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October 23, 2006

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Emily of Redwhineandboo

1) Bert and Ernie gay, um I thought we all knew that years ago. 2) My pic for your costume is #5. Have you been to Oregon lately? You have just discribed my neighbor. I wish I was kidding. Hope you cheer up soon, if you need to laugh your ass off, may I recoment this blog: http://www.girlsgonechild.blogspot.com/ Her clip today made me snort.

abba-daddy

it's Monday and to me the week started when my daughter told me that :
"Abba, I really like your BulBul (pines)"

Is it better then :
"Abba, Ima (mommy) has big ass".

I think that the source of all evil is : http://dustyfeet.com/evil/enemy.html

sandy

I'd like to cast my vote for smoking Elmo Dad. That's hilarious. "What you looking at?!"

Karen Rani

Um, only registered Blue's Clue's members can write in notebooks. Cease and desist.

I loved your bits about NY. "bits" sounds kinda perverted though, and I totally didn't mean it that way. It's not like your "bits" are scattered throughout NY, right?

Matthew

I can't believe the woman's hairy armpit pissed you off. I thought it would have reminded you of Berkeley.

nonlineargirl

Comments for Metrodad
(1) Chris says, in reference to the bath spashing: "Ooh, I did that tonight and thought 'I'm going to regret this.' It was totally funny though."

(2) My favorite subway rider was the guy on the L who chatted up my sister for 15 minutes while I sat across the aisle laughing at her. The fidgeting and dancing were great, as was the attempt at flattery that involved making fun of the face she makes when she laughs.

(3) Did Kermit really leave? I always thought he remained on SS as a roving correspondent kind of character.

(4) A joke for you:
Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker are having a light saber battle. Darth says "Luke, I know what you're getting for your birthday." Luke is freaked out, and asks "how could you know that?" Darth replies: "I felt your presents"

(5) When typing up a joke that relies on homonymns, how do you spell the key word? If you do it wrong, does that ruin the joke?

Glennia

Joe's predecessor (and alleged older bro), Steve, went on to be a pretty cool indie musician who probably gets lots of chicks. Any geek can strap on a Stratocaster and all memory of the fugly stripy shirt and talking to a blue cartoon dog will melt away. Check out www.steveburnsrocks.us

Mike

Why do you wonder about Hoopers? Is the fact that a Deli in NYC is not being run by Koreans severely disturbing to you?

As for an Asian redneck.

http://www.wwe.com/superstars/smackdown/jimmywangyang/

I hope your head doesn't explode from it. And I hope your fellow intellegensia don't ostracize you for going on wwe.com

Leora

I LOVE that you taught the Peanut to high-five people while saying, "up top, yo!" Completely reminds me of my husband who taught our daughter to lay our her hand and say, "gimme down low."

TJ

What DID happen to Snuffleupagus? I've always wondered about that. It's like he was blacklisted!

Jesse

"Mommy, why is Elmo smoking cigarettes on Hudson Street?"

Dude, I would love to see a photo of you dressed as Elmo smoking a cigarette in Tribeca! PLEASE!

Mike

We saw Joe when he was travelling the mall circuit this summer. He probably got his fair share of single moms during the tour.

I kept close eye on my wife until he was scheduled to appear in a mall far away.

Lunasea

No, no, no - Snuffleupagus is still around. In fact, this morning he received a magic ukelele in the mail. I only wondered where he got the money to order such a thing since as far as I can tell, he has no job.

Kermit's success sent Grover into a hard life of drinking and drugs. I don't remember where I read it, but it was somewhere in the internet, so I know it's true.

Being Jin would be awesome, but you'd have to speak in Korean all night and carry subtitles around with you.

Oh, and I believe that Alan owns Hooper's now, but I've never seen his car. I picture him in a Honda, though.

margalit

V. Go as V. I loved that frigging movie. Maybe you can get BossLady and Peanut to dress up as V's too, like in the last scent. That would be awesome.

David

Cultural differences round the world and all that but I'm really hoping that your wet willy is not the same as my wet willy. What is it??

Henri

Hey Bro you should go as my Finance professor because every night I'm stuck in class I crack up at the strange fact that he looks exactly like you. I'm thinking of going as Chozen, the wife Tamlyn and the Kid as little Danielsan and every few minutes I'm gonna throw my shirt at her and YCFYC real loud. Then I'll let the kid beat me up with that ridiculous drum technique.

honglien123

Dude,you are way late on the whole Bert and Ernie thing. Although, I think Big Birds trying to wedge his way in with all the Journey to Ernie stuff.

