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October 20, 2005

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» Because He Made Me An Offer I Couldn't Refuse from Because I'm Your Father
I know, I know... I suck. I've been slamming at work lately, and pretty much all I want to do when I get home is hang with the wife and kid, and veg. I've got like six posts in draft mode, but haven't had the time or motivation to finish them up. And I... [Read More]

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Dutch

1. I had a B&W Avedon photograph of a topless Tilda Swinton I'd ripped from a New Yorker in my extremely lame stash of adolescent porn. times were tough back before the internet. and boobies were boobies.

2. I can't believe I admitted that. And I never would have it it weren't for you, metrodad.

BossLady

7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. See all 7 wonders of the world
2. Go back to the Galapagos Islands
3. Become an expert skiier/snowboarder
4. Become fluent in French
5. Travel to all seven continents
6. Become an expert swimmer and diver
7. Sing to my grandchildren

7 Things I Cannot Do

1. Swim
2. Speak French
3. Fart on command
4. Run 10-minute mile
5. Stop shopping
6. Cook everyday
7. Give up sugar

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex

1. Masculinity. MD is a manly man!
2. Confidence but not arrogance.
3. Intelligence
4. Sick, quirky sense of humor
5. Worldliness
6. Versatility. MD is at home eating spam and kimchi as he is eating seared foie gras in a French villa.
7. Being a great dad. I found my perfect man, didn't I?


7 Things That I Say Most Often

1. God damn! I'm hungry!
2. Ech! Did you fart!?!?
3. It's your turn to get her.
4. Man, I need a pick me up...
5. I'm going to bed.
6. We need to talk...
7. I want to be a SAHM!


7 Celebrity Crushes

1. Billie Joe Armstrong (lead singer of Green Day)
2. Colin Firth (MR. DARCY!!!)
3. Marty Casey (2nd place winner in RockStar INXS)
4. Clive Owen (He should have been the next James Bond)
5. Angelina Jolie (Even I have to admit that she's sexy with a charitable heart)
6. Jimmy Fallon (He's funny and he's boyishly charming, esp. when he sings)
7. Steve Carrell (aka 40 Yr-Old Virgin. Something sexy about his complete dorkiness)

Brent

This post affirms everything I thought about you before, MD. You truly are too cool for school. Thanks. Loved reading this.

panthergirl

Only because I LURRRRVE you... I'll do it. But probably not until tomorrow, because I want everyone to see my post from today first. ;)

Leora

Yay! The Bosslady speaks! Love your answers, darling. Especially about Colin Firth. I've never had a thing for Englishmen but I'm gaga over him.

And listen to MD. Start your own blog!

Stacy

BossLady speaks!!!!!

Rachel

You have excellent taste in women, MD. Why am I not surprised? I loved your eclectic choices. So glad to see you didn't pick any bimbos (like Pamela Anderson.)

Louise

BossLady in the house! Alright!

MIM

Dude. You're awesome, but WTF? Sigh. Okay, okay. I'm writing it, I'm writing it. Sigh. Fuck. Did I say WTF yet?

On a happier note, good to hear from the BossLady!

MetroDad

To my adorable BossLady,

Without a doubt, you are my favorite person in all the land. And since you comment so infrequently, I thought I should clarify a few things so that my readers might have a better understanding of you...

1. You cannot fart on command because you do not fart. Seriously, when was the last time you cut one? Ok...when was the last time you ripped one that actually made noise?

2. Can't run a 10-minute mile? (ahem) We've been married 4 years. Never seen you run. You get tired driving a mile in the car! How you keep your girlish figure is beyond me!

3. Cook everyday? Doesn't that imply that you cook on some days? Just wondering.

4. Must I hear about Colin Firth one more time? Isn't enough that I watch the 10-hour BBC version of "Pride & Prejudice" with you twice a year? THAT'S love, baby!

5. FYI...the BossLady is not only Marty's biggest fan (she actually called in and voted for him) but she also knows all the lyrics to Marty's song "Trees."

You rock, baby! Hey, I got a question for you. What's got two thumbs and loves blow jobs?

THIS guy!

Love,
Your adoring husband

p.s. I know. It's my turn to get her tomorrow morning. I'll be in bed soon. I'm just going to read for a little bit.

Leora

OMG...you guys are too funny. I think I'm developing a crush on both of you. Can I come live with you? With my hubbie and kids? Maybe we can make it a reality show and pitch it to one of the networks. Puh-lease!

