I think regular readers of this blog know how completely infatuated I am with my 8-month old daughter. She's truly the apple of my eye and I organize my life to spend as much time with her as possible. Honestly, I don't know of very many fathers who spend as much time with their child as I do. I'm sure part of this is motivated by the fact that my parents never spent much time with me as a child so I'm overcompensating to make up for it. But also, the truth is that I love spending time with the Peanut. I love reading to her. I love taking her on long walks every day. I love sitting on the floor and playing with her constantly.
So is it wrong for me to say that, every Monday, there's a small part of me that is glad the weekend is over? Because I've got to tell you that being with the Peanut all weekend can be absolutely exhausting. There's still a part of me that likes to stay up late on Friday and Saturday nights. Unfortunately, there's no more sleeping in until noon. Nope, the Peanut is like a human alarm clock. At 6:00 am every morning, she starts crowing like a rooster for someone to come get her out of the crib. I can't really complain because, on the flip side, she's a great sleeper. Ever since she was 3 months old, she's always been able to sleep 12 hours throughout the night. (For this, I thank one of my readers who early on suggested this book. Seriously, if you're having sleep issues with your child, give it a quick read. It's a very dry read but there are some great points in it that you might be able to incorporate into your life.)
Where was I? Oh yeah...the weekend. Is it just us? Or do other parents feel this way too? I just think it's funny how, in a past life, weekends used to be about relaxing and catching up on sleep. Now, it's all about activities, juggling naptimes and leaving the house with enough formula so you don't get stranded with a hungry baby. It's sometimes physically and mentally exhausting. Let's run down our weekend for you real quick. Friday night, MetroBro babysat the Peanut so BossLady and I could go see "Cinderella Man." Needless to say, the 9:00 pm showing didn't start until 9:30 so we didn't get home until midnight. Once home, I checked Sportscenter to see whether my Mets had won and then read a few chapters from Kazuo Ishiguro's new book. Fell asleep around 1:30. Then, sure enough, at 6:00 am, the Peanut let us know she was awake. Since it was BossLady's turn to get her, I was able to sleep until 7:00. Then, the three of us went out for a walk with the dog. For the rest of the day, we took the Peanut to the park, got stuck in the pouring rain, went to test drive a few cars, rented a car, went to visit the grandparents for a few hours, went out to dinner and then came home after a long day. I think I ended up crashing out around 10:00. Sunday, up again at 6:00, out the door by 7:30, had a family breakfast outdoors in Battery Park, walked the dog, took a short nap, headed out in 95 degree weather to the Big Apple BBQ Fest, stuffed our faces, went to BuyBuyBaby, walked a few miles over to the Hudson River Park, took Peanut to the kiddie water park in the West Village and then walked home another few miles in the baking sun. Gave the Peanut a long bath, fed her and put her to bed. Had dinner with the BossLady and fell asleep absolutely exhausted by midnight.
Maybe it's partly due to the heat in NY right now but the weekend was pretty tiring. But to tell you the truth, I'm pretty sure all our weekends are like this. I feel a little guilty about waking up on Monday morning and looking forward to going back to work. Man, life has changed!
Anyone else feel this way? Or am I no longer a contender for Father of the Year?
Every weekend we just explode into activity. There is a baby to feed, change, play with, and to battle naps with. There's a house that hasn't been touched all week to clean up, cats to take care of, and mountains of laundry to do. Friends to see, places to go, and all days begin between 6 and 7am. Luckily our master bedroom is in the basement, so if one of us gets up with the boy the other gets to sleep.
But yes, on the exhaustion, and yes on the relief when it's just crabby work people I have to deal with. They take much less intensity than my sweet baby boy.
And yet I dream about being able to be a home with him.
Go figure.
Posted by: Krissy | June 13, 2005 at 10:41 AM
You're not alone, MD. As much as I love my kids, I often can't wait to get back to work also. Comes with the territory. Weekends are tough!
Posted by: Brent | June 13, 2005 at 11:08 AM
I think your schedule is pretty typical of many families' schedules. It can be very physically and mentally exhausting, and even more so when you're feeling sleep-deprived (which was our case because our DD never seemed to go to sleep). Then, when we had Baby #2, things became even more intense and frenetic, and the train of activity hasn't stopped since then! When I go in to work, even though it can be pretty crazy there too, it does provide a respite to help me to mentally regroup.