Also:
-I always thought Joe was pretty cute (he's my age so that makes it easier). All you have to do is look Donovan Patton up on imdb.com and look at the message board (I only looked to prove my point.) and you'll realize that with some exceptions (people who think he looks like Jay Leno), most girls think he's still fuckable.

-Steve was better.

-I miss Kermit. My kids barely have any idea of who the hell he is, I have to sing Rainbow Connection to them every night to keep the memories alive.

-I don't miss Snuffy the Snorting Snuffleupagus.

-Something that might keep you entertained, Matt Harding's travel blog. He doesn't travel anymore but you could check out his archives. He's not a bad writer actually, a little on the whiny side, but hey, he's a fat lazy american and he's my age.
www.wherethehellismatt.com

birchsprite

what about a very funny British Blog

http://www.littleredboat.co.uk/

birchsprite

Or there's always mine of course... but it's not so funny

Papa Bradstein

Kermit's success was the beginning of the end for Grover, "a monster who ultimately allowed his own weaknesses to overcome him and nearly ruin his career. A genius, a tyrant, a womanizer or just a washed-up drunk?"

Read the whole sordid affair at http://www.zeroboutique.com/grover/

Kim

If you hate telemarketers, this is pretty funny: http://joshualowry.vox.com/library/audio/6a00c225203796f21900c2252ab8c18e1d.html

It certainly brought me out of a funk last week.

As for Bert and Ernie, I'm more concerned about Ernie's relationship with his rubber ducky.

metro mama

I love teaching Cakes stuff I shouldn't.

I think Bert and Ernie are just platonic.

kristin

While I personally don't get the attraction, Steve from Blue's Clues has a massive mommy following. Plenty of ladies looooove him. Maybe they need to get out more. Then again, I have a favorite Wiggle, just in case someone ever made me pick.

KG

Ah, NYC! Such a mixed bag of complete, total wierdness and divinely inspired humanity. Memories of my old subway commute rush back to me now...

For a laugh, go to this article from the Onion archives. It's called "Fire truck! Fire truck! Fire truck!" Having a two-year-old, you will appreciate it and them some.
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41917

Jonathon

Be the Nascar driver. You'd be kind of like that French guy from the Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

PS: We taught Little-E to say "Hit it!" when she wants to hit your fist intead of doing hi five. Pointless, yes. Awesome, yes.

Leora

You are too funny, MD. What is it with men and putting bras on their heads? My husband taught our daughter to do the same thing. She thinks it's so funny. Whenever she sees a bra now, she yells "hat, hat!"

Steven

What DID happen to Snuffleupagus? I can't remember the last time I saw him on The Street.

If you want a good chuckle, check out cracked.com

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

FIVE QUESTIONS ABOUT "SESAME STREET

1. a and c
2. He is real now, but he doesn't show up much because of the heroin.
3. Alan. He's from Hawaii.
4. I don't know, but if they are I am joining the grouchkateers because I'd love to wipe of the birdkateers in their entirety. A genocide of sorts. I don't hate any other group of kids this much except any child appearing in Barney or singing KidzBop.
5. Yes. I think it is why Snuffy started on the horse in the first place.

(ps - Maurice Morris is the running back who scored more points than Edgerrin James this weekend. Sukka.)

Kvetch

1. Do not mess with Bert and Ernie. They are roommates and rank only second in my delightful childhood memories bank to Mr. Rogers.

2. Do not mess with Mr. Rogers.

3. Blue is a girl and I think that was a secret. Magenta is also a girl. Paprika is a girl, and she is the daughter of Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper. My kids are way too old for Blue's Clues, which makes me knowing all this more of a problem than the lot of it combined.

4. Snuffy fell down the stairs with the baker and is in traction.

5. What ever happened to Lady Aberlin?

Leslie

i think all of your Halloween costume ideas are awesome (especially cigarette-smoking Elmo!)

KC

I vote for Nascar driver. But wouldn't it be Orangeneck?

