All my life, I've had a pretty healthy relationship with women.
Now, don't get me wrong. Like I've said many times (almost TOO many times), I'm definitely a "guy's guy."
Most of the time, I pee standing up (sometimes I even lift the seat up!) I'm a complete sports fanatic, love classic rock, drive way too fast, and am perfectly happy eating dinner over the sink. I drink scotch, eat meat, and nothing cracks me up like a good fart under the covers.
But I also have a softer, more sensitive side. For a sarcastic wise-ass, I'm fairly introspective and generally in touch with my emotions. I love curling up with a good book. I love cuddling in bed with my wife. And personally, there's nothing more relaxing for me than a day at the spa.
I bring this up because I'm noticing that the vast majority of my readers seem to be women. I also find that most of the blogs I read are written by women. In fact, most of them are written by women who have children. It may be unusual but I enjoy reading about the challenges of raising children. I love getting advice on how to become a better parent. And call me crazy but I NEVER get sick of the cute stories that people tell about their kids.
HOLY SHIT...AM I A MOMMY BLOGGER?
As my half-Korean Seoul sister Kristen informs me, there is evidently a negative connotation to being a mommy blogger. Apparently, many people who read blogs look down on women who write about being moms and brush them all off as being bored and vapid housewives with nothing better to do than read Redbook and talk about their kids. All "mommy bloggers" are somehow categorically dismissed and marginalized simply due to the fact that they have children. The fact that these same mothers are smart, interesting, funny and insightful is completely disregarded by the vast majority of the blogosphere.
To me, this is just another form of stereotyping or bias. It's insulting and demeaning. It's almost as offensive as dismissing and trivializing people solely due to race.
Shit, I'm a "daddy blogger." And if mommy bloggers are the dregs of the internet, then daddy bloggers are their red-headed stepchildren (no offense to any red-headed stepchildren out there.) But really, NOBODY even knows that we exist! If they did, who knows what they would think of us?
For the most part, I'm sure many people would stereotype "daddy bloggers" as a group of emasculated and oversensitive fathers who are either SAHDs or who subscribe to some sort of New Age-type of parenting. Those people should come here and say that to my face! Because I'm not fucking around here. I will literally take off my apron and beat those fools silly with a spatula and my copy of Iron John.
In all seriousness, any dismissal of fathering blogs is probably related to the fact that, when it comes to issues of parenting, fathers are often marginalized out of the discussion. You always hear about the Mommy Wars. Or the struggle of balancing parenthood and careers. Or the difficulties of being a single mother. But how often do you hear those issues as they relate to men? Very rarely. Does this bother me? Not at all. I'm much more interested in being inclusive rather than divisive. I want no part in a battle that divides mothers and fathers.
So, to all my favorite "mommy bloggers" and "moms who blog," I stand with you in unity!
Screw all the haters! Who cares what they think? Life's too short too worry about all that crap. We may all be parents but we're also a diverse group of individual personalities who have a lot more to discuss than baby wipes, drool and potty training. So, like I've said before, fly your freak flag! Speak your mind! And, together, let's show the haters that there's more to all of us than just being a parent!
After all, how boring would it be if our entire identities were wrapped up solely in the fact that we're also moms and dads?
True dat, Metro. Personally, I could give two shits about the haters. Actually, I am envious of them that they have time to read blogs they hate and write about how much they hate them.
I hope to see more Daddy Blogs this year. I have really enjoyed reading the male perspective since my husband isn't type to wax poetic about anything except beer, college basketball and Medicinal Chemistry stuff(which he would never do at home.)
Posted by: misfithausfrau | March 27, 2006 at 01:01 PM
I'm pretty convinced that the people who say that have never read a good mommy/daddy blog. They would see that parenting blogs are a lot more dynamic than cute pictures and poop stories. So, screw 'em.
Posted by: Kateri | March 27, 2006 at 01:36 PM
Well, what does it say about me that the vast majority of blogs I read are by moms and dads, and I DON'T have kids and I'm NOT married and I doubt either are happening in the next ten minutes.
I think "parent bloggers" are interesting because they've had to look at life beyond their own navels.
I love the perspectives, the rants, the angst, the joy, the delight, and the wickedly funny stories they share.
So what if people like to make fun of y'all? You make me laugh, and since my universe still revolves around me, it's all good!
(Just kidding!)
