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November 30, 2006

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Meg

May the Cusack crush continue to bond us thirtysomething girls FOREVAH.

And Jake Ryan! OMG! Nice sweater vest.

Vanessa

That is so bizarre. We just discovered our nanny's blog this past weekend and have been busy reading through her entire archives. So far, so good.

misfithausfrau

Nothing wrong with a little bit of John Cusack/Lloyd Dobler crushing.

Oh, and, "Your shoes, they make you look bi-curious"--best.line.EVER on that show.

How About Two?

"My friend Kin did it once and the first week he was here, he got hit by a car three times".

The same car?! Wow, that driver had his number.

Leora

I married my husband because he reminded me of Lloyd Dobler!

Anne Glamore

All I can say is that James G. needs to email me quickly if his wife has a b'day or anniversary coming up. He needs to go ahead and stock up on some apologetic jewelry and a gift certificate to a very nice spa. I have suggestions. And James, these gifts are for you to give HER, after she's through kicking your ass.

Happy New Year. Hmph.

Mom101

I am laughing so hard! I think you could be the next Ann(thony?) Landers.

However I take issue with two notions: 1) I actually am in love with John Cusack, not Lloyd Dobler. I even got up close enough to him once to smell him and he was dee-licious.

2)30 rock? Really? I let it go at the first reference but...

really?

navi

don't ditch you're wife on new years if she's got the kids to bed and is waiting w/ a bubble bath and a bottle of wine.

Brent

I have to admit that I tend to overuse catch phrases that I hear on television. In fact, there was a time several years ago that whenever one of my kids acted up or threw a tantrum, I'd point to them and say, "your're fired."

Yes, the Donald Trump method of parenting.

Velma

MD, you are such a brilliant and wise man. No, wait...that's not the phrase I was looking for..."wise dude?" Nope, that's not it. OH! "Wise ass!" THAT'S the phrase I was looking for!

I can't believe Mom101 got to smell John Cusack. I dream of smelling him. My life would be complete with one tiny little whiff of him. Barely a sniff, really.

MetroDude

I can't believe Kin got hit by the same car 3 times (ok, someone else beat me to the punch on that one but grammatical errors are so rare for you that it is worth pointing out). I did once shoot an elephant in my pajamas ...

Hilarious blog. My favorite of yours so far, by the way.

I did know it was the end of Western Civilization when my 4 year old daughter came up to me and said, after offering to finally go to bed if we gave her an additional evening juice box, "DEAL OR NO DEAL?"

Ahhh, TV. Least she isn't on www.tmz.com yet.

Carol

Loved the stuff about Berkeley! See, I was born there in '56 (yesterday, 50 years ago, actually...) and until I left to go to college in '79, I completely assumed that Berkeley was (at least fairly) NORMAL!

Don't all 6th graders pass time by playing chamber music in a neighbor's garage? Didn't the whole world -- schools, city governments, etc. --observe the Vietnam war moratorium every third Friday in the 60's? Was my mom's job as a hippie professor at Cal really even the slightest bit weird?

Um... turns out -- YEAH, it *is* a different sort of place!

So guess how I rebeled when we moved to the Peninsula when I was in high school? I joined Young Life and became a varsity cheerleader and dated the captain of the football team! There was absolutely no better way to piss off my parents and get to ask themselves where they went wrong!!

So now I have four teens and young adults. Wanna guess how they've been parented??

Carol

JP

Alright, MD. Based on your recommendation, I watched 30 Rock for the first time today. I'm hooked. Freaking hilarious!

L.

My daughter lost interest in "That`s So Raven" when she and her friends moved on to...Hannah Montana.

MetroDude

Watched 30 Rock just now for first time too.

"Beeper King" and "Rat King."

Unreal.

Superha

Hey, I worked for Lou Dobbs one winter back in college. Uh, masturbate is probably the last word I would have associated with him. Superha has spoken...

KC

Great tips MD. Who doesn't still melt hearing In Your Eyes?

