If someone were to take a 48 hour snapshot of my life, they would have seen what I had to deal with this past weekend...
1. The flu. Not just any flu but a viral descendent of the bubonic plague (ok..I exaggerate). I'm not sure but it feels like someone may have spiked my scotch with anthrax. There's no other way to explain the constant headache, the fever, the nausea, the sore throat, the cough...well, I think you get the point.
2. My mother-in-law staying with us for a week. Now, I love my MIL and she was an enormous help to me and the BossLady. But my MIL and the BossLady have one of those mother-daughter relationships that are foreign to us men. One minute, they can be fighting and screaming at each other. But two seconds later, they're hugging and laughing so hard that they're in tears! How do women do this? I'll never know. I sometimes felt like I was on the hormonal rollercoaster ride of a lifetime.
3. My parents came over for the day. And like most parents, they fulfilled their parental duties...by driving me fucking crazy! I know they mean well. But when it comes to their granddaughter, they have a theory for everything. She's not sleeping because she's hungry. She's not eating because she pooped her diaper. She's not pooping because she ate too long ago. She's too warm. No, wait! Now, she's too cold! How I ever survived them is beyond me!
4. My beautiful 3 1/2 week-old daughter has decided that she will not, can not, and should not sleep during the day. Not one wink. At all. During the day. We've tried everything! But the Peanut is smarter than us. She's learned to play possum. It would be amusing except for the fact that it's exhausting. The only good thing is that she can sleep the night away. Last night, she slept for about 10 straight hours. She'll eat with her eyes closed and then pop off back to sleep. But life would still be easier for us if she slept like a normal baby.
5. The dog. After a brief acclimation period to the Peanut, our dog was seemingly getting better. His appetite had returned. He was no longer jealous of the baby. And he stopped peeing all over the apartment. But this past weekend, he must have known that I wasn't feeling well so he decided to get constipation, forcing me to take him on hour long walks. And if that wasn't enough, he decided to start peeing in the apartment again. Aarrgh!
So here I am in the office at 9:00 am on a Monday morning with an enormous work week ahead of me. But after the past few days, it almost seems like paradise. Am I crazy? 'Cause I never thought I'd ever look forward to a Monday morning! Ever!