Posted by: Meg | March 27, 2006 at 01:36 PM
Hello Metro Dad,
Only if ever I happen to become a single mother I will write a better article!! I hope!!!
I always end up rolling on the floor of laughter!!
Regards from Spain
Posted by: Pepa | March 27, 2006 at 01:39 PM
DaddyTypes is one of my favorite sites and I'm a girl. So, it's ok!
Posted by: Xdm | March 27, 2006 at 01:41 PM
I'd be proud to welcome you to the ranks of mommyblogger, dude. Especially with your traffic-generating abilities!
But seriously, I think the mommybloggers-are-different-from-other-bloggers rap is just so much bullshit. Are people who blog about their public drunkenness every weekend inherently more interesting than people who had their last public drunkenness in their pre-baby state? I don't think so. What matters is what you make of your content, not what makes up your content.
People who blog in an interesting way about what's going on in their life and their world is what interest me.
Now pass the speaking stick, Iron John.
Posted by: landismom | March 27, 2006 at 01:51 PM
You're MY favorite mommy blogger, MD!
Posted by: Steph | March 27, 2006 at 02:00 PM
Parent Bloggers Unite!
For me personally, I love reading Rice Daddies and The Blogfathers. But I'm a SAHM. What does that make me?
Well-read, I think! :)
Posted by: Deanna | March 27, 2006 at 02:02 PM
You had me at the photo.
And ps - I'm honored that you have made me half-Korean - alas, I'm half Chinese - but we'll never tell! :)
And you are an honorary mom blogger by proxy.
Posted by: Kristen | March 27, 2006 at 02:05 PM
Oops! Sorry, Kristen. I can never tell you people apart! Hahahaha! Just kidding! (of course, I have to write that because the internet is humorless these days and people might think I'm serious.)
Besides, everyone (and by everyone, I mean my wife) thinks I look Chinese anyway.
And thanks for making me an honorary mom blogger! When do I get to learn the secret handshake?
Posted by: MetroDad | March 27, 2006 at 02:15 PM
I'm SO SICK of all the girl-on-girl hating that's been going round the Internet lately! You know, maybe if we all stop participating it would go away. I really wish there was an equivalent site like Dadcentric or the Blogfathers for moms who just want to have some fun! You know, both about parenting AND other issues or fun stuff. Or a site like that with moms and dads would be even better. (Any takers?)
Though I do have to disagree with you slightly, MD, I think you dad bloggers have a sort of celebrity status. Not that I mind! Some of my favorite reads are the dads!
Posted by: the weirdgirl | March 27, 2006 at 02:16 PM
MD, you know I am always with you. Daddy blogger or not, you are one of the most funny yet honest bloggers out there. And if you want we can refer to you as a Mommy blogger too. Some of the things said in the last week on many blogs have been insulting and demeaning to a lot of people. And it's gotten tiresome. Mommy bloggers do get a lot of crap terms thrown at them. But I couldn't give it up at this point. I have "met" some of the most amazing men and women in the past year, just from reading blogs. I think the Daddy Bloggers I read are some of them crazy, funny, articulate men I could ever hope to meet. Keep doing what your doing MD, someday you could probably publish a book, just with what you've already written. Ok, I'm done gushing and being a kiss-up.
Posted by: Melissa | March 27, 2006 at 02:31 PM
Just delurking to say that although there may not be many daddy bloggers out there, I think you're all great. You, Daddytypes, Laid-Off Dad, Dutch and RudeCactus are some of my favorite reads. Period!
Part of the appeal is because you all seem like such great dads and that's a very endearing thing to see. However, you all do a great job of showing the many sides of your personalities. You're not just dads. You're interesting people. For some reason, people tend to ignore this when it comes to reading "mommy blogs." They just get typecast as being mommies and that's it! Seems so unfair.
Butgood for you for championing the cause of all parenting blogs! Y'all need to stick together.
Posted by: Margaret Richman | March 27, 2006 at 02:46 PM
I figure all us "mommy bloggers" should gang up and seize that term and turn it around to make it one of empowerment, the way the gays did with "queer." Yeah, I`m one of those motherfuckin` mommy bloggers -- you got a problem with that? Yeah, well, that would be YOUR problem.
Posted by: L. | March 27, 2006 at 02:51 PM
The only difference between us and you MetroDad is that we push human beings out of our hoo-has.
Proud to stand with you!
