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November 21, 2005


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While we're on the Dooce-thing, can I get in a "Hey I'm first!!!!" comment.
That felt good. Really good. Have a good Monday. Mine's almost over. Time to go home.


oh MD. thanks for that posting. it was kind of wierd to see your pic, because you're a total mystery to most of us, but thanks for keeping the mysteriouso alive with the celeb sunglasses.

i work in, apparently, a purian office where people only leave to sleep and, possibly, procreate more puritans. this being my 3rd month of suffering in order to erase the sins of my creative past, i was less than enthused at the thought of another monday without a weekend. BUT, MD, being the funniest poppa around, made me laugh so hard at poop, indian, whopper and otherwise. thanks! now i must go receive three lashes for taking this 5 minutes off.


I was thinking MD was becoming more like atrios than dooce. I love that he writes a post about shrinkidinks and 7,000 people leave comments. He should just start publishing the word "discuss" and we'll all just have a conversation about whatever. I think right now is the time to declare that (1) it is about time he published a picture of himself; (2) but what's up with the Michael Jackson disguise, dude? Sunglasses and a grumpy old man hat? You're lucky that baby is so darn cute, otherwise we might be tempted to give you a hard time about your highly-cherished anonymity.


I totally agree with Dutch! MetroDad is like Batman, a man of mystery. Will we ever see the real MD? Or will your identity be revealed in stages? Is this part one of the unveiling?


Who is this Dooce that you speak of?

Ed Bacchus

Being a native New Yorker, I have found memories of public transportation. You can entertain yourself by examining the broad spectrum of our society. If you ever want to raise your self-esteem or self worth, just take a ride on the "N" train from Coney Island to lower Manhattan. My memories include the following:
1.Always bring something to read
2. If you get space to pull out your reading material, act like your reading but pay attention to what is going on around you
3. Don't get caught staring at someone. They may consider you're violating their privacy and begin punching you in the face.
4. Make sure all your bags, pockets, purses are closed
5. Watch for pick-pockets
6. Look closely at any surface prior to touching and lastly,
7. No matter what you do, don't fall asleep--that's when all the really good stuff happens.....


MD- Love the pic, and I love seeing that I am not the only person whose child is permanently attached to a binky. The poop in the diaper thing - soooo mean to the nanny. I try so hard not to do that to our day care.

David Cowan

One day when you hopefully as many Peanuts as I do (3), you will come to appreciate, anticipate, and even love Monday mornings.


Heh -- I published a post about how pissed off I get by people on transit. What is with not respecting the space of others? Get your leg OFF of me. And it's time to see if Peanut might not be a bunny -- it sounds like she's pooping like one.

And yes, MD, I think you are turning into one of THOSE bloggers -- and soon the comments will be gone...;).


Just wanted to say that...

(1) I agree with Dutch. Reveal yourself, mysterious one!
(2) As your daughter gets older, you'll see that poop comes in virtually ALL sizes, shapes and colors. Just when you think you've seen it all, something new will poop out to surprise you.
(3) Although taking the train to work would be easier and cheaper, I drive. Main reason? The lack of courtesy that strangers display to one another. Such a shame.
(4) One of the reasons I love coming here is for the comments. Seriously, MD, you've got some of the funniest & brightest readers I've seen in the blogosphere. Whether the topic is funny or serious, I love the level of discussion. Please never close the comments!


MD, Thank you for the nice comment on my site. You must be a father yourself, and is that a PICTURE of your little one? Oh, my, how cute. She's adorable! My, oh, my, what a cutie.

So, how charming was that?

Nice hat, by the way! Where would one buy one of those? Aren't you in the fashion industry? =)

Oh, any chance you took a picture of the perfectly formed poop balls? What? I'm just asking.


My worst NYC subway experience was a couple of years ago, when there was this funky smell in our subway car and my husband starts wildly gesticulating at me to get off at the next stop NOW. Turns out someone had pooped on the floor near where he was standing. Nice.

I don't yet have any kids, but my dogs' poop is always nice and uniform. Guess it's their daily diet of same old-same old.

Cute pic of you and the Peanut. She is just too adorable.


Wow. I'm just stunned. Not by the poop, or by the picture of you (although both of those things are amazing to me).

I'm stunned by the fact that I've never (even after Seinfeld devoted a whole episode to the manbra/bro controversy) wondered about men's cup sizes until today. Would they number them X, Y, Z instead of A, B, C?

Great post, MD.

the weirdgirl

Poop, feet, indian food... and then the CRAVING of indian food? Ew ew ew.

That's gonna stay with me all day.


ever had to deal with a blueberry poop? my son has a cookie monster appetite for blueberries and, given general healthiness of blueberries, its hard to say no to him. well, all good things come to an end. the end, in this instance, isn't too pretty. his digestive system mimics a blender. i prefer blueberry shakes after a 10 mile run.

these days, the only diapers which bother me bother me because i carbo-loaded the night before with a cocktail of cocktails.

anonymity is underrated...look what happened to david lat, the AUSA out of newark. he wanted credit for his entertaining musings on the federal judiciary so he "outed" himself in the new yorker. now his informative, insightful blog is no more.