I would also add for the nannies: no chronic hacking cough, appropriate math and logic skills and, no small children of their own(bringing scourges and pestilence to your babes).

The tribe has spoken.

Jean

This was hilarious, MD! Thanks for making my morning. My co-workers are wondering why I'm laughing so hard.

Xdm

Ruh roh. My nanny's ring tone is Shakira, "Hips Don't Lie." Thank god she is a heavy set, middle-aged, not terribly attractive Peruvian with fuzzy hair and even fuzzier documentation. Oh, and she loves my kid as much as I do.

Rachel W.

Can you imagine if there is actually someone out there sick enough to masturbate while watching Lou Dobbs? I know everyone has their own pecadillos but that is just gross. Thanks, MD. Now, I won't be able to think of anything else all day.

Nicole

Jake Ryan!!! Funny thing, my best friend's sister is doing just that very thing! She picked the name on a whim and then realized what she did and hopes the hubby doesn't realize before the kid is born!

Becky

I just told my Italian father-in-law the line about "although they've never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.''

He's still laughing his ass off.

ladyjay

Dude, seriously...you are my hero. You're well rounded, edjumacated, and funny as all hell. I particularly appreciate your tasteful use of the 'naughty words'. When I grow big...I wanna be just like you. :o)

KrazyKatKiller

Thanks for ruining my career, jerk-ass!!

whit

I'm expecting a call from 1983.

Classic.

Good advice, but I would still get the hot nanny. Especially since people always tell me how much I resemble Lou Dobbs.

Lainey-Paney

With regard to the "Asian Babies are so cute, we should get one" comment.

A similar situation happened to me. Two, I believe, homosexual males were fawning over my child at a local mall. My son loved the attention, they were so sweet just briefly interacting with him...and then one man said to the other, "We should get one."

I found myself suddenly disgusted & shocked that they were saying this like he was the latest IPOD or accessory.

Listen up busters! He's a freaking human being. He's demanding. He cries. He leaks from every orifice he has, and it's not all giggles-n-grins. He's not an accessory. He's a whole new life. He's a whole new way of life. He's a new set of eyes & a new way of looking at the world.

Furthermore, he's mine. Get the F*CK away from my baby you simple minded dipsh*ts.

"...we should get one..."
Go get a f*ckin' dog.

Okay...there's my rant/my $0.02.

~L

creative-type dad

Hmmm, chinese kid = airline miles.
I'll have to consider that one.

I would take that nanny thing even further. We were about to get an Au Pair, but a few work out at our gym, so now the wife doesn't think that's a good idea.

Busy Mom

Nobody ever asks me anything. Must look into getting Chinese kid.

Mama Nabi

"The tribe has spoken"? So you're done with "Metrodad out!"? Nice nanny hiring tips - I'd have added "No big boobies" - distracting to both the hubby AND the baby who'd easily be under the wrong impression that the nanny's boobie-diner offers bigger portions... rejecttion is awful especially when you're still battling hormonal fluctuations of postpartum. (and no, we don't have a nanny. :-))

William

Lloyd lloyd all null and void.

Alec Baldwin...I am not a big fan but the writing for that show is awesom and he does a great job.

Waya

You are hilarious Pierre! I think you got to have a Dear MetroDad column in the NY Times or something.

Yeah, the nanny thing reminds me of this movie "The hand that rocks the cradle" with Rebecca DeMornay. She became obsessed with the baby, thinking it was her own, even nursed the baby (EWW!)and had an affair with the hubbie. So no nanny for us after that movie.

Can't wait for the next mailbag.

Melissa

I have three thigs to say to you. 1. I too love John Cusack. 2. There you go again messing with my state. I just don't know about you sometimes. 3. I remember when you started this blog and you said one of your major rules for friends were people who don't watch Survivor. What the fuck happened to you?

tracy_lui@nospam.mac.com

I am seriously crushing on YOU, MetroDad! This was totally hysterical. I love your sense of humor. It's hard to believe you're Korean-American!