Posted by: Mega Mom | March 27, 2006 at 02:59 PM
My dad is a single dad, and I think it's almost harder for single dads because they don't have any sort of recognition at all. My dad should start a blog, it would be really funny. He talks about writing a book all the time and calling it "Mommy With A Penis".
Posted by: rach | March 27, 2006 at 03:36 PM
I never liked being considered a Daddy blogger (Not that I blog about anything else) I just do not like being thought of as one dimensional.
I like reading blogs about parenting because it offers insight into other peoples way of doing things. Some are boring or make up the stereotype of Dad Blogs but others like yours and rude cactus and others are great reads everyday.
I heard a few years back about "soccer moms" and the sterotypes that goes with that term and how woman did not want to be considered a "soccer mom". Mommy bloggers and Daddy bloggers are getting the same bad rap.
Why don't they ever talk about "soccer Dads?" Oh that's right..they are called Coaches.
That was a joke.
Posted by: bill | March 27, 2006 at 03:42 PM
"Fly your freak flag" - HA!
As a gal who is pretty gosh darn sure that she don't want no babies, I was really surprised at how reading "mommy blogs" has made me feel.
"Wow, moms can be funny?!? Witty?? Downright hilarious?? THIS STUFF IS GREAT!" And I've even joked now that perhaps I should have kids because it gives you so much great stuff to write about! (Read: joked.) But I bet it would make the hard stuff easier to get through if I knew I had a whole group of people to share my stories with - and I imagine you guys feel the same way.
The internet has provided me with a glimpse into the lives of parents and I'm really thankful for it. It has really changed my perspective. You CAN be a parent and still be a person - and a cool one at that. So keep blogging out there, all you parents - moms AND dads! You're sharing knowledge with other parents and entertaining us all!
Posted by: liberalbanana | March 27, 2006 at 03:58 PM
I agree that dad bloggers have it easy.
There are so few of us, dude. We're like a black guy on a small liberal arts college campus: there's always some dude following us around with a camera to take pictures of us chatting amiably for the prospectus.
Posted by: dutch | March 27, 2006 at 04:02 PM
And just like that black guy on my campus*, I try to be friends with you guys as well to feel cooler than I actually am.
St. Norbert in De Pere, WI. Sean Ramsey, where are you now? Call me!
Posted by: Xdm | March 27, 2006 at 04:16 PM
Word.
The way you feel about Mommy Bloggers is the was I feel about Daddy Bloggers.
Maybe we should consider switching.
Posted by: Sarah | March 27, 2006 at 04:47 PM
I love the mommy bloggers and the daddy bloggers, and I don't care what you call me. Also, I don't buy into the assumption that if you are a mommy blogger you are one dimensional. I'm a mom; I have a blog. I'm also a woman, a Tar Heel, a feminist, and I love beer. That's the way I feel about all the blogs I read--there's LOTS that interests me about your lives. If I happen upon one that doesn't interest me, I don't read it. But I don't dismiss it as a "mommy blog" either, I just move on.
Thanks for this post, MD, as usual, you make it all make sense, and funny too.
Posted by: Amy | March 27, 2006 at 05:33 PM
i don't think any of that stuff makes you a mommy blogger, just terrifically cool.
Posted by: Kara | March 27, 2006 at 06:12 PM
You always have been my favorite mommy blogger, MD!
Posted by: Brent | March 27, 2006 at 06:54 PM
Hyung, I think you're all man. Maybe not when you're at the spa. But for the most part. If you and someone else have ever split a bottle of Crown on Hennese, then you're a man. Not a yuhj at all.
Posted by: Mike | March 27, 2006 at 07:37 PM
(Followed you here through the various sidebars you are linked in)
I just wanted to say that until today I didn't realize being a 'Mommy Blogger' was an insult, but I guess there is not much I can do to change that. I have a Blog. I am a mommy. I know little else of life right now...but I am cool with that.
Its an honor to be stuck in the same mockingly labeled group as you are. We have nothing to apologize for.
Posted by: Emily | March 27, 2006 at 07:40 PM
Right on, MD! I'm not married, don't have kids and probably won't anytime soon. Yet I enjoy coming here and reading your perspectives on parenting. It's cool to know that the fun life doesn't end when you become a parent. If anything, you make it sound like it gets much better. Cool!
Posted by: Billy C. | March 27, 2006 at 07:43 PM
Very well said.