Kathy

here's a hilarious/insane youtube video. I cannot believe people even think about doing this kind of prank.
If the link doesn't work, just search for "japanese port-a-potty prank.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQNLQrMqVZ0&search=japanese%20potty

Puka

I vote for the NASCAR driver. After the geisha costume debate, I formulated a get up that I thought about wearing where I live. I think it would be hilarious, but some people say I'd get an ass whooping if I wore it. Damn.

mamazilla

dude. SO sorry i shoved my armpit in your face today. thought you were someone else. won't happen again! mea culpa! :)

Mary

I have to ask, what is a leg-spreader on the subway??

Kristen

John recently had the brilliant idea of telling our five- and three-year-old sons, in his spooky ghost voice, in the pitch black car ride home late at night, the halloween story of the "man with the golden arm"... THAT would have to be #1 on my list of things I wish I hadn't let him teach them. We walked inside the house, and Quinn, the three-year-old, amidst Bryce's nervous whimpers after the horror story, put his hands up and looked at us and said, "Shhh! Everyone! Be quiet! Do. You. Hear. That? I think it's the man with the GOLDEN ARM!!"

Great. Now the three-year-old is into freaking everyone the hell out.

s@bd

When people tell my daughter she's pretty, I've taught her to respond with, "No. I'm beautiful."

Thank you.
Thank you very much.

kristied

i completely agree that Joe, from Blue's clues, his eyebrows are just weird looking. Personally, I like Steve better. and i miss Sock Puppet. (i spend too much time with my son and nephew watching these dumb shows!)

Melissa

Oohhh I love lists. 1. I fully and completely agree with you on the bathtub splashing and I'm extremely glad I never taught my kids how to do a wet willie.
2. Panties on your head are funnier.
3. Blue's Clues is completely dead to me.
4. Snuffleupagus was an imaginary friend. If he had a hit put on him, how do you know it wasn't Big Bird and he just choose to disappear?
5. Ewwwww.
6. I love to see people give away food to homeless people, especially ones who you know can afford to buy their lunch everyday. It makes me feel better about society in some small way.
7. I think you should be a "Gay Redneck Asian Nascar Driver" and I want photo proof.

momto3cubs

Blue's Clues is on our TV as I read this, LOL. I was so shocked and confused when I realized Blue is a female. What's next, a special about Blue and Magenta being lesbian lovers? And did you know the purple Teletubbie with the purse is a male? They are brainwashing our kids -it's a conspiracy.

Liberal Banana

Those "5 People" who made you fall in love with NYC all over again? Seriously - you saw all of that in ONE TRAIN RIDE? That's amazing! And touching! And hilarious! Although I would definitely find the rapping guy annoying. The DC metro is nothing like the NYC subway and we treasure the QUIET. Anyone who is talking too loud or god forbid SINGING OUT LOUD is going to get a hundred people giving him the evil eye. (No, of course we wouldn't have the balls to actually SAY anything to the person about it. We just sit and stew.) And it's "illegal" to eat in the metro system so no Egg McMuffins here! (THANK. GOD.)

PM

Bert can't be gay. What self respecting gay puppet would have a mono-brow?!

Mom101

Every time I take the subway, I take inventory of the crowd. Usually there are many moments of awesomeness. But that Chinese lady? I swear I sit next to her every damn time.

If you need cheer-up stuff, I asked for the same a couple weeks back and the suggestions were awesome; most of all searching "Weird Al" on you tube. Can't go wrong!

Kristen

Oh Jesus. I'm laughing to hard to say anything funny.

Kristen

Oh Jesus. I'm laughing too hard to say anything funny.

Sorry for the possible double post - I just had to fix my piss poor spelling.

Lars

If you go as Michelle Wie, I demand photos!

Jackie

Chin up, chingu!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VC28CdSAQDU&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNU33UVYhRE

KC

MetroDad, I just wanted to admit that I have ITS (Intermittent Tourette's Syndrome). It can be deadly.

Brad

My daughter just discovered Blues Clues so I've been watching it a lot lately. Hard to believe that Joe could be considered sexy by any woman. Must be the hormones.

OTRgirl

While I prefer the other answers about Snuff, I think a few years back SS realized that it was bad to teach kids that people might not believe them when they told someone about a friend. I guess they were worried about kids being abused and thinking they couldn't talk about it? I don't remember the exact reasoning, but it was something like that.

I prefer the image of the poor baker tumbling down the stairs embedded in reddish brown fur.

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