For the first year of my daughter's life, I was pretty much THE MAN! It was abundantly clear to everyone on the planet that I was definitely the Peanut's favorite person in the universe. If she ever got hurt, she'd run to me. When she wanted to play, she'd always seek me out. And whenever she needed a hug, it was my arms that she'd always run into.
Internet...those days are fucking over!
In the latest Peanut lovability standings, I'm currently in 3rd place and, if I drop any further, I might seriously be in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time. I'm not quite sure who's in the lead. It's a toss-up between the BossLady and the nanny. At this point, it's still anybody's game and the only thing that's certain is that I'm definitely trailing the co-leaders.
On the one hand, it's great seeing the Peanut bond with the beautiful and lovely BossLady. During the days of Peanut's "Daddy is the Fun Guy" stage, it was very tough on my wife. When the Peanut would scream and wail in her arms and could only be comforted by me, it would literally bring BossLady to tears. Those of you who are parents definitely know what I'm talking about. When your child rejects you for someone else, it's like a million tiny daggers cutting through your heart. You feel like a sacred trust has been broken and there will always be a part of you that wonders why your child doesn't like you. Sure, rationally speaking, we all know that children not only go through different stages but also that it's hard for them to focus on two different people at the same time. But knowing that doesn't necessarily make it any easier.
This past weekend, I got to experience that firsthand. Sunday morning, the Peanut wanted nothing to do with her father. She would grab BossLady's hand and walk her away from me. Peanut would cling to her leg and scream bloody murder whenever she was left alone with me. And if BossLady even THOUGHT about leaving the room, the Peanut could sense it and would start freaking.
Man, I pulled out every trick I had in the book...funny faces, underwear on my head, horsie rides, and story books. I even tried to bribe her with a croissant. What did the Peanut do? She grabbed the croissant out of my hand and ran back to her mommy! ("D'oh! Excuse me, little girl. I believe this knife in my back belongs to you!")
Now, I'm a pretty competitive guy so I don't take being in 2nd or 3rd place in anything very well. At the very least, I need to bump the nanny down into third place. So to rectify the situation, I'm mounting a comeback. I won't go into all the details here but let's just say that my plan involves cute little kittens, ponies and an all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet.
Because NOBODY puts Daddy in a corner!