For the first year of my daughter's life, I was pretty much THE MAN! It was abundantly clear to everyone on the planet that I was definitely the Peanut's favorite person in the universe. If she ever got hurt, she'd run to me. When she wanted to play, she'd always seek me out. And whenever she needed a hug, it was my arms that she'd always run into.
Internet...those days are fucking over!
In the latest Peanut lovability standings, I'm currently in 3rd place and, if I drop any further, I might seriously be in danger of missing the playoffs for the first time. I'm not quite sure who's in the lead. It's a toss-up between the BossLady and the nanny. At this point, it's still anybody's game and the only thing that's certain is that I'm definitely trailing the co-leaders.
On the one hand, it's great seeing the Peanut bond with the beautiful and lovely BossLady. During the days of Peanut's "Daddy is the Fun Guy" stage, it was very tough on my wife. When the Peanut would scream and wail in her arms and could only be comforted by me, it would literally bring BossLady to tears. Those of you who are parents definitely know what I'm talking about. When your child rejects you for someone else, it's like a million tiny daggers cutting through your heart. You feel like a sacred trust has been broken and there will always be a part of you that wonders why your child doesn't like you. Sure, rationally speaking, we all know that children not only go through different stages but also that it's hard for them to focus on two different people at the same time. But knowing that doesn't necessarily make it any easier.
This past weekend, I got to experience that firsthand. Sunday morning, the Peanut wanted nothing to do with her father. She would grab BossLady's hand and walk her away from me. Peanut would cling to her leg and scream bloody murder whenever she was left alone with me. And if BossLady even THOUGHT about leaving the room, the Peanut could sense it and would start freaking.
Man, I pulled out every trick I had in the book...funny faces, underwear on my head, horsie rides, and story books. I even tried to bribe her with a croissant. What did the Peanut do? She grabbed the croissant out of my hand and ran back to her mommy! ("D'oh! Excuse me, little girl. I believe this knife in my back belongs to you!")
Now, I'm a pretty competitive guy so I don't take being in 2nd or 3rd place in anything very well. At the very least, I need to bump the nanny down into third place. So to rectify the situation, I'm mounting a comeback. I won't go into all the details here but let's just say that my plan involves cute little kittens, ponies and an all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet.
Because NOBODY puts Daddy in a corner!
Dude, I've NEVER been my son's favorite parent. He's 3 now and he's been a momma's boy since birth. We're just now starting to do some father-son activities that I hope will lift me in the standings. But so far, I'm a distant second!
Posted by: Brent | January 31, 2006 at 09:55 AM
I'd let you bond with one of mine but, as you know, their experiencing a little stranger anxiety at the moment.
The pony thing might be a little hard in NYC but I'm geniunely surprised the underwear on the head thing didn't work.
Posted by: Matthew | January 31, 2006 at 10:23 AM
Been there. While I was unemployed and a SAHD, the twins got very attached to me and almost totally ignored the wife, which didn't make her happy at all.
Eventually, I was relagated to 2nd place (though that becomes a very distant 4th when my parents are around) and The Jelly is still a 'Daddy's Girl'
Posted by: Kemp | January 31, 2006 at 10:56 AM
This is so common, mom is ususally number 1, dad 2 and nanny three. I was the nanny for years and I was #2 or #3 but usually #2. You have got to sneak ahesd of the nanny.
Posted by: Gia | January 31, 2006 at 11:04 AM
Ha ha! The all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet should vault you into at least 2nd place!
Funny, but I think my DH also is entrenched in 3rd place right now. The kids are enthralled by one of their uncles who just moved nearby. He's unemployed so he's been babysitting a lot. He's officially "Mr. Fun"!
Posted by: Leora | January 31, 2006 at 11:14 AM
My girl baby always liked her Daddy best until recently, now everything is Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy... you get the idea. I loved it for three days. Now I kind of miss the Daddy days. That being said - I have two.
Oh - and both parents are always trumped by Grandma.
