"Dogs love me cause I'm crazy sniffable"
When I woke up this morning, I noticed that MetroDad was in 2nd Place for Best Daddy Blog over at the Best of Blog Awards. 2nd Place? What the fuck? Are you kidding me?
Yes, my friends, MetroDad has a fierce competitive spirit. I hate to admit it but it's true. Though I'm a sensitive, caring father of the new millenium, the old Alpha-Dog still lives inside me like a weekend warrior. To me, 2nd Place is better known as "1st Loser." And not to disparage the competition but I really can't fathom how I'm losing (unless some of my votes have hanging chads). I know the competition's blog design looks better than mine but what about the content? The only thing that comes to mind is something my man Mike D from the Beastie Boys once said,
"You've got the boomin' system but it's blastin' out doo doo
You think it's chocolate milk but it's watered down Yoohoo"
"I get it - I got it, I know it's good
The rhymes I write - you wish you would."
More than 2,000 visitors came here yesterday. I should have asked all of you to vote while you were over but I thought it might be rude because, for many of you, it was the first time we'd met. But did I mention how good-looking I thought you were? Seriously. And your ass looked great in those jeans. Oh wait, I'm sorry. It was MY ass that looked great in those jeans. But really, you looked damn good. Clearly, you've been working out and taking care of yourselves. And I love what you've done with your hair!
Alright...it's pretty clear I suck at kissing ass. That's probably why I've never worked as a corporate drone for some big company. For the past 10 years, the only person whose ass I've had to kiss is my boss. Oh shit, I forgot. I am my own boss. Damn, I look good today!
Anyway, the contest ends on Monday, the 17th. So for the next few days, I'm going to be pimping for your votes on a regular basis. After all, the first place winner gets a free re-design of this site (or as many of you have said, it would actually be a "design" because "re-design" implies that there was some sort of design in the first place.)
For those of you who are new to the site, here are some of MetroDad's golden oldies...
So I put my ding-a-ling in her pee-pee hole?
Some posts are just for humor, some are more serious. Because here at MetroDad, we like to play both kinds of music...country AND western. Anyway, feel free to browse around. Then, when you're done, go vote here...
First time commentor here! Just wanted to say that you've got my vote! I think you're a great writer and I love hearing your views on fatherhood. I'm about to go through the same experience myself so I look to you for inspiration. Keep up the great work!
Posted by: Marcus | January 14, 2005 at 01:10 PM
anyone who quotes the Beastie Boys has my vote.
Posted by: JB | January 14, 2005 at 01:59 PM
I just discovered your site from the BOB Awards and have spent the past few hours reading all your posts and laughing hysterically. I love it! This site rocks! You've definitely got my vote. Good luck!
Posted by: Fusun | January 14, 2005 at 02:42 PM
I thought the voting ended today! Oh shit, I better get on it....
ROTFLMMFAO... as if I stood a chance! Good luck!
Posted by: Jim | January 14, 2005 at 02:52 PM
I am votin my ass off! EVERYDAY I tell hubby..Oops, take it out, I gotta go vote for Metro! ;)
Posted by: Jenny | January 14, 2005 at 06:02 PM
Are you teaching your kid all those words? Get a dictionary or a bar of soap, and clean up your act! You can't call yourself a writer if your vocabulary is entirely x-rated. I'm serious; some day you'll thank me.
Posted by: Grandma | January 14, 2005 at 06:35 PM
Sorry, dude, but Laid-Off Dad just has a way bigger body of work. And toddlers are inherently funnier than newborns.
Posted by: Moxie | January 14, 2005 at 06:36 PM
Looks like Grandma has no sense of humor! As for Laid-Off Dad, I think he's pretty funny. But really, his kid's much funnier than he is. Maybe we can give him the award!
Keep up the great blogging. You got my vote!
Posted by: BruceB | January 15, 2005 at 12:09 AM
Moxie's right. Toddlers are way funnier. But your blog is actually about fatherhood. Keep up the great work, MetroDad. You got my vote for best Daddy blog.
Posted by: Nicole | January 15, 2005 at 06:10 PM
I've voted for you, daily. However, I didn't register all of my votes, so if you lose, it might have been me that left those hanging chads. Yours is definitely the most original and funny blog going.
Posted by: steve | January 16, 2005 at 10:37 AM