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June 21, 2006

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Motherhood Uncensored

Okay I'm back for more...

MD: I eat my bologna with chopsticks

And sometimes you say it best yourself:

MD: Who's got time to worry when there are unicorns to ride?

MD: Because my wife's uterus was calling and I decided to pick up the phone

MD: I'm not a playa, I just gush a lot

Nan

Scotch on the rocks, with a splash of breastmilk

rwc

She loves me, she really, really loves me.

Deanna

MetroDad: In cyberspace, no one can smell my feet.

Mike

MetroDad: from the art gallery to the Peanut gallery

linda

"if it walks like a metrosexual and talks like a dad, it must be metrodad."

linda

alternatively, "if it walks like a metrosexual and talks about the peanut, it must be metrodad."

Ed Bacchus

These are all great, but now I must work on my own. Unfortunately, you have made our taglines feel inadequate. I can see a rush of changed taglines over the next week.

JJ Daddy-O

MetroDad: Not to be confused with that pansy MerlotDad.

landismom

"Not your father's daddyblog."

JJ Daddy-O

MetroDad: 10% Inspiration, 90% Pedal Extremity Perspiration.

Baun

MetroDad, love you, love your show.

Personally, my favorite was "In cyberspace, no one can smell my feet".

But I think this one may hold up well over time (and it fits your personality like a Tee):
MetroDad - "Putting the fun back in dysfunctional"

Baun

Sticking with the theme of ranting, how bout:
MetroDad - "Rant free since last week"

Tawnya

Okay, so I use most of my creativity at work during the day, but here it goes:

MetroDad: Fodder for the Parenting Masses

MetroDad: FDA Approved

MetroDad: Take one dram of scotch and call me in the morning

Really, I'm a middle-aged New Jersey housewife with a wild imagination

Okay, I give! I tried but I'm just not feeling funny at the moment!

Baun

Last entry

MetroDad - "No Sex and the City"


MerlotDad

jj daddy o up above

How dare you disparage me! I assure you I am no pansy, Sir!

I challenge you to a duel!
I pull your hair. I slap fight you. I throw my Espadrilles (gently) at you (Please return). I spit in your Kiehl's Hair Creme. What, you don't use that? That is SOOO my favorite product. You will feel my wrath. I assault you with flair and perfect diction.

Do you feel the heat of my flaming flame?

Mike

Metrodad - Yah, eennomah!! Moh ruhrl bo nyah?!?!

Metrodad - Messing it up for the rest of us Korean guys.

Serious dude, my friends hate that I've forwarded your site to their women.

Metrodad - I'm South Korean

Think about it.

Metrodad's Got Seoul

Metrodad - King Kong has NOTHING on me!!

Professor Griff

I was listening to some old Public Enemy tracks today and thought some of these would work for you...

"Cold Lampin' with Flavor"
"Makes You Blind!"
"What a Fool Believes."

zygote daddy

"Peanut farmer. Peanut farmer with damn fine hair."

"Gettin' up in yo' bitch-ass grammar since 2005"

"The new black"

Or, try something in your own words:

"Bologna es chway-go-da"

"Who's got time to worry when there are unicorns to ride?"

"I like chick flicks and my feet smell like ass"

enygma

I'd like to contribute, but I have a hard enough time thinking up titles for my papers.

Scottso

MetroDad: "I write what you think"

btw, this is my first comment, and I love your blog.

KrisT

How bout:

Korean Peanuts and other Nuggets of Wisdom

Kristen

You HAVE to use "Secret Asian Man" - I vote for you to pick rotating taglines - have 12 that you love and switch 'em out to have a different one each month.

mollymcmommy

Because my wife's uterus was calling and I decided to pick up the phone

i'm so not creative, but the above spoke to me! LOL!

had fun reading all the suggestions :)

m

Wandering Chopsticks

Hey MD,

Been reading for a while and I really enjoying how devoted you are to your wife and daughter.

