Cross your fingers for me, friends. I'm going under the laser today so I can trade in my crappy near-sighted eyes for some shiny new ones. That's right, I've finally decided to undergo Lasik surgery. I've been wearing contacts and glasses for almost 25 years now and I'm sick of them. Though my glasses have been a nice fashion accessory over the years (Man, how gay am I?) and still make me look a lot smarter than I really am, I'm sick of having them fog up as I stand over the lunch buffet. I'm sick of blindly running around the apartment, trying to find them in the morning. And lately, the Peanut has decided it's really fun to play this game where she waits until I'm not looking and then grabs the glasses off my head.
The doctor that I'm going to apparently is one of the pioneers of Lasik and has developed many of the lastest techniques. But still, there's something about it all that seems so "Bladerunner" or "Gattaca." In many ways, my lack of understanding in science makes me very nervous about certain things. Like flying in a plane ("It's too big. It can't go up!"- Call the movie, people!)
Anyway...what was I talking about? Crap, I don't even remember. All I know is that, after my surgery, there's to be no reading, computer usage or television for 48-72 hours. That's why I purposefully scheduled my surgery for today. I planned it around the Rose Bowl (Go Texas!) and last night's episode of "Earl." If all goes well, I'll be able to watch "West Wing" on Sunday night. I'm a sick man, aren't I?
Well, wish me luck. Hopefully, I"ll "see" you on Monday. If things go awry and I'm rendered sightless for the rest of my life, don't worry. I've got about 20 posts saved up already. What do you expect from a man who's already written his own obituary? (Just kidding. I haven't finished it yet. I'm only halfway finished. Anyone know a good word that rhymes with cantankerous?)
Have a great weekend, everyone!
(UPDATE: I just read in today's NY Times that TV Land is going to start rerunning episodes of "Miami Vice" this weekend. Many of you know about my love of this show. What do I do? Crockett and Tubbs? Or major life-altering eye surgery? Tough call. Guess I'll get my eyes done. Damn! At least it's not "The White Shadow." Then, I'd really have to reconsider.)