Linda

World's most annoying TV catchphrase has got to be Joey from "Friends" and his ""How you doin'?" When my younger brother was in college, he and his idiot friends would say that all the time and it would just drive me insane!

mrsfortune

Chuck Klosterman pisses me off. I guess that's his MO, though.

You're 38? Wow, you're old.

Here's one for your next mailbag, pretty, pretty plase: Why do so many men have a crush on Tina Fey? Is it the scar? The ridiculous white girl dancing she thinks it is funny to engage in? What? Please, riddle me that, batman. Though I find her funnier than a Kazakh journalist at a formal dinner, I just don't understand the whole crush thing.

enygma

On the nanny site, how do the posters know, for sure, that they've seen the nannies/au pairs/babysitters with the kids? What if they saw siblings, other family members or, God forbid, the actual parent?

Izzy

lololol..thanks for some much-needed levity here in the house of sick children!

Re the nanny site... it's both terribly sad but also so awesome that it exists. I hope it helps lots of children.

Matthew

Dude, Boo Ya!

You put the biscuit in the basket on that one.

You were en fuego!

Okay, enough Sports Center catch phrases from me.

But seriously, you were Dynoooomiiiite!

panthergirl

MetroDad, quit your fucking job and just write a column for the Times, ok?

Re: nannies... having just seen "Babel", I would add a suggestion not to ask your nanny to skip her son's wedding to watch your two kids while you try and save your wife's life in Morocco. That never turns out well.

Karen Rani

I'll admit, I'm a skimmer when reading blogs. But I read every word of this - you're hilarious. I sure hope you're writing a book. (Forgive me, I just started reading your blog so I don't know if you actually are.)

sweatpantsmom

I love your nanny tips.

Ours has been with us for ten years. We overpay her, give her paid holidays, paid vacations, generous Christmas bonuses and I make her a mocha latte everyday. I've been trying to take her job for years now but Rigel won't hire me.

She (sadly) only works for us one day a week now and someday will move on, but she'll always be an important part of our family.

Jonathon

It's like Dr. Phil, just not lame or irritating.

I think it's awesome that readers write you with questions on parenting. You sage.

KG

The nanny tips are priceless. But how do you know so much? Are you a nanny-broker in your spare time? You sure are one helluva multi-tasker, MD!

Love the mail bag clip art, too.

Mrs. Chicky

I've read a lot of mailbags in my day and this is the best one Evah (as they say around here).

When's the official MD Mailbag book coming out? Hmmm?

Mitch McDad

W/ regard to the Korean-American question, I'm wondering if the questioner is from Denver. One of my best friends from my days in LA is Korean and when she came here to visit she was borderline frightened by the pasty-ness of the inhabitants. As an honorary Korean (since I was one of only two Caucasians that got invited to her monthly "game night," I urge my fellow Asians to migrate to Denver--we need some...everything here.
Languishing in homogony-
Mitch

Mama P.

This is the funniest thing ever. Thank you. We're hiring a nanny now and I'll be sure to share your tips with my husband!

swampgrrl

i love this riff on lloyd dobler. he is dreamy, but not to be triffled with by a wanna-be.

hope you don't mind, but i linked you in my bog post today...about the Mets.

http://swampgrrl.typepad.com/weblog/2006/12/days_6_7_catalo.html

Glennia

Best. Post. Ever. I hate to tell you MD, but us older gals love the Cusack as well. He still looks like Lloyd Dobler, even though he's what? 45? Must be that rapidly aging painting he has tucked away in the closet, or a mighty fine Beverly Hills surgeon. I dunno, but that dude does not age.

Paige Jennifer

Um, I have a crush on Tina Fey too. And I'm a girl. A straight girl.

Working Dad

MetroDad, has anyone ever approached you about writing a column, say New York magazine? You would be perfect as a columnist, though I would hate to lose the blog.

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