Sadly, news has broken of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston's impending demise. It seems the stresses and excesses of their glamarous lifestlyles were taking a toll on the relationship. There's rampant speculation that Brad wanted children, whereas Jennifer was less inclined (once again, things that probably should have been discussed BEFORE the wedding.)
Anyway...aside from the fact that the new celebrity "it" couple is Flavor Flav and Brigitte Nielsen, I'm happy to declare that BossLady and I are still married. This is no small feat because we have just survived the first three months of parenthood. Internet, why didn't you warn us?
Yes...we knew it was going to be difficult. We knew the lack of sleep, the stress, the incessant crying, and the fear of the unknown would all combine to put a strain on our relationship. We even went out and bought a few books that would supposedly help us during the so-called "Fourth Trimester." Books with titles like "When Partners Become Parents" and "Transition to Parenthood: How a First Child Changes a Marriage." And these were great books. But like petting a shark, you can't really understand the experience just by reading about it.
The BossLady and I are not one of those couples who have never fought a day in their lives. Nope, not us. A lot of the time, the fuel that lights our fire is FIRE! In other words, though our bonds are strong, we've hardly had the kind of relationship that one would call tranquil. But when push comes to shove, we know that we're always there for each other and that we're each other's best friend.
That being said...having a newborn baby was more than a push or a shove. It was more like a push down a staircase or a shove into oncoming traffic. Man, it was tough. Our nerves were shot. Our patience was wearing thin. And the sleep deprivation was like a NASA experiment in anger management. There were days when we didn't think we were going to make it. There were days when we wouldn't even speak to one another! Hell, I'll be honest. There were days when I wanted to run off and disappear to Tahiti! But all the books told us that things would change after 12 weeks. That a corner would be turned and that we'd be able to gain some semblance of normalcy. Ha! Normalcy! Ha! Books!
Well, it turns out that the fucking books were right. Life is grand again. And it's even more glorious now that we're better able to enjoy the fruits of parenthood. I guess Rousseau was right. That which did not kill us only made us stronger. And now, after 12 long weeks, we have our lives back and life truly is better than ever. We're better as a couple and we're better parents for having lived through the experience. Turns out Peanut was able to teach US a lesson.
So as a new parent with the imbued wisdom of 12 weeks of experience, I can only offer the advice to the other expectant mothers and fathers out there that I wish we had received in the first days of the Peanut's birth . Don't worry. Things will eventually change. Don't have your wife committed to an insane asylum. Don't get a restraining order against your husband. Stop calling 1-800-Divorce. Don't fight in front of the baby. Remember to be nice to each other. Be sure to try and give each other some space and be extra understanding of one another. Just give it some more time. Rememer that things ain't exactly easy for your spouse either. And above all else, practice patience. Because patience is the first thing that goes and, ironically, it's the thing that you need the most during this time. I wish someone had given us that lesson 12 weeks ago. As a new Dad, that's my advice to you.
Now...if any of you out there have advice on how to make it as a couple through the NEXT 18 YEARS, don't be stingy! Pass that info on!