MetroDad

Eyes Wide Shut!

Cross your fingers for me, friends.  I'm going under the laser today so I can trade in my crappy near-sighted eyes for some shiny new ones.  That's right, I've finally decided to undergo Lasik surgery.  I've been wearing contacts and glasses for almost 25 years now and I'm sick of them.  Though my glasses have been a nice fashion accessory over the years (Man, how gay am I?) and still make me look a lot smarter than I really am, I'm sick of having them fog up as I stand over the lunch buffet.  I'm sick of blindly running around the apartment, trying to find them in the morning.  And lately, the Peanut has decided it's really fun to play this game where she waits until I'm not looking and then grabs the glasses off my head.

The doctor that I'm going to apparently is one of the pioneers of Lasik and has developed many of the lastest techniques.  But still, there's something about it all that seems so "Bladerunner" or "Gattaca."  In many ways, my lack of understanding in science makes me very nervous about certain things.  Like flying in a plane ("It's too big. It can't go up!"- Call the movie, people!) 

Anyway...what was I talking about?  Crap, I don't even remember.  All I know is that, after my surgery, there's to be no reading, computer usage or television for 48-72 hours.  That's why I purposefully scheduled my surgery for today.  I planned it around the Rose Bowl (Go Texas!) and last night's episode of "Earl."  If all goes well, I'll be able to watch "West Wing" on Sunday night.   I'm a sick man, aren't I? 

Well, wish me luck.  Hopefully, I"ll "see" you on Monday.  If things go awry and I'm rendered sightless for the rest of my life, don't worry.  I've got about 20 posts saved up already.  What do you expect from a man who's already written his own obituary?  (Just kidding.  I haven't finished it yet.  I'm only halfway finished.  Anyone know a good word that rhymes with cantankerous?)

Have a great weekend, everyone!

(UPDATE:  I just read in today's NY Times that TV Land is going to start rerunning episodes of "Miami Vice" this weekend.  Many of you know about my love of this show. What do I do?  Crockett and Tubbs?  Or major life-altering eye surgery?  Tough call.  Guess I'll get my eyes done.  Damn!  At least it's not "The White Shadow."  Then, I'd really have to reconsider.)

Memes for the New Year!

As much as I dislike memes, I have to admit that it was pretty entertaining the last time around.  Recently, I got tagged by two of my favorite bloggers, my old friend Landis Mom of Bumblebee Sweet Potato and my new buddy Kemp.

Landis Mom wanted to know about 5 ways in which the Peanut is weird (LM, do you mean aside from the fact that my daughter likes to eat dog food and stick her finger up the dog's butt?)  Because although the Peanut is only 15 months old, she's already starting to pick up some unique character traits that I assume come from the fact that she gets the weirdo gene from both her mom and her dad.  Anyway, here's the short list...

(1) The Peanut will eat absolutely anything.  She's like a rabid dog at a junkyard.  It's absolutely fascinating to watch.  She's like a miniature John Belushi with the munchies at a buffet.  In the past week alone, she's eaten fried clams, whitefish salad, pad thai, chicken liver, roasted chestnuts, foie gras, and spicy cabbage.

(2) She can't stop kissing babies.  Whenever adults try to kiss or hug her, she either flexes herself into a rigid board or she kicks until you put her down.  But if another baby is around?  She's all smiles and kisses.  She LOVES kissing other babies.  Any time she sees a baby, she runs up to kiss him or her on the head.  Hence, my new nickname for her...Da Mayor!

(3) The Peanut has the funniest poop face you've ever seen.  She'll be running at me full speed and suddenly freeze in mid-action.  She'll quickly grab onto the nearest pole to brace herself and her face will be absolutely expressionless.  When she's done pooping, she starts clapping enthusiastically as if to applaud herself on a job well done (N.B.  I've been known to come out of the toilet after a good one and give my wife a high five.  Coincidence?  I think not.)

(4)  She's going to kill me one day for saying this here but the Peanut loves to fart and pee in the tub.  Somehow, she must have done this once and entertained the crap out of herself.  It's like she holds her pee until it's bathtime.  And the fart bubbles?  Must be like a minaiture jacuzzi for her.  Totally bizarre!

(5) Although she tends to be relatively fearless in all her life endeavors, she apparently has an enormous fear of bearded white men.   

Kemp had a series of memes for me to answer.  I'm not going to do all of them but here were some of my favorites:

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Ten years ago, I had just quit working in Washington, DC as a policy analyst and came up to New York to start up my own company.  I was a workaholic without a cent to my name.  I was living in an apartment that contained precisely one bed and one television.  An empty cardboard box served as my dining table/coffeetable/desk.  But I was young, single and living in Manhattan.  So who really needed much more? 

What were you doing one year ago?

Falling head over heels in love with my little baby girl. 

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics:

I wouldn't even know where to start.  Shit, I'm Korean.  Karaoke is in my fucking blood.  Let's just say that if, by some bizarre catastrophe, every lyric sheet for every song by The Cure, Bowie, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Springsteen, Depeche Mode, The Rolling Stones, The Police, A Tribe Called Quest, and Public Enemy were to disappear from the planet?  I'd probably be able to write them down for the rest of humanity.  And I'd get about half the lyrics to songs by U2, Oasis, The Replacements, and Prince. 

Five bad habits (former and current):

1. Sex
2. Drugs
3. Rock and Roll
4. Booze
5. Cigarettes

Five things you like doing:

(See above.)

Ok, I'm not going to pass these memes around to anyone but I am curious to know one thing...

What's the weirdest thing YOUR kid (or any kid you know) does?