Today I turned 38, an occurrence that normally would provoke some self-reflection or introspection.
Unfortunately, I'm still suffering from the Saturday night birthday celebration, an evening that entailed a small group of friends, the consumption of multiple bottles of vodka, and an entire slew of doting grandparents who coalesced to cumulatively take all of our respective children away for the entire weekend.
Given a weekend furlough from the normal rigors of parenting, a few of us married couples went out for a night out on the town. Many of us were clearly out of practice so we paid dearly for it on Sunday. Yesterday, I woke up at noon and was desperate for something to clear the cobwebs out of my brain. I tried a wide variety of traditional medicines (Advil, Pepto Bismol, Alka Seltzer) but they seemed to have no palliative effect. In desperation, I then turned to some more homeopathic recipes (pizza, Chinese food, McDonalds) but nothing seemed to do the trick. What was wrong? Why did my head continue to feel as if I'd spent a weekend with the L.A.P.D.? Why was my stomach churning like Vesuvius?
Oh yeah...that's right. I'm 38 years old.
Needless to say, this two-day-old hangover is acutely confirming the fact that I am no longer a spring chicken. Despite my youthful demeanor and boyish deportment, I think it's safe to say that my best partying days are beyond me.
However, for one brief evening, it was a hell of a lot of fun.
And if I need any physical reminders of my evening and its lingering effects, I need only look down at my feet. Whereas my right one seems to be wearing a sock of a bluish color, my left one is cocooned in one that is a very dark brown. It's like my feet are having a circus party! Woo hoo! Happy birthday to me, indeed.
Happy, Happy Birthday. You don't look a day over 37...
Posted by: Kemp | November 06, 2006 at 11:21 AM
What a great way to celebrate your birthday. (I meant the QT with friends and loved ones, not the monster hangover).
But it's not all about age I think. It's practice. You need to practice much more.
Posted by: KC | November 06, 2006 at 11:30 AM
Dear sweet Linus,
I never realized how much into ajuhsshi land you were. Do you have goodoo with the heels crushed in? If not, you should get some.
Posted by: Mike | November 06, 2006 at 11:44 AM
You kids today - can't run with the big dogs anymore, huh?
Hell, who am I kidding? If I tried partying like I once did, I'd have to have Mrs. Big Dubya call in a priest the next morning and perform last rites.
Anyway, Happy Birthday from one of your elders.
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | November 06, 2006 at 11:45 AM
Happy birthday, MD! Sounds like you had a really fun time.
Posted by: leora | November 06, 2006 at 11:56 AM
Happy b-day Pierre!! Did you enjoy the belly dancer we sent over?! ;-)
Posted by: Waya | November 06, 2006 at 12:09 PM
Happy Birthday dude! Sounds like your party kicked ass. Huzzah!
PS: Don't feel bad, I was hungover for two days after my 21st birthday. It may not be your age.
Maybe.
Posted by: Jonathon | November 06, 2006 at 12:17 PM
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: Busy Mom | November 06, 2006 at 12:26 PM
38! Holy crap you're old, mate. Not as old as me but still pretty damn old! Just kidding, MD. Have a great day.
Posted by: Ian | November 06, 2006 at 12:29 PM
Happy b-day! You know what I always eat when I have a stomach-churning hangover? A bowl full of warm mayonnaise.
Posted by: Jason | November 06, 2006 at 12:37 PM
Happy Birthday!
It must have been the full moon because I trashed my liver Saturday night as well.
Sunday I swore over and over to never let it happen again.
Sadly, I know it will.
Posted by: Peter | November 06, 2006 at 12:40 PM
Happy Birthday! At 32 I feel the same way after a night out!
Posted by: Mary | November 06, 2006 at 12:41 PM
Happy Birthday!
What a great gift from the doting grandparents. If recovery only takes a coupla' days and a coupla' mismatched socks, it sounds like it was worth it.
Posted by: Papa Bradstein | November 06, 2006 at 12:44 PM
Wow! And, I thought 30 was old. I don't even want to *think* about being 38. Hope you a great birthday despite your advanced age. :-0
Posted by: madmom | November 06, 2006 at 12:46 PM
Happy, happy birthday.