Jackie

Umm, Dutch? Are you sure that was the New Yorker? Are you sure it was Tilda Swinton? And are you sure you want to be admitting that on the internets?

crazyvirgo

yeah!!!! that was the ex-cheerleader in me excited to be part of this elite blogging crowd. answers on the way ASAP. just catching up on episodes of nip/tuck.
nice to meet you BossLady.

margalit

Hey, bosslady, great to meet you at last. But I'm confused. What DOES have two thumbs and loves a blow job? I just can't imagine what the answer can be. :-)

crazyvirgo

7 Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1. Visit Africa
2. ring the Wall Street bell
3. Write for "Saturday Night Live"
4. Take my gentleman lover on an all expense paid trip to every baseball opening day possible
5. live in europe
6. live in the same city at the same time as my two girls Elizabeth and Jennifer

7 Things I Cannot Do
1. Burp
2. Whistle
3. Water ski
4. understand tennis
5. Finish one complete book before i start another
6. read the Sunday Times cover to cover
7. cook/iron/wash clothes (that's cheating, i know..but it covers anything domestic)

7 Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
1. humor
2. intelligence
3. resembles a british man (sans bad teeth)
4. individuality
5. music knowledge
6. film knowledge
7. feminist without being feminine

7 Things I say most often
1. fuck
2. oops
3. hi muffin top/cheesecake/puddin/love biscuit/carmel apple/cake topper
4. she knows! (yes, that me talking about myself in the third person)
5. seriously?
6. i'll be on my laptop
7. Urggghh, you have too many shoes!

7 Celebrity Crushes
1. Chris Martin (say what you will, but i luv him; that voice; those epileptic piano seizures)
2. ethan hawke (um, i pretend i'm delpy on before sunrise/sunset)
3. johnny depp (he could be covered in poo and would be hottness)
4. beckham (with buzzed hair)
5. colin firth (i'm with you bosslady, he heats me)
6. jake gyllenhall (it's the boyish charm)
7. gwyneth

and another 7 back for you MetroDad
7 favorite foods to eat on the couch?

mine?
1. thincrust pizza
2. tater tots (with ranch)
3. soy delicious ice cream
4. pita chips and hummus
5. pad thai
6. jif chunky peanut butter (with a spoon)
7. chili

Rbrown

Crazy V, Ridic! I didn't even see yours until now! And MD, don't be bitchin' about the 10 hour Pride and Prejudice - that's good shit!

7 things before I die:
1. Live in London again.
2. Travel to Ireland with my mom and brothers
3. Go to the Final Four and/or score a ticket to the last Kentucky home game of any regular season
4. Write something funny that the whole world rushes to read. That’s not a blog. And not an ad.
5. Own a house with either a big front porch, a screened in porch or both.
6. Travel to (in no particular order) Spain, Australia, New Zealand, Scotland, Prague, Africa, Croatia, Greece. Alright, I’ll go anywhere.
7. Fall completely, madly, hopelessly, ridiculously, look-like-a big-fucking-idiot in love.

7 Things I Cannot Do:
1. Give up salsa or any spicy food.
2. Cartwheels. Round-offs. Back-handsprings. And God knows I tried.
3. Crossword puzzles (no patience)
4. Snow ski.
5. Draw.
6. Math. Of any kind.
7. The Electric Slide. (I know, but after the 634,311 weddings I’ve been to, I feel like a jackass asking someone to slow it down for a tutorial)

7 Things I say most often:
1. Hello my little: lamb, nugget, petal, love muffin, biscuit, flower, ray of sunshine
2. Whore. (it can be an insult AND a term of endearment in my world)
3. Fuck. (I know, so unladylike. But I can’t stop)
4. Let’s grab a coffee/a drink
5. Are they hiring?
6. Call me after 9 or this weekend, I’m almost out of minutes.
7. That's ridic. (or ri-fucking-diculous,)

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex
1. Quick witted funny types.
2. Intelligence.
3. Creative dudes. Somehow. Someway. Bracelets out of grass blades. I don’t care.
4. A sexy voice and/or eyes that can switch from sweet to “I’m about to tell you a dirty joke”
5. An easy smiler/genuine gut laugher
6. Tall.
7. Wants to meet/appreciates my friends. Cause they’re hi-fucking-larious.

7 celebrity crushes (is that all I get??)
1. Colin Firth (Mouth. Is. Watering.)
2. George Clooney (that smile just screams “oh yeah, we’re SO gonna do it”)
3. Cillian Murphy (loved that f-ed up hair in 28 days Later)
4. Gwyneth/Kate Winslet/Tina Fey/ (my non-sexual girl crushes)
5. Matthew Fox. (With the 5 o’clock shadow.)
6. The Owen Brothers.
7. Chris Martin. (Make fun of me all you want, but those soulful words just slay me.)


