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November 28, 2005

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enygma

I think my parents and I are at the point where we embarass each other.

Pope Benedict XVI

My turkey was very dry, and I was quite disappointed.

I also mistakenly fell asleep on a friend’s couch and then awoke to “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” on the television. I can’t say I’ve been more horrified in all my life.

Pattie

Glad to hear you guys made it safely back to the big city. Sounds like your Thanksgiving went really well, despite the Peanut's plane misery (I think your idea's a million dollar one, BTW) and the primitive home entertainment/computer conditions that would have driven weaker mortals to suicide (myself included).

And I can totally relate to your elation upon discovering a nearby JITB. That's how I felt when Virginia Beach finally got a Quizno's.

And now back to my usual Monday night PB recap. :)

Brent

My parents seem to have made it their life's mission to embarrass me in public. Farting or burping in public? Hah! That's nothing. In public, my dad scratches his balls constantly, picks his nose freely, wipes boogers on the table, yells constantly and constantly displays an impressive carpenter's crack. And that's all on a GOOD day!

Jane C.

We also spent the long weekend with my parents who had no cable TV, TiVo, DVR, high-speed internet or Wifi. I felt like I was living in a cave. Hard to believe how far we've come, isn't it?

Heidi

Million dollar idea MD...and bosslady's mom sound a lot like my aunt with her kistchen antics. Eevryone needs one of those robochefs around the holidays.

RBrown

My mom once told me the opposite: that her kids unknowingly did MUCH to embarrass her at very young ages. Her most embarrassing (and now mine) story was when I was about 3 and she had to take me in the ladies room stall with her because we were in public. I asked her, in apparently a very loud voice, why she had a beard on her bottom. Yep, that's right. Classic. I hope that's not too weird to post but my mom and I still laugh at how absolutely mortified she was when she heard the other ladies laughing and how she didn't ever want to emerge from the stall. Poor woman.

So maybe Peanut will start to embarrass you early...???

ShotgunDaddy

Turkey has to be the most overrated meal in culinary history. I don't mind it if it's sliced in a deli and folded onto my sandwich, but in any other form it's just a waste of time. I finally drew the line about five years ago, vowing never again to have turkey on Thanksgiving, and I haven't looked back. Ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, fried noodles, rice -- all good. Just hold the turkey, please.

And by the way, the second most overrated item in culinary history? Pumpkin pie. Stick with apple pie -- this is America, afterall.

misfithausfaru

I had to laugh when you mentioned the idiosyncrasies of your parents and in-laws. When my father was alive he blew his nose during every dinner in a restaurant. It wouldn't have been so bad had it not sounded like an angry elephant and startled nearby patrons. I will never forget the day he scared a bus girl who was walking by with a tray of plates and glasses. Yep, she jumped and dropped the tray. I wanted to die. My MIL has a problem with random belching (big ones) and she always say, "OH! I don't know WHERE that came from!"

misfithausfrau

When my father was alive, he took every opportunity to blow his nose during dinner. I was always mortified when he did it in restaurants because it sounded like an angry elephant and always startled patrons. I will never forget the time a bus girl walked by with a tray of dirty dishes and glasses. Yep, she jumped and dropped the tray. My father was oblivious to the fact that he caused it. I wanted to die. My MIL belches while eating and always says, "OH! I don't know WHERE that came from!"

landismom

I'm astonished at how dependent I've become on high-speed internet, considering I've had it at home for less than a year. At this point, the concept of dial-up is pretty terrifying.

And I think your travel kit apologia is brilliant. Definitely a million-seller.

CroutonBoy

It's a man's God-given right to belch at the dinner table...the louder the better. Methinks I would like the BossDaddy

Also, good idea on the plane bribes. However, I think it would be more appreciated if it also included a parachute.

Queen of Ass

OH MY GOD! You were HERE, MD! We should've had coffee or something!

Ed Bacchus

Wish I would have known you were in Plano. That is where I live and spent my holiday. We could have met at a Starbucks and compared families, believe me, I would have won hands down. Look for my post tomorrow about my Wednesday Thanksgiving day Dinner.

Linda B

I think there are many people who think a mouthful of food is required for conversation.

My dad also has a knack for doing very cute and very embarassing things in restaurants. One time he was motioning for the waitress and when she came over he opened his mouth to ask for ice water and it sounded more like "Ice WAHBURRRP"

Nice.

Tawnya

Totally agree with the plane bribery idea...a million and a half dollars for that one! I'd like to place my order for three kits to arrive the morning of December 20. With three flights to endure with my 19 month old over the holidays, I would also like my kits to include a bottle of single malt and a number of random sedatives...for me.

Margalit

You wanna hear embarassing? When I was in high school and out on a date, at 11pm on the dot my dad would turn on the burgler alarm and wait. When I got home I had to ring the doorbell because he would not give any of us the alarm code. When he answwered the door, he was ALWAYS in his boxers and a wifebeater. And he would just stand there glaring. Put a real damper on my social life until I went to college!

Your family sounds endearing. Just keep telling yourself, it's a cultural difference....

