MetroDad

Cold Fucking Turkey!

For the past few months, I've promised myself that I was going to quit smoking cigarettes.  But seeing as how I was going to be spending 8 days in France (the unofficial home of smokers worldwide), I thought it would be best to hold off on quitting until I got back home to NYC. 

Well, I'm home now and today is officially my 2nd day as a non-smoker.  No patch.  No gum.  No medication.  Just cold fucking turkey, man! 

Now, personally, the main problem with my quitting cigarettes is that I don't really want to quit.  I LOVE smoking cigarettes.  They relax the hell out of me and they go great with coffee and scotch.  Besides, I happen to look very cool smoking.  (I know.  Totally superficial.  But I'm only half kidding.  If you ever saw me smoke, you'd want to start smoking too.  I'm really good at it.) 

Even more unfortunately, I've got a freakishly abnormal cardiovascular system so smoking has never really affected my wind.  Sometimes, I'd sit in a cafe, smoke half a pack, go to the gym, play ball for a few hours, and then come out and smoke the other half pack.  Back in the day, I sometimes even carried cigarettes with me when I went out for a 5-mile run.

Now before anyone gets all holier-than-thou on me, let me just interject here and state that I've never smoked a cigarette anywhere near my little daughter.  Not even outside.  Not anyplace where she could even see me smoking.  For me, there's nothing more despicable than seeing a mother pushing a stroller with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth.  Absolutely disgusting and completely immoral. 

But it's ironic because I'm quitting smoking basically for two reasons and both involve my daughter.  The first reason is because I love spending time with her and I want to ensure that I live as long as possible so that we can continue to hang out together for many years.  Even though I still think I'm immortal, I figure it's best to play the safe odds.   

The second reason I'm quitting is because I need to get life insurance.  Now, as any man can attest, there's nothing quite like getting life insurance to make you feel as if your youth is behind you.  Sure, marriage, joint checking accounts, sore knees, a VP promotion, fatherhood and 529 planning all make a guy feel older.  But getting life insurance?  That's like getting bitch slapped by middle age.  It's more than a little disarming.  But duty and responsibility dictate that I plan for any worst-case scenario to ensure that the Peanut is not fiscally affected by my death.  It comes part and parcel with my job as the Peanut's protector. 

So back to my smoking.  It's Day 2, how am I doing?  Really, it's hard to tell.  I'm too busy shoving food in my mouth.  Seriously.  My appetite has multiplied exponentially.  It's like I've got a parasite inside me (and I think his name is Phillip Morris.)  When I'm not hungry, I go through periods where I want to take someone's head off.  Or bang my head against a wall. 

Someone suggested I try carrots but I can't figure out how to light the damn fuckers.  Oh well.  Anyone else got any other words of advice, encouragement or abuse?   

 

Home is where the Peanut is

Firstly, thanks to all of you for your concerned e-mails.  It's so amazingly cool to know that if I don't write anything for a while, there are people who are actually concerned for my well-being.  It means a lot to me.  You people rock.

Anyway, speaking of rocking, the reason that I haven't posted in awhile is because the BossLady and I have been in the south of France for a week, attending the rock-star wedding of two of our closest friends.  It was an absolutely amazing trip.  Our days were spent walking along the beaches of the Riviera, wandering from port to port, basking in the Mediterranean sun, and eating luxurious 3-hour lunches all along the coastline.  At night, we ate long dinners with friends, gambled in Monte Carlo or stayed up late into the night drinking wine. 

We stayed at a beautiful hotel in St. Jean Cap-Ferrat, possibly the most beautiful port on the entire French Riviera.  And the wedding was one of the most incredible celebrations I've ever attended.  The ceremony and the reception party were held at Villa Ephrussi, the private Riviera estate and gardens of the Rothschild family.  Guests for the wedding flew in from all over the world.  It was seriously like a U.N convention.  I think the guests who came the farthest were either from Singapore or Saudi Arabia.  But most of the guests were either from California, Europe or Hong Kong.  It was really an incredible collection of interesting people from around the world and I enjoyed not only seeing many old friends again but also making many new ones along the way.   

But as great as the trip was, I really missed my daughter.  We left her at home in the care of the nanny, my brother and my parents.  She had a great time and was spoiled rotten by all her caretakers.  Although I was a nervous wreck the first few days being away from her, I knew that she was in good hands and was having the time of her life.  She's such an easy-going girl and has always been so independent and charming.  That made leaving her at home a little easier. 

I don't regret not bringing the Peanut on this vacation.  BossLady and I needed the break.  I've been running at a pretty high stress level at work for the past few months and I needed some time to decompress and maybe start thinking about a new career.  Also, the traveling wasn't easy due to all the stopovers, time changes and multiple modes of transport.  It would have messed with the Peanut's routine too much.  But most importantly, I'm glad we didn't bring the Peanut so BossLady and I could have some much-needed time alone together sans enfant! 

But man, I missed the Peanut.  And despite the overall success of this vacation, I don't think I'll ever leave my little girl at home again.  It was just too hard being away from her.  There were times when I missed her with every fiber of my being.  In the future, I want to incorporate her into my travels and expose her to the world out there.  So from now on, no matter how tough it's going to be, I'm bringing her with me.

Because, for me, home really is where the Peanut is. 

The Peanut's Dol (Lessons in Multi-Culturalism)

For those of you who read the parenting blogs of my Korean Seoul Sisters (City Mama, Keepin It Real and honorary member by marriage Weigook Saram), you may already know that it's a very important Korean custom to honor a child's first birthday by having a celebration. This celebration is called a Dol.

In the past, due to a lack of medical information, the general state of poverty, and many childhood related diseases, the death rate for children in Korea was extremely high. Many children died before their first birthday. However, after the age of one year, the survival rate steeply increased, making this milestone a very happy one for the child's parents.

In modern times, due to the improvements in medicine, the influence of Western culture, and modern industrialization, the life expectancy reasons for the Tol celebration have been reduced. However, the event is still celebrated as a time of congratulations for the parents and family.

Anyway, this past Saturday, we had the Peanut's Dol. It was quite an affair. We took over an enormous private room in a Korean restaurant and had about 75 of our closest friends and family join us in celebrating my daughter's first birthday. There was an enormous buffet filled with Korean food, traditional desserts and a clown. What more could you want?

The highlight of the party was definitely the toljabee. This is a traditional event at any Dol that supposedly determines the future of the child based on the symbolic nature of what object she grabs from the choices laid out in front of her. In front of the Peanut, we laid out a bowl of rice (representing prosperity), money (wealth), some thread (longevity), a notebook (a scholarly life) and a pencil (an artistic/creative life). Dressed in a traditional Korean hanbok, the Peanut looked at the choices in front of her and went immediately for the bowl of the rice. When we mixed up the order of the choices, she went for the pencil. So hopefully this means that my lovely daughter is destined for a prosperous career as an artist.

But it was great celebrating such an important milestone with so many close friends and family. Seeing all the kids run around together made it even more special. The Peanut was in great form. And although she didn't get a nap in all day, she seemed to have a lot of fun running around the room and being kissed by so many people. And despite being pulled in so many different directions, I had a lot of fun too. In that room. With the lovely BossLady by my side. Surrounded by friends and family. And watching my daughter celebrate her first birthday. I couldn't have been happier. Truly a great time.

And holy shit! My daughter is almost one!