You youngun' you...
Posted by: Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom | November 06, 2006 at 12:47 PM
happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear metro dad, happy birthday to you!
*sung a bit off key and very loudly*
Posted by: Jenn | November 06, 2006 at 12:52 PM
Happy Birthday, MD!
Posted by: Deanna | November 06, 2006 at 01:00 PM
Happy Birthday from a 28 year old. =)
Posted by: honglien123 | November 06, 2006 at 01:20 PM
Happy Birthday! :)
I plan on celebrating the 33 Days of Pattie next year for my birthday. Because it feels like the thing to do since I'll become a palindrome, age-wise.
Posted by: Pattie | November 06, 2006 at 01:27 PM
Happy Birthday! Make it a good one!!
Posted by: Dana | November 06, 2006 at 01:48 PM
Dam Metro, you know it's bad when the homeopathic remedies don't work. I hope you feel better soon, it sounds like it was worth it though.
Happy Birthday old man.
Posted by: Melissa | November 06, 2006 at 01:59 PM
Happy Birthday, MD!
Posted by: GIRL'S GONE CHILD | November 06, 2006 at 02:16 PM
Happy Birthday Metro Dad...it's MY BIRTHDAY TOO!
I turned 31 and am also suffering from the dreaded two day hangover.....although the wine today at lunch helped IMMENSELY.
Cheers to you my friend....from your birthday buddy north of the border.
Posted by: wn | November 06, 2006 at 02:18 PM
Happy Birthday buddy. So glad you're catching up to us really old guys.
Posted by: Hygiene Dad | November 06, 2006 at 02:18 PM
Happy Birthday, MD! I know how you feel - at 38, I was miserably hungover after partying with a varied age group of friends. Never had it quite that bad in my younger days. Anymore? No way, Jose! Two glasses of red wine and/or a vodka shot is about all I can handle anymore!
Posted by: Leeny | November 06, 2006 at 02:36 PM
Greasy Chinese noodles and dumplings are my hangover remedy. If those don't work, nothing ever will. Happy birthday, Metro.
Posted by: A.Tsai | November 06, 2006 at 02:45 PM
Happy Birthday. I am surprised you did not resort to more Vodka for the hangover. It works for me.
Posted by: William | November 06, 2006 at 02:49 PM
have a few bloody marys, md...with or without vodka. the tomato juice is a great hangover helper. hope you have a fun bday.
Posted by: lisa | November 06, 2006 at 02:52 PM
Happy Birthday! You're right, the hangovers are so much worse these days. From my New Orleans days, the ultimate hangover cure is a really Tabasco-y bloody mary. Got me through many a Mardi Gras.
Don't feel bad about the socks. The other day I was in the drugstore and looked down to discover that I was wearing two different shoes. And I wasn't even hung over.
Posted by: weigooksaram | November 06, 2006 at 03:20 PM
Happy Birthday! I can't handle the boozing anymore either, but I lasted until 39...now it's impossible to fix a hangover without just chopping my head off and sticking it in a closet.
Cheers!
Posted by: kelly | November 06, 2006 at 03:38 PM
I celebrated my 40th a few weeks ago with some old college buddies. I STILL feel like hell but it sure was fun. Happy birthday, MD.
Posted by: Joseph | November 06, 2006 at 04:30 PM
Happy Birthday MD! Sounds very similar and I'm 6 years younger! I think it's the whole parent thing...
Posted by: Alison | November 06, 2006 at 04:45 PM
How great is is that all the grandparents took the kids for the weekend? That would be the greatest birthday present ever! Glad you and your friends seemed to make the most of it. Recuperation sucks. Happy birthday, Metro!
Posted by: Julie C. | November 06, 2006 at 04:48 PM
A nice healthy run or bike ride to Krispy Kreme usually helps treat the hang over and if that doesn't work... drive there.
Posted by: Patch | November 06, 2006 at 05:00 PM
A big glass of water and two ibuprofen taken the night of the imbibing would have prevented that hangover.
