Tonight, the Peanut got pissed at me because I wouldn't give her a cookie.
Honestly? I don't even know how she saw the fucking cookie. It was perched on a countertop way beyond her line of vision and semi-hidden by a sippy cup.
All I know is that, at one point, the two of us are hanging out and playing musical instruments together. She's jamming out on the harmonica and I'm rocking some serious triangle action. Next thing I know, she completely freezes up and I see her tiny eyes scanning the entire kitchen with the intensity of Jack Bauer looking for a terrorist in a crowded mall. For a second there, I half-expected her to pick up an empty toilet paper roll and start using it as a telescope. Instead, she made an immediate beeline for the cookie and tried to use her one inch vertical leap to grab it.
Since it was close to dinner time (and because I'm the world's most sadistic father,) I refused to give her the cookie. In my best approximation of an actual grown-up, I calmly told her that the cookie would spoil her appetite and that, if she waited a little while, we'd have dinner together.
First, tiny tears start welling up in her eyes. Then, she begins whimpering softly. Next thing I know, she's screaming so loudly that I'm convinced my neighbors will think I'm flushing a cat down the toilet. I lean down to hug her but she kicks me in the nuts. She then starts flailing around on the floor like an epileptic fish. Her arms are going in one direction, her legs in another. If the screams hadn't been so maddingly deafening, I think I would have sat back in a chair and laughed my ass off.
Instead, I gave the Peanut a "time-out."
This was actually her second time-out. BossLady gave her one the other day because the Peanut thought it would be fun to overturn the laundry basket and start tossing Diet Coke cans out of the pantry. While BossLady and I thought this was hilarious, we didn't want to set a bad precedent so we suppressed our smiles and scolded the Peanut. Of course, our lovely daughter went absolutely bonkers, started screaming again, and commenced throwing soda cans like a young Satchel Paige.
So we stuck her in her crib until she cooled out (thank you, Supernanny!)
Clearly, we're at the beginning stages of the Terrible Twos. I'm fully cognizant of the fact that the Peanut's behavior stems from an irresistible urge to make her own choices. Recently, I've been reading a lot of parenting literature to help me prepare for this latest phase of the Peanut's development (and the ensuing onset of oppositional behavior, constant impatience and decision reversals.)
All the same, it's fascinating watching it up close and personal. In one moment, the Peanut is cute, adorable, and charming. Two seconds later, she's stubborn, demanding and impatient. She's like a miniature Asian version of Sybil.
Wish us luck, my friends, and feel free to offer up any advice. Because right now, BossLady and I are locked in a battle of the wits with a 20-month old girl who has suddenly come to realize that she knows exactly what she wants at any given time. Nature and Nurture are colliding straight-on and the stakes are high.
Winner gets a free cookie.
Gotta love adapting a parenting style from a reality show. I know that's what I plan to do, although I frequently watch both Supernanny and Nanny 911, so I'll be combining the two approaches while faking a british accent to make it more believable.
What kind of cookie, exactly? Those new chocolate covered nutter butters are deee-lish.
Posted by: mrsfortune | June 06, 2006 at 08:07 PM
I'm not totally into John Rosemond, but if you haven't already invested in his book "Parent Power" I think it's a must. Whatever he said to do is probably what I did. And tonight I was able to eat out for the 3rd night in a row with all my sons!!! (we're in the mtns taking people to camp). My point is that they are now relatively civilized.
Posted by: Anne Glamore | June 06, 2006 at 08:59 PM
Ah, the screaming begins -- my 15 month old has started utilizing his voice at certain times, no doubt a prelude of things to come.
I do think that consistency is key, particulary because we haven't been consistent on some things and we're paying for it. Best to be consistent from the outset.
Ugh...Good luck!
Posted by: Multymfoiled | June 06, 2006 at 09:12 PM
Oh geez, I fear I am reading my future. My very, very, all-too-near future. Right here. Now.
Good luck with this. I will be eagerly awaiting the antidote to toddlerhood.
Posted by: Mom101 | June 07, 2006 at 12:35 AM
Shit. I think Bri's turned two without me knowing!
Posted by: Matthew | June 07, 2006 at 02:02 AM
So, welcome to the real fun. Our daughter, now 4 1/2, was trouble until she got words at 1 year, and was much easier after that. Our son, now 3, was easy until he got words at 18 months, and now, he's a rascal.