Posted by: betty | June 13, 2005 at 01:12 PM
I also try to squeeze in every little activity with my kid into a short weekend. Often times by Monday morning I am a walking zombie at the office. My major complaint as of late would be that there is never enough time. How does one have quality kid time, time for themselves, or time to maintain a clean home in just two days? It’s not possible! I’m worn out at only 27! I wouldn’t go back to my childless days for all the time in the world. Sure I had fun, slept in till noon before going out to the pool and then out with friends till all hours of the night. But this parent stuff is so much more fun! Never once did I wake up smiling like I do now, even if I am awake now at 7am. Life is grand! If only I had more time…
Posted by: Jennifer | June 13, 2005 at 02:24 PM
I think it's universal. HOWEVER, at this point (Munchkin's 6) I can tell you life gets back to the way you like it. Sure, you've got someone else to consider and may only be able to sleep until 9 instead of noon, but it's better.
Posted by: Queen of Ass | June 13, 2005 at 02:30 PM
Enough about the kids. How was the barbecue? Was looking at that site and it looked awesome.
Posted by: Martin | June 13, 2005 at 02:52 PM
Are you kidding? Don't beat yourself up now...you're going to be saying TGIM for years. ;)
Seriously, I was relieved to go back to work after my son was born (although I did have mixed feelings, because he was SO young) and I think it saved me. I think (flame-suit firmly in place) that working parents have a healthier relationship with thier kids because being with ANYONE 100% of the time is exhausting. I felt like I appreciated them more when I got home, and the reverse was true too. (btw...I was home with my daughter until she was almost 2, so I've done it both ways).
Enjoy your time with her, and enjoy your time away from her. It's all good. ;)
Posted by: panthergirl | June 13, 2005 at 05:28 PM
Well, all I have to say is, at work, even the crazy people are highly functioning enough to employ a kind of logic. I haven't found that to be the case with my children.
Seriously, though, this weekend, I told my dh I couldn't wait for the weekend to be over, because I was so tired of hearing my name (aka "MOMMMY") screamed over and over again, when it wasn't being whined over and over again. You are not alone.
Posted by: landismom | June 13, 2005 at 08:47 PM
Nope. You are NOT the only one. Being a working parent means you really treasure the time you have with your child, but it also means that you aren't used to having that kind of "psychic demand" on your time. Does that make sense? I tutored a young girl for a while and I'd be more tired after spending two hours with her than eight hours at the office.
And nobody at work has ever asked me to draw Dorothy and Glinda the Good Witch, then cried because I used the wrong color on Glinda's dress.
Posted by: Stacy | June 14, 2005 at 09:56 AM
You are normal, normal, normal. We love 'em beyond anything, but need breaks from 'em. And "office work" is, as far as I can tell, a cake walk compared to the unpredictable, energy-demanding needs of a baby/toddler/child.
Eve
Posted by: Eve | June 14, 2005 at 11:30 AM
You are NOT alone! There are many Monday mornings when I'm glad to get to the office. Childcare is exhausting! I love parenting and wouldn't trade it for the world, but it is exhausting.
Posted by: Phillip | June 14, 2005 at 12:47 PM
Because I am a sixteen-month veteran of the whole fatherhood thing, I feel completely qualified to make a blanket statement regarding this topic (ah, sarcasm!).
IMHO, the key to being a good parent is maintaining a balance between your role as a Dad, a Husband, a Professional, and Your Own Person. These are the tires on the car; if any one falls off, the car doesn't work.
Posted by: Jason | June 14, 2005 at 01:31 PM
thanks for posting on my guestmap I am happy to link you on my site if you will do the same.
I cant wait till my peanut is born so I can take him/her for walks
mark
Posted by: mark | June 14, 2005 at 05:26 PM
I'd say that's fairly normal. btw, how is Ishiguro's new novel?
Posted by: enygma | June 14, 2005 at 11:01 PM
Our daughter just turned 6 and she is finally able to get those toons on herself to allow some sleep in time for her parents. God Bless her. So, five more years of 6am and you're good to go!
Posted by: Christine | June 19, 2005 at 01:58 PM