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November 12, 2006

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Lunasea

Wow, so Elmo doesn't speak in the third person in real life? Lunasea is soooo relieved.

OTRgirl

I cracked up at the Hemingway summary. Oscar, Grover and Elmo cruising the town--Sesame Street will never be the same. Did you start the Bert and Ernie rumors, too?

Janet a.k.a Wonder Mom

I could just picture it all too.

Excellent interview MD!

leora

Hilarious, MD. Thanks for helping me start the week with a smile on my face.

Matthew

Further reason for why that red furry bastard is "persona non grata" in my house.

Although he does have good taste in women.

William

Very Clever. A baritone singing voice That would be my wish for him as well.

Kemp

Nice...

Funny. As. Hell.

Waya

I used to hate that little red furry guy, but now you put a different spin to him. And I like him much better now! So edgy and BAD! Now, does Peanut know this different side of Elmo?

teri

That, my friend, was FABULOUS.

You are one talented man!

Jonathon

When Elmo goes down, he's gonna fall hard.

Bitch never saw it comin'.

jiveturkey

read the tragedy that is grover here:

http://www.zeroboutique.com/grover/index.htm

damn.

METRODAD

jiveturkey...that is AWESOME! I love the part where he talks about being approached by a bohemian gay couple who asks if he might want to audition for a TV show they were throwing together...a little project tentatively called "Sesame Street".

Someone just sent me this one. It's a hilarious National Lampoon spoof titled "Sesame Street: The Unauthorized Oral History. Chapter 3 (C is for Cocaine.)"

Michael

I just KNEW Elmo wasn't that cheerful in real life! But who knew he was such a rager?

Linda

I love you for this, MetroDad! As a longtime reader of Vanity Fair, I've always been a tad obsessed with the Proust Questionnaire. Seeing it completed by none other than Elmo totally made my day. Thanks!

AlieMalie

haha.

I so needed those laughs. Thanks MD.

Emily of Redwhineandboo

MD I just love the way your mind works.

creative type dad

That's great!!

If Todd Bridges ever reads this, he'll start crying

Pattie

Classic! This is hysterical--and, surprisingly, it's not just the painkillers talking. :)

Brent

F*cking brilliant, MD. Finally, someone has exposed the seamy underside of Elmo.

Mama Nabi

Great... now I'm going to have dirty thoughts every time LN snuggles up with Elmo.

Mike

I'm afraid for you.

I don't want you to get sued by Children's Television Workshop, the Jim Henson Corp, or the Center for Public Broadcasting.

Neither do I want you to get beat up by the ginormous black man who actually plays Elmo. What? Yes, Elmo is fisted by a large black man.

mamazilla

dude! don't diss the frog! that's just cold...

;)


Melissa

I love it. Dude, did you get an autograph for the Peanut?

Next time you see him, since you're all buddy, buddy now ask him what the fuck happened to Snuffy. Inquiring minds want to know.

JB

I am so damn sick of Elmo these days that I think if I ever saw him in a club, I'd beat the crap out of him.

Mr. Big Dubya

My friend, only you. Hemingway, Salma Hayek's panties and Jay Gatsby, Playa-at-Large. All the elements of a party I'd be sad I missed.

Because I'm a nerd and retain bits and pieces of info that are only useful when around other nerds at particularly dull parties, you might like to know (if you didn't already) that Proust translated a work titled "Sesame and Lilies" by John Ruskin. So Elmo was a very apt selection for a Proust Questionnaire.

Dammit, Jeopardy, why haven't you called yet! Khan! Khaaaaannnnnnn!

Melanie

OMG...I thought the "O'Reilly Factor for Kids" was a joke until I googled it. Holy cow! The fact that he has a book out for kids is so disturbing.

JJ Daddy-O

Yo, I think I saw this brother face-down in the men's room at CBGB when they closed that place.
He was up in the front row talkin' some shit about Patty Smith's skinny ass and how she needed to shave her pits and spilling his bottle of Hurricane on Tom Verlaine.
Last I saw, Chris Stein was mopping the floor with Elmo's furry face while Debbie Harry was kicking his ass with pink stilettos.
Monster needs to know his limitations.

How About Two?

Have you heard from Elmo's 'people' yet?

Angela

I knew Elmo liked hispanic women. I always see him paying extra special attention to Rosita when she's doing the Spanish Word of the Day!

CroutonBoy

Best use of badonkadonk I've seen in months.

Anne Glamore

Too clever! And I got an extra Proust questionnaire this month! Unbelievable.

s@bd

forget Elmo, man.
I'm in LOVE with you.
(full-on talent-crush. what can I say?)

momto3cubs

I used to hate Elmo, but now, with this interview in mind, I can smile next time he appears on my TV.

landismom

My god, what twisted planet did you come from, man?

Kyran

nah, I'm not buying it. the machismo--it's like the NJ governor trying to get photographed in strip clubs to prove his masculinity. 'Mo's got some issues.

abba-daddy

"drinking is good, lions are dangerous" - fabulous

I love the way you write

Fiona

Ah, man, that was priceless! How the hell do you come up with these things?! But thanks for sharing :)

Jenny

I love how your twisted little mind works, MD. Thanks for cracking me up this morning.

Desiree

I never knew of the Kermit rivalry, but then, I have always been a firm green backer, I quite dislike Elmo.

JGS

I don't know if you listen to Wait! Wait! Don't Tell Me on NPR, but Kevin Clash and Elmo were really interviewed (not to say you didn't interview him here, of course) and it was pretty damn funny and ridiculously amazing how quickly he could switch back between his voice and Elmo's voice (not that Elmo isn't real, I mean).
http://www.npr.org/templates/rundowns/rundown.php?prgId=35&prgDate=09-30-2006&view=storyview

Kara

Too late... Elmo's sex tape is out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nBPrMEzm5A

kittenpie

Gah! So glad I don't watch Elmo's world after this!

Wendy Boucher

Excellent, Elmo. Thanks for sharing dude. I needed the laugh.

Her Bad Mother

That I was hearing this in Elmo's voice either demonstrates that you are a gifted writer, or that I am seriously bent. Or both. I'll go for both.

Stacy

You are so completely going to hell.

zygote daddy

Ok, Elmo. A world without frogs? It's on, motherfucker.

Melinda

This is soo funny, MD. I love your writing and sense of humor.

Kristen

"I don't want to name names but he's green and he looks like a fucking frog."

It was at this point that I let out a hearty guffaw. Thanks, MD. I needed that.

Ritardo

I think the googalee eyes are secondary to his hyperthyroidism condition.

misfithausfrau

Fabulous! I can only hope that you are able to get an exclusive with Cookie Monster. I am CERTAIN he has a lot to say since he has now changed his tune about cookies and now claims to loves vegetables and shit. You KNOW he's pissed that he has to say thse lies in order to keep his job.

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