Anyway, that said, how 'bout:

"Bad grammar makes me [sic]."

"Love is...Being stuck between a BossLady and a Peanut."

"What the heo?" (Heo is the VNese word for pig, and if you read it FOBishly, you'll get the right effect. I know you're Korean, but you do go to VN on business...

"MD: I cure all your ailments."

Or, "Do I have to have a point?"

Katherine NYC

"Once you go metrodad, you never go back"

"Metrodad: is habit forming and should only be read under close supervision. Addictive personality type in deep trouble (shit)"

"Metrodad: where bosslady wants to multiple the peanut"

"Metrodad: Funnier than you'll ever be. "

I am not as creative as the others though

zygote daddy

OK, I second (or third or fourth...) these:

"Bad grammar makes me [sic]"

"Because my wife's uterus was calling and I decided to pick up the phone"

"Secret Asian Man"

kittenpie

May contain traces of Peanut.

Product and Pronouns, Peanut and Peat.

Saucy in the Big Apple.

Boss. Though not quite THE Boss.
[gotta love the 80s slang!]

Your Daily Serving of Bologna.

Samantha

Holy hell. The competition is fierce. Sigh. (rolling up my sleeves) Here goes nuthin':


"MetroDad: I fucking love guacamole"

"MD: Submitting to women since 2003"

Pattie

How about: Redefining Feng Shui Fo Sho

Now you know why I never made it in advertising.

Chocolate Makes It Better

I got nothing mate.......i think you have tagline overload as it is!!!

Hope all is well. I haven't been around for a while, i've been on a little blogging break.


Brian

These are awesome, MD! I really do think you might have some of the wittiest readers around. I wish I had something to add but I'm totally drained right now. Just wanted to stop by and say hi.

AlieMalie

i love "Bad grammar makes me [sic]."

:)
AM

Panda

"MetroDad: May contain traces of nuts"

Ben

Metrodad: Almost as good as a mom ... but no boobies.

Bliss

I am completely lacking in the creativity department having spent most of my schooling with a pipette, cells, and some mice.

My favorite so far is Meg's
"Only taking shit in diaper form."

MetroDude

MetroDad - "Because you can only look at porn on the Internet so much"

or

MetroDad - "Because what else are you going to do now that there are no sports on TV for 3 months."

Golf doesn't count.

R. Frankel

MD - "Drink it or wear it."

Still funny in any context.

Ali

from bosslady's post:

“What’s up, Stinky Butt?”

joanh

these are so funny! totally enjoying hte blogs as well as the comments.

a lot of them made me LOL. can't wait to see which one is the WINNER.

Jennifer State

Daddy by day, metrosexual by night

Gen

MetroDad: Whoring myself for comments.

MetroDad: Spicer than yo mama's kimchee.

Barron

MetroDad: King of all Mommybloggers!

MetroDude

"MetroDad: Because Kevin Federline needs help."

"Metrodad: Think Carrie Bradshaw with a penis - and without that annoying redhead."

"Metrodad: A guide to fatherhood that is shaken, not stirred."

liberalbanana

I said I'd be back with my suggestions for you, but rather than come up with something bound to be uber-shitty, I'm giving up. There are some great ones up there; can't wait to see which one(s) you pick!

L.

"Forsan et haec olim meminisse iuvabit."

linda

metrodad: kid-tested, mother-approved.

kristie

Oh, pick this one:

"Because my wife's uterus was calling and I decided to pick up the phone."

Mike

So if you do decide to use your own words for a tagline, how about

MetroDad: "Fucking weird but fucking cool..."

I have to say given your penchant for gangsta rap/vernacular and a properly constructed sentence,
MetroDad : "Gettin' up in yo' bitch-ass grammar since 2005"
had me choking on my breakfast. That shit was FUNNY. But, again, no dearth of humor on this thread.

Michelle

I second the nomination for "Bad grammar makes me (sic)!" That one's perfect.

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