We use a combination of time outs and deep breathing, and have gotten advice about his impulse control that basically says try to verbalize his frustration for him, so he can start to do that on his own. The trick is getting him to do it before he blows up and throws the nearest heavy item at someone.
Posted by: Jonathan | June 07, 2006 at 02:34 PM
Little babies are cute (when they're not crying) and I enjoy older kids now and again (when I'm teaching them something) but toddlers? I just don't know what to do with them. So...yeah. Good luck with that.
Posted by: Liberal Banana | June 07, 2006 at 04:23 PM
You read parenting books? That rocks! My huz will read some technical crap til his eyes bleed but a helpful book of parenting information? Not yet...lol
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Posted by: wagering | June 10, 2006 at 08:21 PM
Sounds like we're in the same boat. You totally had me laughing at the way the bambinos can spot a coveted food item through walls practically. I have a 21-month old son and have similar issues. Tried a time-out once (it was actually very cute, put him in a frog chair and came back 1 min later and he just sitting there waiting for me...Um, I don't think he got it).
My question for you...is what parenting books regarding this fabulous age have you read & recommend?
It's time for me to get some serious reading done on this topic!
Thanks!
Posted by: Alison | June 13, 2006 at 02:06 PM
My kid is the same age as yours and I am experiencing the same thing. Except that I don't find it so facinating to watch. So far time-outs have worked pretty well, but he certainly tests the limits. I have already written about the onset of "terrible-twos" on my blog.
Posted by: MainlineMom | June 14, 2006 at 03:18 PM
I love your blog!!!!!
It makes me laugh everytime I check in as I can so totally relate. My children are 18 & 19 and I'm here to say my friend... when you look back you won't remember any of this!
Posted by: Karen | June 23, 2006 at 06:16 PM
i know i am late to this entry. but i have a 2 year old who i absolutley adore but lately she has been pissy. so i did a google search on "2 year old whining screaming demanding stubborn" -- whatever, its late. and your blog entry was the second on the list. i got such a laugh. thanks!!
Posted by: | July 06, 2006 at 10:54 PM
Our daughter is going through this. She would cry and throw a fit before. But not like this. It's as if Holy hell breaks loose. But she'll start screaming for no real reason. I had to go into an office, and she sits on my lap like a good girl for awhile, and then suddenly she's screaming and throwing a fit on the floor. The woman I had to talk to, it looking at me like I am a terrible mother and Archer is only mimicing me. The woman made me so angry, telling me I should talk to her in a stern and calm voice. I have to say, I was a little happy when Archer smacked her.
We have sat her down and talked to her, made her sit in the corner, told her to go to bed. She's 2 and a half, and if it get worse I might have to claim "God told me to throw her in the San Fransico Bay..."
The only thing that seems to work, is just ignoring her...and when she wants the cookie later tell she can't have it becuase of her actions.
Posted by: Archer's Mom | October 02, 2006 at 11:51 AM
Lol. A vertical leap of 1 inch? Well, give it a few more years dude and it'll magnify at least 10 fold. At least. Grin.
Posted by: Win Chung | January 24, 2007 at 07:51 PM
Wow that is very interesting.A toddler can detect cookies within a quarter-mile.I've learned some great tips from here:)
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Posted by: Mon | July 04, 2012 at 11:14 AM
I have to, with genuine rscepet, disagree with Shelly here and state that I am an egalitarian, not a feminist. If anything, I am an egalitarian masculinist, which I believe is a natural, and complimentary, ally of the egalitarian feminist, but not exactly the same thingOppression is also dehumanizing for the oppressor. My immediate thought is for the liberation of males from the dehumanization which oppresses them. In many cases it is the flip side of the oppression feminists fight against. Many of us males also fight against it, but from a, perhaps, masculinist perspective rather than a feminist one.To use the cartoon (which breaks my heart) as a case study: The 1 Timothy 2 verses, used in this way against Sophia, forces particular modes of behaviour from the male who presents them. What if the woman he loves is an intelligent, beautiful teacher? He can't bee seen to approve of that teaching. HE must keep silence and not question' because it always results in chastisement'. Questions about his masculinity will be asked. What kind of man allows' his wife/partner to be so brazen? Even though we might agree with the idea of a mutual submission, these selected words have been turned into words ' of dominion and lordship.