Girl's Gone Child

Archer has a tootsie-roll butt. His poops come out looking like perfect, little tootsie-rolls. Candied-butt babies dot com.

Girl's Gone Child

P.S... a la poopy-indian food feet, I am the same way with B.O. and mexican food. Body odor smells like taquitos and sometimes, whilst holding my nose, my mouth waters.

Your honesty inspires even the most horrifying confessions. Bravo.


With the fishing hat, olive drab cargo pants, and the sweater, you could be the Bizarro Henry Blake.


Glad to know chivalry ain't dead, Metro. On behalf of pregnant women everywhere, thanks for making that jerk give up his seat. The lack of courtesy displayed is mind-boggling sometimes. I'm 6 months pregnant now and when I got on the bus in Chicago the other day, not a single person offered me a seat. What has happened to all of us?


Somebody's gunning for a supermodel position. First the leopard bikini, now this years #1 accesory...look out world it's supermodelmetrodad!

By the way, is that a phone in your pocket?


beware of the poop marbles! they can stealthly roll out of a dipe like nobody's business. i am pleased that the mystery of MD's hotness is resolved to my satisfaction. and that peanut is sooooooo peanutty. but the old wait-till-betsey-shows-up-to-manage-the-poop trick? i thought i invented that. happy monday.

(i threw up in my mouth a little when you described the indian food thing. ew,)


Picture! Be still my beating heart!


My baby poops Whoppers, Tootsie Rolls and sometimes Charleston Chews. I only wish they smelled like chocolate.

About the Man Boobs: Since you design sportswear, how about a Mansiere (or Bro). I mean, if you've got time to blog...

Loved the photo. Peanut could not be cuter. I think I bought my husband that very same outfit--including the hat.


So awesome, MD. You and Dooce are my two favorite bloggers. I love this post. Are you really friends with Heather?


So THAT'S what you look like! =D I really like your picture.

Chocolate Makes it Better

Those ball things are weird aren't they. Kinda reminds me of deer poo.


No shame in passing the buck on the stinkbomb to the nanny. I pulled a similar move at daycare a few months ago. Smelled it just as I was strapping Girl Twin into the car seat. The honorable thing would have been to take her back inside and do it myself. Luckily, I am entirely without honor.

However, even I would have gotten up for the pregnant lady on the subway.


So much for your secret identity. Now Dr. Octopus will be after you...

The leg-spreaders are the biggest bastards, aren't they? Seriously, Kareem, you don't need to take up the whole bench. Let Grandma park her walker so she doesn't tumble over when the train hits the breaks.


Like BMC said, BEWARE of the poop marbles. I had the unfortunate experience of stepping on one -- BAREFOOT -- after it had rolled out of the diaper. Beyond grim.

Love the photo! Thanks so much for posting it.


My daughter poops whoppers, rabbit pellets and my fave - the marble green poop that can be smelled from another county. Will this child EVER be potty trained? Oh, and thanks, I will NEVER eat Indian food again. Thanks MD! Peanut is a fashion diva - lovin' the binky holder...


LOVED the photo. Thanks. You confirmed my vision of you as a cross beween Daniel Dae Kim and Chow Yun Fat. And the fact that you're so in love with your wife and daughter? Sigh...do you have any brothers?


MD, you'll find as your daughter gets older that poop comes in more shapes and sizes than you ever could have imagined. We also didn't experience the Whooper balls until our son was about a year old. We thought it was pretty strange. But I think any parent with older kids will tell you that you have not even tapped the full spectrum of varied poops. Wait until you get the green explosions. Or the Whopper balls swimming in a sea of diarrhea. Then, there are the tiny BBs and the giant logs. Take it from me. You and BossLady have a lot to see and learn. Enjoy the ride!


A picture... wowsers!!!


Love the photo, MD. The Peanut is absolutely adorable!

Queen of Ass

You two are completely freaking adorable!

And please! And thank you! Would you like to have my seat?

The Missus



Poop is still very exciting around our house. A couple of months ago our six-year-old son (feel free to fix all punctuation!) got all excited and had all of us come into the bathroom. He had to show us his "MANSIZE poop!" Is that a gene or something?


Peanut is just the cutest! And you are such a good dad!

Poop is still very exciting around our house. A couple of months ago our six-year-old son (feel free to fix all punctuation!) got all excited and had us come into the bathroom. He had to show us his "MANSIZE poop!" Is that a gene or something?

Linda B

What a sweet picture.
I like your look, MD.
Incognito... ;)


WE LOVE STORM KING!!! What a great picture of the two of you!

And the malted milk ball poop story is unforgettable. Unfortunately. ;)

Hope you're having a Happy T-Day, you guys.


Thanks for the pic. In my girlfriend's imagination you were a dead ringer for Andy Lau. I was concerned she was having impure thoughts about metrodad. Thanks for putting the illusion to rest. Don't get me wrong you're handsome, but you're no Andy Lau (neither am I).


that was funny as hell! I got hooked into your blog and couldn't get out but the poop, part 1 & 2 had me going!

poor peanut!

ISHMAel back


ISHMAel back



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