Matthew

My wife worries about me embarrassing the kids every time I write a post about them. She's certain they're going to be embarrassed by me mentioning they have a huge zit when they're five months old.

I tell her this will all be useful for their therapist.

As for the bribes on the plane, I would have gladly taken them from you MD. Never turn down a free drink on a plane, I always say.

Dutch

Margalit, God someday I want to BE your dad!

Melissa

Good - I'm glad my kid was not the only nightmare on a plane this year. Sheesh, and she is normally my easy one. Maybe I should take this opportunity to make a public apology to all on the flight from LAX to DIA on Wednesday afternoon. I've forgotten the flight number, but oh do I feel bad. I promise to buy you all drinks next time. Ahhh, I feel better. Now MD - I have to ask, does your dad play "pull my finger" with the Peanut? It’s my dad's favorite game. Luckily we missed that enjoyable experience this trip, because we went to go and be with friends. I love the Sourdough Jack and Milkshakes and would rather have it than turkey. I can't stand turkey, although I love all other holiday food. Glad you had fun. Did they at least have internet hook-up? Do you have wireless?

Corinne

So glad you got Jack-in-the-Box :) And as far as those little things that bug us... we alll have parents like that :) When our family visits my grandmother's farm, and then return home, there is what we call a "farm-fart"... the water at my grandmother's house is incredibly iron laden, and smells to high heavens. So anything made with the water (tea, cooking, etc) that is ingested smells HORRIBLY for days... and it's so embarrassing, that no one can hide from it... so we all sit and laugh about the farm farts... quite entertaining... :) (and I'm sure, wayyyy TMI)

the weirdgirl

Oh, that story about your mom and golfing... classic! I'm going to try to not intentionally embarass my children, having been a victm of that growing up (my father would call us "monster" in public... can you imagine? me at 12, trying to buy "grown up" shoes and being called monster in front of the clerk and all the other customers? and then him laughing really loud); but I don't think I'll be able to help the unintentional enbarassments. Climbing a tree... I can already see that in my poor kid's future.

L.

It never fails to amaze me that what horrifies us about our own parents actually comes across as endearing when we tell the stories to others -- well, except for the farts.

Nothing But Bonfires

It could be worse. He could say "Garcon!"

CityMama

First, 2 tacos for 99 cents. What is it about deep-fried soy protein and American cheese that is so freaking delicious.

And, my mom used to check us for boobs and pubes when we were kids. In front of her friends. She thought it was hilarious.

Marty

I feel so deprived because I've never eaten at Jack-In-The-Box!

No Tivo! That's just fucking horrible. I hate when I'm somebody's house and I grab their remote and I slowly come to the realization that it doesn't have the reverse button.

funny post! good to know i'm not the only one with embarassing family members.
my husband and FIL like to play a game they call "shoot each other with farts". they like to play it in public, of course, b/c that's where it's the most fun! one of them will come up to the other one and pretend to shoot them while letting out a huge fart. they both crack up while my MIL and I try to act like we don't know them. oh, and i'm with you on the public nail-trimming thing. that's one of my pet peeves.

Brent

Holy crap, MD! I can't believe nobody commented or noticed that photo you put up for this post. That's fucking hysterical! Where the hell did you find that? You crack me up, dude!

METRODAD

Congratulations, Brent! You're the winner of the 2005 Most Astute MD Reader Award. Your prize is in the mail. Wait by the front door for it. It'll be there any minute now!

In all seriousness? I can't believe that over 3,000 people read this post and not a single one noticed that photo...until you! Kudos to you, Encyclopedia Brown!

L.

To be fair to those of us who are getting on in years and have less-than-perfect eyesight, it`s impossible to appreciate the photo unless you click on it to enlarge it -- which I just did, and I now understand why my hub is so grossed out by turkey!

Stacy

Umm... would you turn me in to DFCS if I told you I've been known to give my peanut a few drops of Children's Nighttime Triaminic before a journey? You would? Okay. Nothing to see here, folks, move along...

amateurdad

Some of your quotes are too hilarious:

"Like I was battling a giant turd"

That one is up there with....

"When can a brother get some motherfuckin' cheesecake around here?"

ShotgunDaddy

Okay. So I happened to be looking at your site when my five-year-old daughter walked past the computer and noticed the small little picture of the three turkeys waiting to be cooked. "What's that Daddy?" Oh, those are turkeys. Watch...

And then I clicked on the photo to enlarge it for her, something I HAD NOT PREVIOUSLY DONE. And what did we both see? A strange man curled up like a turkey with his naked ass hanging out. Nice.

Luckily, Alison was focused on something other than the ass. "Why does that one have real feet?" I closed the window as fast as possible -- I don't know, Allie. Kinda weird, huh?

So thanks for that, MD, thanks for that.

matt

Next time you're in Plano, you may lack connectivity but you will have great Vietnamese food. The team behind Nam Phuong, a great NYC restaurant, has closed it down and decamped for Plano, where they will be opening a restaurant called Zenda House. I may actually have to plan a trip to Plano just to eat their salt and pepper squid again.

air airline american mile

Prejudice will always be a part of society

john

More or less not much exciting happening today. I just don't have anything to say. More or less nothing seems worth bothering with.

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