Not that I'm any help *now*.
Happy Birthday!
Posted by: candace | November 06, 2006 at 06:10 PM
Ummm usually go for the thing with the dried seahorses in it...when I see seahorses in a jar with a bunch of twigs and leaves I see powerful medicine. Oh wait...um bear parts work great too. Oh wait a sec you're Cal alumni...you're out of SonomaComa? We disown you.
Posted by: Henri | November 06, 2006 at 08:48 PM
Oh pleeeeeze. Thirty fricking eight! You're still a baby. And IIRC, last year on your b'day you wanted some sympathy too. Well, you get NOTHING from me, child. You're a toddler in the world of time. You've got years and years to go. Plenty of hangovers to experience. Many nights of mismatched socks are before you. And then, when you reach 54, my age, you'll REALLY know what it feels like to be O L D.
Happy Birthday, Phillipe. You're as young as you feel...oh, that might not be appropriate when you are hung over. Sorry.
Posted by: margalit | November 06, 2006 at 08:53 PM
Happy Birthday MD!!
And thank you for making my mornings at the office a little easier.
Posted by: maddy | November 06, 2006 at 08:54 PM
Today is my birthday too! Although I'm sorry to tell you you've got three years on me. I, however, have two kids so that automatically makes me feel at least ten years older than you so.....
Stayed up until 2 a.m. drinking Jim Beam around a fire pit with my high school girlfriends on Saturday night, and I'm still feeling sluggish. The last time I was up that late was this past July when I was in full blown labor with our now four month old son (we also have a 3 1/2 year old son). Lesson learned - the aftermath of childbirth is easier than dealing with caring for two children under the age of four with a hangover.
Cheers to you and happy birthday Metrodad!
Posted by: Michelle | November 06, 2006 at 09:00 PM
Senghil chukha hamnida! It's funny, but when I was thinking about work, this exact same quote popped into my head.
Posted by: enygma | November 06, 2006 at 09:35 PM
Eeeewwwwww, don't listen to Jason...looks like the consensus seems to be a little hair of the dog...happy birthday!!
Posted by: Corky | November 06, 2006 at 09:44 PM
Happy Birthday! Hope you can ready this. Sorry, I don't think I can make the font any bigger for you. (Soon you'll need birthday cards in large type.) Glad you had fun celebrating! Here's to a wonderful, healthy year!
Posted by: momto3cubs | November 06, 2006 at 10:28 PM
That was supposed to say, "Hope you can read this." I guess I'm ready for large type also.
Posted by: momto3cubs | November 06, 2006 at 10:29 PM
Dude - a very happy birthday to you! Hope you recover quickly...
Posted by: IFLYG | November 06, 2006 at 10:53 PM
Happy Birthday, Dude!
Posted by: Chag | November 06, 2006 at 11:47 PM
Happy B-Day, my friend. The secret is now, and always shall be, drinking a shit-load of water when you get home, and club soda and bitters when you wake up. Or did you go to some wussy school that didn't teach their students the fine art of hangover cures?
Now grab that walker and get yourself back to the senior center for that Neil Diamond cover band...
Posted by: CroutonBoy | November 06, 2006 at 11:51 PM
Happy birthday!! 38? h
Hey, that's nothing! I'm turning 50 (FIFTY! FIVE-OH!) at the end of this month!!
Carol
Posted by: Carol | November 07, 2006 at 12:01 AM
Happy Birthday, you Monkey! Both my husband and daughter are monkeys, woo-hoo!
You ain't a spring chicken anymore but you could be King Cock! ;-)
Posted by: Big Pumpkin | November 07, 2006 at 01:40 AM
Happy Birthday MD!
I heard some crazy talk recently that Tabasco mixed with some lime juice was magic for a hangover. I've been dying for someone to try it out...
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | November 07, 2006 at 02:23 AM
Happy Birthday MetroDad!
Can't help you with the hangover, know the feeling. How did I ever manage to live on beers, whiskey, three hours sleep and no hangover?!
Posted by: barbex | November 07, 2006 at 04:17 AM