Posted by: Sarah | January 31, 2006 at 12:19 PM
Good luck, MD. We're pulling for ya!
Posted by: Rich | January 31, 2006 at 01:32 PM
Yeah, Dude is 17 mos and we're just hitting it. The other night while I was cooking, he actually pulled my pants down to my ankles as he clawed at me to be lifted up. (For the record, they were yoga-like pants and I was helpess chopping onions and crying.) My worthless husband just laughed as I wiggled and spread my knees to keep them up, blinking back tears and yelling "Would you GET HIM? PLEASE?!"
Posted by: Xdm | January 31, 2006 at 01:34 PM
Mate, all the more reason to get that scary robot, pronto.
Posted by: ILYG | January 31, 2006 at 03:00 PM
Sorry, but it was bound to happen. In my house it was the other way around, after a year I was suddenly chopped liver. But now as they are a little older, it changes every so often. In fact with my older daughter, we can't keep track, because she changes it up on us all the time. Last night it was my mom. Gran had to do everything with and for her, we couldn't even hand her a cup without her having a cow. Give the Peanut a few months and you will be her king again. Trust me on this, there is a thing between a two year old girl and her Daddy, which I can't explain. And don't go the pony or kitten route, because remember a month or so ago, that girl at her Bat Mitzvah that we were all talking about? I bet her Daddy bought her a pony when she was one. See how she turned out.
Posted by: Melissa | January 31, 2006 at 03:03 PM
I so know what you are going through. Our older daughter has us ranked #1 & #2. I am usually in first place, but he frequently trumps me, and I am cool with that. The younger daughter is trying her damndest to climb back into the birth canal and has no use for Daddy. It upsets him so much and I feel readlly bad about it. I, for one, would LOVE to not have her as an added appendage. I think the biggest differnece for us was the older daughter was a product of daycare for the first 2 1/2 years of her life, whereas the younger daughter isn't. And she dislikes everyone who isn't her mommy or her sister equally.
Hang in there and let me know how the cupcake buffet goes. If it works, I'll be passing that tip along to my husband.
Posted by: misfithausfrau | January 31, 2006 at 03:14 PM
i wanted to punch grandma last night when my baby threw a fit when she was leaving.
oops, did i say that outloud?
Posted by: eliaday | January 31, 2006 at 04:03 PM
On the one hand, I'm glad that my daughter has a good relationship with our nanny.
On the other hand? It kills me that she cries when the nanny leaves but not when I do.
Posted by: Susannah | January 31, 2006 at 04:49 PM
"Momma said Knock You Out...Momma said Knock You Out..."
Don't be surprised if the two little women (assuming that the nanny is a woman) are ganging up on ya.
I'm in your corner, MD.
Go For It!
Posted by: LeeMarvin | January 31, 2006 at 08:18 PM
I don't have kids, but I can relate in that when our pit bull puppy snuggles up on the couch between me and my husband, I always get his ass end. Every single time. He'll put his head in my husband's lap and even some of our friends' laps, but dang if Mommy doesn't always get the ass end.
Posted by: Pattie | January 31, 2006 at 08:22 PM
Just wait until you have a second kid, and you won't even make it to the medal stand.
Posted by: LOD | January 31, 2006 at 09:46 PM
It's bribery time.
Little girls LOVE little Chanel suits.
Posted by: girls gone child | January 31, 2006 at 09:57 PM
Don't worry, MD! Although the Peanut may go through various stages, she'll always be Daddy's little girl.
Posted by: Leana | January 31, 2006 at 11:18 PM
Ugghhh you semi quoted Dirty dancing. At least there are two humans above you on the list, I come third after Elmo
Posted by: bill | February 01, 2006 at 08:04 AM
I know, Bill. Forgive me. The wife makes me watch "Dirty Dancing" EVERY time it comes on TV. In exchange, she has to watch "Roadhouse" and "Rudy" with me!
That's why I added the L.L. Cool J quote in the header. You know, to add some street cred.