Tribal Elder

On the I Can't list

Ballroom dancing can be wonderful, and simple. But you've got to find a good instructor and give it time. In any ballroom class, 50% of the students -- usually him -- are there under duress. Fear of dancing probably ranks up there with fear of public speaking. My late bride (of 29+ years) and I enjoyed it AFTER I'd given it enough time. It's also good low impact exercise and if your dancing partner is your life partner will improve your intimate life together.

MetroDad

Virgo & BaconGrease,

You two bitches are fucking funny and did not disappoint! I loved reading your choices. Too funny.

I've never understood the enormous appeal of Colin Firth. I'm not going to start now.

Thanks for playing.

James

Weird. I think the 7 things that you want to do before you die are EXACTLY the same 7 that I would select. Trippy.

Anne Glamore

I think Bosslady has EXCELLENT taste for listing both Billie Joe Armstrong & Mr Darcy.

Anne

bitemycookie

why are these fucked up meme things so FUN? urgh. i spared your robust readership listing my sevens in your comments and posted on my blog instead, but i, too, now have a crush on your bosslady. i'm not feelin the universal firth love, tho. i'm more of a zach braff kinda girl, but i forgot to put him on my list. who to kick off?

Pope Benedict XVI

These are some good questions--and definitely worth answering (especially so my biographers can know more about me). I'll post my answers shortly. Thanks, Metro!

Rbrown

BossLady - I've had the BBC Pride and Prejudice from Netflix now for 3 weeks and can't bring myself to return it. Something's wrong with me.
MD-The appeal of Colin Firth is wrapped up somewhere in the characters of William/Mark Darcy. The poor guy could be a complete asshole but he'll never shake the whole Darcy thing. Mouth. Still. Watering.
Cookie - I loves me some Zach Braff too. But only 7 choices....I'm with ya - who can you kick off??

Mellie

Dude...you might be the only person weird enough to have a crush on Jhumpa Lahiri AND Sarah Silverman. I love it. But I'm surprised you can't tie a bow tie or ballroom dance. My image of you as James Bond is ruined!

Jason

Done and posted on my site, because I am a hits-whore.

Queen of Ass

Done! Thanks for the inspiration for a Friday post!

lesbonstemps

Sounds like you and the BossLady are a good match. Did you see Technolust? Tilda Swinton at her freakiest.

CityMama

You are impossible to refuse. I did my "7" here: http://citymama.typepad.com/citymama/2005/10/metrodadbecause.html

And I so have a chick crush on Jhumpa Lahiri. I love her writing. I admit I bought her first book because of her picture on the back cover. I remember thinking, "Wow. She's pretty."

Chris

Pretty darn fine meme. I might have to do it. And if you land the Pope, I'll be really impressed.

dutch

mine is done now too.

http://sweetjuniper.blogspot.com/2005/10/meme-ends-here.html

Heidi

Oh Bosslady and MetroDad, your love is an inspirtation to us singles! Much like bitemycookies and mims. My 7 are on my page...it's my first meme! Thank you for creating one that did not require 100 items...who the hell ever does that without repeating?

Stacy

Tater tots with ranch... seriously, I thought I was the only one who did that. And have you tried Parmesan Peppercorn? Mmmmm...

Napoleon Dynamite

Are you going to have those tater tots?

Pattie

This was a great post. I added my own List of Sevens to my blog. BTW, BossLady has awesome taste in her celebrity crushes. And in real life, too. :)

jen

Metrodad, you have great taste. Your celebrity crushes are great. Or maybe you just understand female bloggers profiles. anyway, good for you! you like interesting women.

Isabelle

I think YOU are my celebrity crush, MD. That list was awesome!

Renee

Wow! If I didn't love you before, I certainly do now after reading your celebrity crushes. Those are the coolest female crushes I've ever heard a guy talk about. Not a single bimbo among them. You are truly a gentleman of taste!

Kim

Awesome list, my friend. And I second you on Billy Crudup. He and Ethan Hawke must be two of the stupidest men on the entire planet. They should form a club.

panthergirl

I did it, and posted it on my site. I purposely didn't read yours first. Then I came back here and laughed hysterically at the ballroom dancing thing...you'll see why when you read mine.

panthergirl

OH MY GOD... I just read the BossLady's. She said "sing to my grandchildren" and SO DID I.

All to often skiers are pushed beyond their limits and end up losing confidence

acne

How do you make a blog site look this sick!? E-mail me if you want and share your wisdom. .

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