All of the parenting blogs I read are written by well educated, intelligent and witty people.
People need to stop drinking the hater-ade.
Posted by: Linda B | March 27, 2006 at 09:04 PM
I dont know why the people who hate "mommy" or "daddy" blogs continue to read them, if they dont find them interesting they should just read something else. I could care less about the labels, i love reading your blog and other blogs like it. (written by moms or dads). It is nice to get a different perspective on other people's parenting adventures. It can certainly be quite entertaining and it is nice to know there are people out there and we're not the only ones. Keep it up!!!
Posted by: kristied | March 27, 2006 at 09:23 PM
well said mate
Posted by: Chocolate Makes it Better | March 27, 2006 at 09:29 PM
MD,
Why do people have to label every thing? What difference does it make if you can socialize with both sexes, effortlessly?
I guess people gots to fight over somethin'...geez.
I can't speak to the mommybloggin' issue 'cause I don't read many of them. Don't have a lot of time, lately.
I'm of the opinion if you don't like someone's writing, don't effin' read the shit...move on! Life's too short to be a whiner.
I will say that daddy blogs, in general have opened many eyes to the joys of fathering AND sharing the experience. It is comforting to know that we're not alone and that our voice is heard.
Your blog, in particular, has the added benefit of dead on humor, wit and style, and that suits me.
Posted by: LeeMarv... | March 27, 2006 at 09:40 PM
Mommy blogger, daddy blogger. Stalagmite, stalagtite. I'd prefer they be called journalists, entertainers, philosophers, writers, malcontents, or whatever best suits their needs and desires.
There's a lot of small-minded people out there, and the anonymity of the internet affords them the opportunity to lash out and make themselves feel momentarily bigger. The fact that some exceptional people have been under attack lately is pathetic, but reflects far more on them than on those who blog. Didn't Emerson say "to be great is to be misunderstood?"
Posted by: croutonboy | March 27, 2006 at 10:30 PM
So the soul reason I even discovered blogs was my seeking out of some emasculated and sensitive fathers who I could imprint on the new dad in my house and advance a number of New Age-type parenting agendas I had.
It hasn't worked out at all.
ps.. you got 5 out of 5 on your quiz MD, your gold star is in the mail
Posted by: mo-wo | March 27, 2006 at 11:29 PM
If more "daddybloggers" like you and Dutch and a few others keep it up, the label is only going to come to stand for something fantastic. Good writin' is good writin', whatever we choose to call it.
Your wife is going to let you go to Blog Her, right? Right? RIGHT?
Posted by: Mom101 | March 28, 2006 at 12:44 AM
Hmmm.
I'm having a real identity crisis after reading this.
Am I a daddy or mommy blogger?
Am I a man's man?
Pee standing up? less and less
Complete sports fanatic? No (play soccer, still skateboard but have never thrown a Tony Hawk skatepark tour party)
Love classic rock? Sorry, but no. More of an Indy, Modern, Death, Folk, Acoustic Jam sort of guy.
Drive way too fast? Yes
Perfectly happy eating over the sink? Sure
Drink scotch? Mmmm dirty smokey alcohol....Nope
Eat meat? What else is there?
Nothing cracks me up like a good fart under the covers? Of course. It kills at parties.
I am a daddy, artist, designer, musician, wannabe chef, closet architect, domestic skatepunk, with metro-sexual tendencies blogger (however lame and slack of a "family blog" it may be).
I think "daddy bloggers" are so cool because 1) well, WE ARE. 2) Because any dad who breaks from cultural norm and stays home with the kid(s), or cares enough about their kids that they have a blog about being a daddy is obviously in touch with some shit that the overwhelming stereotypical ideas of dad's can't touch with a 10 foot statue of Jesus.
Not really spending too much time in the orb known as the blogOsphere I was unaware of the label placed on mommy bloggers. I tend to view bloggers like people. I know I'm crazy like that. Some are interesting, some not so much are funny and some are not. Some like it hot, etc.
I think it is very cool, though, that there is this community of parents on the internet that for the most part seem very cool, intelligent, witty, and friendly. Regardless of what the idiots say, I think that we have a positive representation and impact on parents and non-parents alike (as seen in the above posts). Well, when I say "we" I mean all of "ya'll".
As to being a mommy blogger and going to Blog Her, you and numerous others I read are great daddy bloggers and I think we need our own gig. We'll call it Blog Herm-afro-daddy. Ok, maybe not that.