Posted by: MetroDad | February 01, 2006 at 08:28 AM
Right boot!
GOT IT!!
That is sad and pathetic and strangely comforting.
Posted by: Xdm | February 01, 2006 at 08:43 AM
Yeah, my husband has gone through the same thing lately. When he tries to kiss her she turns her face away and laughs. It's hard on me too, though, because whenever I leave her with him she cries and I feel guilty.
Your plan sounds like a winner.
Posted by: lesbonstemps | February 01, 2006 at 10:28 AM
Uhhh, does LL even have street cred anymore? I mean, after Last Holiday and all?
Maybe you should start planning that $10 million bat mitzvah after all...
Posted by: landismom | February 01, 2006 at 10:56 AM
How about a surrogate? I'll make nice for kittens and Chanel suits.
Posted by: the weirdgirl | February 01, 2006 at 11:13 AM
My mom still gets jealous that I love to spend so much time hanging out with my dad when I'm home. And I'm 26!
Found your blog by the way of CrazyVirgo and BaconGrease, and they're right - you're fucking hilarious.
Posted by: tweets | February 01, 2006 at 11:56 AM
I know how you feel, Metro. My daughter is 18 months and I don't even think I'm in the top 5! Ahead of me are mommy, grandma 1, grandma 2, the nanny, and her teddy bear. I think the dog and I are tied somewhere around 8th place!
Posted by: Ryan | February 01, 2006 at 12:09 PM
You want to know something funny? It was this way when my son was little. He wanted nothing to do with me, but now he's all about daddy. It's really cool. I wonder if this is a normal development thing for kids? Little girls initially wanting more to do with daddy and then flip-flopping around 1 year of age. Little boys vise versa.
I'm going have to see how it goes when the little girl arrives in the Chateau d' Phat Daddy.
Posted by: Phat Daddy | February 01, 2006 at 01:53 PM
My cats totally love my boyfriend more.
It's possible this has something to with the all-you-can-eat cupcake buffet he lays on, so I'd say you were on the right track with that. Maybe also change her litter and throw a squeaky toy in her general direction every once in a while.
Posted by: Nothing But Bonfires | February 01, 2006 at 03:27 PM
I've been in first place since day one. It's now 21 months later and now this "honour" sometimes wears a little thin. Not that my munchkin isn't my entire heart and soul, but it would be nice to know how it feels to walk without a 25-lb weight strapped to your lower leg.
I know my hubby feels a bit left out sometimes, but hey, he should be lucky that he gets to outline the imprint of his butt on the sofa watching TV every night while I spend an hour trying to put her to bed because she screams bloody murder if he tries.
Of course, if her auntie's dogs are anywhere within sniffing range, everyone but the pooches simply disappear from the favourites scale!
Posted by: Tawnya | February 01, 2006 at 03:48 PM
don't worry. she'll come back to her dad. i did.
Posted by: concha | February 01, 2006 at 06:48 PM
you guys still have potty time right? a little QT over a couple turds? I thought that was your special place.
Posted by: crazyvirgo | February 01, 2006 at 07:19 PM
It's funny, just the other day over lunch and a bottle, The Peanut was telling me...
OH SHIT! That was supposed to be a secret!
She'll be back. What other dad could sneak her through dark tunnels to see the english beat? come to think of it, will you be my dad??!!
Posted by: Rbrown | February 01, 2006 at 08:40 PM
I think you can defintely beat the nanny and I'd say you've got a 50/50 chance with BossLady, but what happens when she hits puberty and she no longer wants to hold your hand in public? Well, either way, she'll always come back to her daddy.
Posted by: Nina | February 01, 2006 at 08:54 PM
Yea, just wait a few years. She'll be giving BossLady the 'ol "FINE! I'll just go ask DADDY!" And life will be forever changed.
Good luck.
Posted by: gina | February 01, 2006 at 11:11 PM
U have to tell me your secret. Daniel has been crazy about me for the past three months and I could use a break:-))
AD our of San Jose del Cabo
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