"How's it going? Is that some sort of rhetorical question? What are you? Some kind of joker? Fuck you! THAT'S how it's going. Oh. You're being serious. Ummm...not too bad. Could be worse. Hey, hand me those potato chips, will you? THOSE potato chips! Damn, bitch, are you blind? Oh, sorry. No, it's just nerves. What were you saying? Something about smoking? No, really, it's going great. Couldn't be better. Cold turkey? Hell no! Where'd you hear that? My blog? Fuck that! No, I'm using the patch now. Yeah, it works great. Can't you tell? Hey, you going to eat the rest of that burger? No? Well, pass that over here, bitch! How about those fries? You just going to stare at them or you going to eat those too? What was I saying? Oh yeah. The smoking thing. Well, to tell you the truth, I thought I'd feel healthier. No, no, I'm still glad I quit. Definitely glad I quit. Hey, you want to go get some ice cream? No? Well, fuck you then. Edgy? Me? I don't think so. But thanks for asking, asshole!"