Posted by: matt | March 28, 2006 at 03:19 AM
I'm happy being called a poo-blogger. Though I can do other things, it always reverts to that.
Posted by: David | March 28, 2006 at 05:06 AM
I would consider it an honor if someone ever called me a "mommy blogger". You're a guy with many typical male interests but still with a mind that understand women. Do you have any idea how rare that is??? Mommy Blogger or Daddy Blogger is to me completely irrelevant. I like hearing the different opinions of people who blog, especially women, and I've never been bothered of being labeled.
AD
AD
Posted by: AdventureDad | March 28, 2006 at 05:38 AM
Good shot. I found your argument for inclusiveness to be inspiring. I'm going to tell Emily that I want to be viewed as an equal from now on.
Oh, and since I've always been red-headed, and actually am a step-child, I guess it's only natural that I become a daddy blogger. At last, the figurative agrees with the actual.
Posted by: freezio | March 28, 2006 at 08:01 AM
Yeah, what you said. Screw the whole lot of 'em. You blog!
Blog on!
Posted by: Red | March 28, 2006 at 08:38 AM
Maybe I don't get out much (there's not much doubt about that), but other than the NYT story last year, I've never heard a word against mommy bloggers, except on some "child free" forums. Really, are the labels even neccesary? Most blogs that don't have any specific theme (gossip, politics, tech, etc.) are just blogs that document the minutiae of people's lives. Naturally those of us who have kids, blog a lot about it.
Posted by: Sheryl | March 28, 2006 at 08:47 AM
You're one of the lucky few daddy bloggers, MD. You're way cooler than a mommy blogger because there are so few of you. You're all in touch with your emotions, but a little more cynical about it. And I like that a damn lawt.
Posted by: Lucinda | March 28, 2006 at 09:15 AM
Amen, dude. Don't know why there are so many haters out there. I enjoy reading all the parenting blogs. Helps keep me sane when I'm about to lose it with my kids. Misery loves company!
Posted by: M. Gunnti | March 28, 2006 at 11:11 AM
Just want to say that I love your site. You're a terrific writer. I enjoy reading lots of *parent blogs* even though I don't have children.
Posted by: susan @ yow | March 28, 2006 at 11:35 AM
I think parenting blogs -- both of the mommy and the daddy ilk -- are breathtakingly honest, upfront, wonderful mediums in which to paint the real portrait of what parenting is really like (as opposed to what we see on the pages of some magazines in which the kids and parents are always happy, clean and well fed).
I love to read mom and dad blogs to at least know that it's not just me who gets crazy when 247 birthday party invitations for my children (all under the age of 8) arrive in my mailbox in one week, or that I'm not the only one who goes berserk every once and a while. (Okay, like once a day, but who's counting?)
Posted by: Meredith | March 28, 2006 at 01:24 PM
WE LOVE YOU, MAN!
*ahem*
Rock on 'witcher bad self.
Posted by: candace | March 28, 2006 at 01:29 PM
I am a mommy who prefers reading daddy blogs to mommy blogs. Go figure? But yours isn't strictly a parenting blog, so I don't think you can be painted with either the mommy or daddy blog brush.
Posted by: johnsondaw | March 28, 2006 at 01:41 PM
Hear hear!
I now lay my hair net at your feet.
And I couldn't agree more with the marginalizing of the paternal role in parenting. (Except for in Disney movies where the mothers are always either dead or killed off. This always leaves me screaming at the screen, "The fathers? The fathers? Who cares about the goddamned FATHERS?" But I don't really mean it.)
Posted by: sweatpantsmom | March 28, 2006 at 03:50 PM
You're a daddyblogger? I thought you were "just a totally average white chick living in Fresno with a fondness for Wonder Bread, mayonnaise and ‘N Sync."
Now all my hopes and dreams have been shattered.
And, to steal from Tony, I think I'd like to be a malcontent stalactite - just hanging around the blogosphere, but not always liking it.
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | March 28, 2006 at 05:39 PM
Who am I kidding? I love it here, the water's great.
Posted by: Mr. Big Dubya | March 28, 2006 at 05:40 PM
Mommy blogger, daddy blogger, who cares? I come here for the great writing, the interesting perspective, and the great commentors that you seem to attract. I'd come here even if you didn't have a kid!
Posted by: Leora | March 28, 2006 at 05:50 PM