I'm going to take a brief hiatus from writing about parenthood to discuss my absolute love of E-Bay. Because, truth be told, there are very few things I love as much as E-Bay. Here are some brief thoughts on my love for E-Bay...
(1) The absolute weirdness and individuality of it all is just awesome. Truly, more than anything, E-Bay really proves Locke's Theory of Individuality. No matter how weird you think you are, there's always someone out there weirder than you. After all, one man's toe nail clippings are another man's fortune.
(2) I've never been judgmental about the items sold on E-Bay. As long as it's legal, who are we to interfere in commercial transactions between two consenting adults? You want to auction off the name of your baby? Tattoo your forehead? Sell your virginity? Go right ahead, my friends. This is America. Who am I to cast judgment? After all, I live in a city that was bought for $24 in glass beads.
(3) The Virgin Mary on a Grilled Cheese Sandwich! This cracked me up. I thought it was so funny that I actually bid on it. I could not believe my eyes when it ended up going for over $28,000. Other classic E-Bay auctions? Ghost in a jar, Air guitar, Brett Favre's house and an Ex-wife's wedding dress (shown being worn by the jilted husband).
(4) My early fascination with E-Bay led me to become a shareholder in the company. Unfortunately, my investment wasn't large enough for me to retire early, sit on a beach, drink martinis and discuss sports all day with my foodtaster. Nor was it enough for me to pay for the Peanut's college tuition...unless she wants to go to a state school in Guam.
Anyway, I started thinking about my love for E-bay tonight because the BossLady has been selling quite a few items there lately. Every since the Peanut was born, we've been avid E-Bay users. We buy virtually everything for the Peanut off E-bay...toys, books, clothes, everything! For any parents-to-be out there, I highly recommend it.
But tonight, I wasn't searching E-Bay for anything specific. I was just browsing randomly around the site and happened to find a few items that only reaffirmed my love for E-Bay, such as...
The original statue from the movie "Rocky". (How great would it be to place this in your backyard, run laps around it every morning and then swallow a dozen raw eggs?)
A Vampire Killing Kit. (As some of you may know, there are a lot of vampires in New York. You can never be too well-prepared)
Your very own Redneck family. (Growing up in New York, I've always had an anthropological fascination with Rednecks. What's with the fucked-up teeth? Why the banjo? Does possum taste good?)
Santa Claus' Beard Hairs. (Dude, it's Santa!)
And according to this article, starting on Friday, E-Bay will be having an auction to buy a summer romance with Jennifer Aniston. Having never really liked "Friends," I couldn't really care less. But I am interested in buying that Rocky statue. I can't stop thinking about it. It would look great in my apartment. And talk about a conversation starter! Anyone want to lend me a million bucks?
Wait... did you say toenail clippings? Send me the URL.
Digging the new logo...
Posted by: BIYF | July 28, 2005 at 09:11 PM
Love the new logo!
I can't stay long, though. I have some important auctions I'm lurking on until the last minute. Because I really need a bobblehead devil doll.
Posted by: landismom | July 28, 2005 at 09:42 PM
Possum doesn't taste nearly as good as 'coon, Sugar.
Posted by: Queen of Ass | July 28, 2005 at 09:59 PM
You don't need to bid on the redneck family. I have some relatives you could stay with for free. I haven't blogged about them yet in case they've figured out the internet, but that's probably overcautious on my part.
Anne www.tinykingdom.typepad.com
ps I howled over the man in his ex's wedding dress!!!
Posted by: Anne Glamore | July 28, 2005 at 10:37 PM
Oh man! That Rocky statue is awesome. I might have to outbid you on it. Kidding!
Posted by: Brent | July 29, 2005 at 08:43 AM
Ebay is so much fun. I sell books on half.com, the offshoot of ebay, but I remember sitting glued to the computer, refreshing every couple of seconds to make sure nobody outbid me. Of course, now there's an auction sniper program that'll do that for me.
Posted by: enygma | July 29, 2005 at 10:39 AM
www.disturbingauctions.com. Knock yourselves out. Oh, and dibs on the Dean Martin hand puppet.
Posted by: Jason | July 29, 2005 at 11:25 AM
metrodad, I am so with you on this. I paid my way through law school by selling junk on eBay. I have bought nearly everything for our baby on there. Why pay $60 for that annoyingly overpriced boutique baby dress that your wife loves so much when you can type the brand name into eBay and buy-it-now for $9.99? You're a hero either way.
I love eBay so much I made this onesie for my daughter MONTHS before she was even born:
http://sweetjuniper.blogspot.com/2005/06/ebaby.html
Posted by: Dutch | July 29, 2005 at 03:07 PM
I often joke with my kids to be on the lookout for anything in or around our house that could be construed as looking like the Virgin Mary. Seriously--I need a very special grilled cheese sandwich to sell right about now.....
Posted by: dollymama | July 31, 2005 at 11:37 PM
there's this blog bayraider.tv that features the quirky side of ebay :)..
Posted by: guile | August 25, 2005 at 09:45 PM
I did not hear any summaries on Wed neither Thur the show of raquel welch wig
If someone has time, please post them in english for me.
I as yet do not understand all Spanish namely colloquial, but I study small.
Thanks Progression!
alexandria egypt
Posted by: Aburomobcoece | October 12, 2007 at 05:34 PM
Outstanding story there. What happened after? Good luck!
Posted by: Sabrina | February 22, 2013 at 08:06 AM