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May 03, 2006


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Papa Bradstein

You know that Peanut is going to roll her eyes and sigh when she's a teenager and she reads that you would "chill at clubs."

"C'mon, MetroDad," she'll say. "Chill is so turn of the century." Then she'll pat you on the head and ask for $50 for dinner.

OK, yours are by far the most funny, and forced me to explain to my boss what is so funny about my work--which is not at all funny. Most everything has been taken already, but here's a few:

from Salt 'N Poopa, there's the ever popular

Poopie doop
Poopie doopie doopie poop

We sing this to Barky while he's doing his thing. Yes, he hates us.

Then, as expectant parents, who watch 3B kickin' it in Mama's belly, there's the Beastie Babies

Baby movin'
Baby movin'
Ain't no bink, but my bink so soothin'

. . .3B with the master plan
I said ooh my my and thank you ma'am
And when I kick your ribs you scream ooh god damn

--which includes the too-easy section:
Bink on, I'm gone
I'm so sweet like a nice bon bon
Came out rapping when I was born
Mama said rock it 'til the break of dawn

Or, for the left coasters, NWA

F the parents
comin' straight from the playground
a young baby's got it bad
'cause my poop's not brown . . .
some parents think
they have the authority
because of their seniority

. . .well, it goes downhill--if that's possible--from there.


These are some of the most entertaining comments I've ever read! Thanks for helping me kill some time at work. I wish I could come up with something clever. Too bad I'm feeling brain dead today.


More (yes, more!) rap music to parent by:

For the first 90+ days, especially if you're a stay at home parent:
Fight to Shower, Public Enemy

For those breastfeeding and returning to work outside the home, I recommend:
Big Pumpin', Jay-Z

In general for toddlerhood:
No No No No, (Nelly's - Na Na Na Na)
Nose Diggity, Blackstreet

Three more for the potty training process (yikes, and it is a process):
Push Shit, Salt N Pepa
Poop! There It Is!, Tag Team

and please, by all means

Don't Believe They Wiped, Public Enemy

June Cleaver Diaries

And how do you know the Lindsay Lohan has a freckled ass? Was it out at the restaurant? Good Lord, that girl is a mess.

BTW, if you ever see Adrien Brody out somewhere, please remind him that he can only be my second husband if he quits dabbling in hip-hop and gets rid of those two yappy damn dogs.


How 'bout

(It's Getting) "Wet In Here" Nelly
"03 Mommy and Clyde" Jay-Z
"Poop Yourself" Eminem

I could go on forever with this...


Thanks for playing, everyone! The winner is MIKE (who aside from sheer originality also won the prize based on sheer volume.) Congrats, Mike. The CD is in the mail. Hope it gives you some inspiration for some more rap titles!

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My life's been completely unremarkable recently. I haven't been up to anything. I just don't have much to say. I've just been letting everything pass me by. Shrug. I don't care.


I haven't been up to much lately. So it goes. What can I say? I've just been letting everything wash over me recently, not that it matters. I just don't have much to say these days.

Breast feeding for 10 - 15 minutes per breast 8 - 10 times every 24 hours is an ideal target. Crying is a sign of hunger, which means you should actually feed your baby before he starts crying. During the first few days, you may have to wake your baby to begin breast feeding, and he may end up falling asleep during feeding.


An interesting discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write far more on this topic, it may well not be a taboo subject but generally people today are not enough to speak on such topics. To the next. Cheers

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第一次约会是美好的,小伙子将心爱的女孩送回家,黑夜给了他勇气,他想尝试一下他的初吻。在女孩家的门口,小伙子鼓足勇气,他用手斜倚在墙上,他说: 亲爱的,我们做一个吻别吧。 女孩像受惊的小鸟: 你疯了?我父母会看见的。 噢,来吧,这时候他们怎么会看见。 请不要这样, 女孩坚持道, 你想想,万一我们弄出了声音 怎么会? 小伙子有点急: 这么晚了,大家都睡了。 无论怎么说都不行,这样做太危险了。 小伙子诚恳地说: 你知道我有多爱你吗,来吧。 不,不,决不!我也喜欢你,可我不会那么做。 小伙子仍在努力,可这时走廊的灯亮了。女孩的姐姐穿着睡衣,睡眼惺忪地走了出来,用含混的声音说道: 爸爸说了,给他一个吻吧,让他快点回家,要是你不愿意我愿意代劳,只是请他把手从咱家的门铃上拿开。


龟兔赛跑 兔子很快跑到前面去了 乌龟看到一只蜗牛爬得很慢很慢 便对他说: 你上来,我背你吧 然后 蜗牛就上来了 过了一会,乌龟又看到一只蚂蚁 便对他说: 你也上来吧 于是蚂蚁也上来了 蚂蚁上来以后,看到上面的蜗牛,对他说了句: 你好。 蜗牛回答到:..........你们知道蜗牛说什么吗?蜗牛说: 你抓紧点 这乌龟飙得好快 别掉下去了!


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