long-standing theory regarding the possibility that Koreans are the Lost Tribe of Israel.  Love of potato pancakes?  Check.  Self-loathing senses of humor?  Check.  Chicken soup as the cure for every malady?  Check.  Unmitigated use of guilt as a parenting tool?  DOUBLE-CHECK!

Last week, I was IM'ing with a friend of mine and we both realized just how Jewish I had become...

Drew:  The Yankees might sign Doug Mientkiewicz.  Another Jewish player in NY!

ME: Mientkiewicz isn't Jewish.

Drew:  What?  Are you sure?  What about Shawn Green?

ME:  Not a REAL Jew.  He's got a tattoo.

Drew:  Good point.

ME:  Also, his mother isn't jewish.  Only his father.  Even Temple Emmannuel woudn't let him through the door!  Baal Tshuva!

Drew: You're starting to scare me. 

ME: Kadosh Adonai Eloheynu, my Sephardic brother! 

Drew:  You might have something with that Lost Tribe theory, freak! 

The Peanut attends a completely non-denominational daycare center.  In fact, BossLady and I specifically went out of our way to ensure that the school was as secular as possible. 

The school is so secular that when I volunteered to come in last week and sing holiday songs to the kids, the teachers took great pains to ensure that any song I chose had no religious overtones or nuances.  No "Silent Night, Holy Night."  No "Little Drummer Boy."  As a guideline, they recommended that I sing the kids songs like "Frosty the Snowman."

So imagine my surprise when the Peanut came home yesterday with a Happy Hannukah card!  The front of the card was clearly drawn by the teachers.  There was a giant finger-painted Star of David adorning the cover.  However, the inside of the card was completely drawn by the Peanut. 

I believe the blob in the middle is a menorah.  And I'm not sure but I think the little cubes surrounding it are miniature dreidels.  Either way, I find it more than a little hilarious that my two-year old daughter made me a Hannukah card.

I guess the Te’enah doesn't fall far from the tree.

.

Comments

[Clement]

First!

[Clement]

First!

[Lauren]

Funny, I'm a Jewish woman who married into a Catholic family. If my ancestors ever saw me take communion at church, they'd roll over in their graves!

[Son of Sam Horn]

Mientkiewicz isn't Jewish? I could have sworn when he was with the Red Sox, he had a Jewish fan club.

[KC]

Those card innards are a Rorschach inkblot test. Looks like lox and bagels to me. (growing up I thought I might have been Jewish in a previous life. In fact, at my friend's bat mitzvah, I convinced a boy that I hailed from a Jewish community in rural China. When I started singing a Jewish song accompanied by the appropriate hand motions, his jaw dropped. IT'S TRUE!)

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

Yeah, my Dad was Jewish and my Mom is Protestant and we don't count as Jewish. It has to be the mother.

[Melissa]

For some reason the best part of this post to me is your tag, Korean Jews. I don't know why but I've continued to say it to myself for the last five minutes.

Well Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and a joyful Kwansa to you my friend.

[L.]

Merry Christmakwanzah to you, MD.

My late grandmother used to joke, "If you had to marry a non-Catholic, couldn`t you at least have married a nice Jewish boy?"

To which I would say, "But Gramma! I did marry a JAP!"

She didn`t get it.

[Leslie]

LOVE your theory about Koreans being the lost tribe of Israel. I had a Korean friend in college and she had the same theory. I went to her house once and, inside her parents' fridge, they had both kimchi and whitefish salad. Maybe you're both right!

[Jonathon]

That's the best-looking Hannukah card I've seen all year.

[nonlineargirl]

So are you Sephardic or Ashkenazi? (Food seems like the main difference, so choose carefully.)

[emzeegee & the hungry three]

Actually I've had this theory for a while - that Asians in general are really Jews in disguise (or the other way around?!). Same importance placed on family, education, getting a profession (doctor, please!), not (god forbid!) insulting your family or ruining your good name, decent food, the importance of marrying well and of course, parental guilt.

Yeah, I'd say we're all part of the Tribe.

[David]

Christmas, schmyssmas: I'm an athiest and all I want are a few presents, happy kids and a week off work. If I have to sing Silent Night to get it, who cares? Frosty the Snowman, my ass. Songs like that have no class.

[Papa Bradstein]

It's good to see that you found a school that can teach the Peanut about her roots.

[William]

Well Happt Hannukah to you then.

[misfithausfrau]

That is AWESOME!

[Steven]

Dude, all my Korean friends are practically Jewish. I think your theory might have some merit.

[rblaustein@nyc.rr.com]

Holy crap, that's one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. Happy Hannukah, MetroDad!

[Rachel]

this brought back memories! i am jewish, grew upon the lower east side and went to elementary school in chinatown (ps 124, near confucius (sp?) plaza). i did the ribbon dance in the chinese new year show, played chinese jumprope, and still know how to say happy new year in chinese (gung hay fat choy!). now that i'm an adult i must admit most of my friends are jewish, and its a loss. we plan to send our daughter to public school in the hopes of getting to see her do the ribbon dance someday!

[merseydotes]

God bless secular preschool. My daughter brought home a blue, painted Star of David, which she insisted we stick on an ornament hook and hang on our Christmas tree. And then when were in the bathroom at our (Episcopal) church preparing her for the Christmas pageant, she warmed herself up by singing, 'Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel.' I was like, 'Honey, the Dreidel song is great, but today it's AWAY IN A MANGER. Remember that one?'