Posted by: Anif | July 04, 2012 at 12:49 PM
What this woman does not know, as she plots her escape, is that in American curtule, the chains of submission are of her own making. In our curtule, she may stand and rip the confining pin from the wall. Submission in this respect is a choice. Physical bondage is a different matter, of course. There are women who are physically bound to The Male, but ideologically, any woman with the strength to stand on her own, make her own living, face the adversity of life alone any woman can shake off the chains of submission. Men don't like it? Well, there are some men out there who make good companions for a strong woman. But a strong woman must always be ready to live alone, comfortable with herself, and totally unwilling to bow the neck to any collar. Sophia is wisdom. Self-enslavement is not wisdom.
Posted by: Keval | July 04, 2012 at 01:00 PM
I agree with preacher lady on how men are trapepd. When I first saw the sophie drawing yes I see how religion enslaves women, but as a man I have realsied how it has enslaved me. male centred theology has missed the divine feminine, it has enslaved sensuality, feelings, body, trustfulness, creativity, eros and playfulness and condemned this aspect of self as sin. Until this theology evolves,or gets in touch with it's shadow, male centred religion will never evolve. That is why I had to leave the church I had to learn to dance, feel, love, and get in touch with my bodily wisdom.
Posted by: Hanifa | July 04, 2012 at 04:13 PM
Long my imprisoned spriit lay\Held past by sin and nature's night.\Thine eye diffused a quickening ray,\I woke, the dungeon flamed with light.\My chains fell off, my heart was free.\I rose, went forth and followed thee!Charles Wesley had something else in mind when he wrote those words, but I couldn't help thinking them when I saw this picture. I think they're still relevant.
Posted by: Efe | July 04, 2012 at 09:52 PM
Ana We checked out Pix. Pretty good, and I'm sorry I didn't try their frbmaoise lambic float. Guess I'll have to make one myself.Yvo The next great technological innovation should be lickable screens!SK Honeydew sorbet sounds fantastic.Kelli I know! I would love to visit it. But alas, I didn't even pack either of my utilikilts for this trip.Lydia Maybe a banana tarragon recipe is in order?lisa My pleasure! But really, you should go thank Dorie. ^^Traca I hit the main Powells and both Hawthorne Powellses twice each. My bookshelves runneth over. It was wonderful! I even picked up a few new cookbooks.Dumela Tarragon is an herb. I can't really describe the flavor very well. some people say it tastes like anise, but it generally doesn't to me, which is good, because I hate anise.BC Ack, I missed both of those places. Luckily, I'll be back next year!Lisa Next time, definitely.
Posted by: Manuel | July 06, 2012 at 06:36 AM
I hear ya.. we were looking fwoarrd to the zoo too!! But so so important to get that quiet re-coup time too. The zoo will be there a lot longer than the cold will last!! We actually ended up going anyway.. I bought a membership so Grace and I can go during the week too when we feel like it.. The one thing I could suggest about our trip next time is that perhaps we should go earlier when the animals are more active... I really hope C feels better soon! Looking fwoarrd to Thursday!!
Posted by: Kosovali | July 06, 2012 at 07:36 AM
My kids always seem to get sick the day I have to go into the ofifce. I usually have to beg my mom to come over and watch them......Don't worry about getting someone else's kid sick - remember, someone got your kid sick and you don't hate them... or maybe you do :)
Posted by: Dsc | July 06, 2012 at 09:22 AM
hey gauri, so very true every mother is a hero. even i rieelsad once i was one and again this praise is not for me but for my dear mom. just becoz of her i am what i am today..love u mom.
Posted by: Barbara | July 06, 2012 at 09:24 AM
Tanya,Very well put. I've heard the same from various Coaches, Law of Attraction deveotes and hoards of other would be entrepreneurs. Of course they are correct, having a positive mindset and opening yourself up to receive the lottery prize is great, key even. ~ But, You still have to buy a ticket! Whether you use Engage or Enervate as your buzz word you still have to Take Action and tell people about you wonderful product or service ~ that's marketing unless its a secret .
Posted by: Ritte | July 06, 2012 at 09:32 AM
No use believing in fresh air. Believing in your actnois will empower success. And, by the way, that is not always easy but practice brings self-confidence in ones belief in ones actnois no matter how small.A child would never learn to walk if it just sat there. But the belief in its own effort to bring some progress made the day.
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