Ah, irony.

[abba-daddy]

nothing like a new view of the holiday.
I love the presents, love the fire, love the holidays (when i'm here)

Happy Hanuka and many wishes for the new year to come

[JJ Daddy-O]

I am an Irish Catholic raised on the Upper West Side so, of course, that means I'm at least half Jewish.
Summers at Camp Yomi at the 92nd St Y? Check. Exclamations about the habits of die goyim? ("I can't believe they named their kid after her mother- she's still living! Oy!") Check. Regular infusions of the food of the Chosen People- Ratner's, Katz's, Famous Dairy and Barney Greengrass? Check.
Now our daughter has been going to summer camp at the local JEA and it's like deja vu all over again- she can recite the bracha and quiz our parish priest about Hashem and Queen Esther.
Next year in Jerusalem, landsleit, Im Yirtzeh Hashem!

[spygirl]

Do you know the jewish/korean theory is shared by a lot of ppl? Both cultures have a strong community for each other, both move to below-average income neighborhoods but through a strong, internal community and heavy emphasis on education, both end up prospering and moving to upper-middle class suburbs while still having mom/pop businesses in the below-avg-income urban areas. And both are small populations, but strong and wiry considering they are surrounded by big, powerful nations trying to take their homeland, which further builds that intense community.

[Leeny]

Ack! Typepad ate my comments! I was wondering why is the school secular if they are sending home Hannakuh cards? Do they also expose the little ones to other cultures' practices such as Kwanza, Christmas, Muslim, etc.? I think society's institutions that label themselves as "secular" in order to avoid offense do a great disservice to children and adults. The learning and growing experience that comes with teaching diversity about other peoples' cultures are integral and important in learning tolerance, IMO. Not ragging on Peanut's school specifically, MD, I'm just maybe rambling.

*steps off soapbox*

I love that card! The blue and gold are beautiful. You probably already do this but I dated my daughter's art and now my stepdaughter's so that we'd remember in the future when it was created.

[NtycnBoricua]

That is absolutely adorable! What a great artist she is! ;)

http://ntycnboricua.blogspot.com

[sandy]

Happy HHannnuukkach, my gentile brother!

[Waya]

All I can think of while reading this post is that Adam Sandler's "The Chanuka song". He might have to change his lyrics to "MetroDad thinks he's a Jew!" ;-)

I wish you and your family a warm and joyous Christhanuka!! And a happy healthy New Year Pierre!!

[Adam W.]

This is freaking hilarious. I can't wait to pass it on to my fellow Jews.

"The Te’enah doesn't fall far from the tree?" That made me snort pepsi out of my nose. You crack me up, MD.

[Kristen]

Ha! Your theory is hilarious. And I'd say it holds water - who could dispute all of your supporting evidence?

The Peanut's card is awesome...!

[BossLady]

You should all know that Koreans are also the Irish of the East.

[coco]

My husband is Korean with a Jewish last name (step dad)and often when I describe my mother in law people my tribe friends nod thinking I am taking about a Jewish woman-esp when I talk about how she tried to feed us as soon as we walk in her door.

[JJ Daddy's Baby Momma]

Little Mary Sunshine, my devout Episcopalian just sang the Bracha over the latkes her friend Abraham's mom was cooking at their public Montessori school.

Our attempts at multi-culturalism are a little skewed here in the Deep South. JJ Daddy just went to LMS's holiday show, where they sang various carols, a Kwanzaa song, and "This is the month of Ramadan" to the tune of B-I-N-G-O. I guess JJ Daddy was about the only one in the audience to recognize that it wasn't, actually.

[KG]

Happy ALL holidays to you and yours, MD.

Peanut's painting rocks. Kid art is so genuine and heartfelt. The kid's cuteness goes right into the painting, and you've got that captured forever!

[Josh]

You know more Hebrew than I do, my Sephardic brother! Maybe Koreans really are the lost tribe.

[samantha Jo Campen]

You freakin' crack me up.

Kids in junior high and high school thought I was Jewish because apparently (APPARENTLY!) my nose is kinda big. WTF? And they were all disappointed that I wasn't because they wanted 'A Jewish Friend' so they could check it off their list or something. Wow. Gotta love the 'burbs!

[Mom101]

This MOT couldn't be happier to have you in the tribe, if only as an honorary member. In fact, I thing you could teach me a few things!

[Kvetch]

How much do I love MetroDad? Let me count the ways. Achad, Shteim, Shalosh, Arba. (1,2,3,4 in Hebrew) I love all your posts but this one obviously hit home for me! You take "why can't we all get along" to a new level - because you do it so well. I think you might like this, even though you're an honorary NY Jew, which is a close cousin to a Philly Jew, like me. I, am an honorary Chicago Jew, even with their silly verbiage. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/chi-0612170001dec17,1,5316253.story

[abq sue]

I had some Korean roommates last year. Children used apa and ama for Hebrew abba and imma. Lots of chicken soup as you said. Maybe they are descended from Joseph and Aasenath. Might explain unique looks.Got into this because we have our own lost tribe in New Mexico of crypto-Jews.