High stakes gambling at home!

BossLady and I aren't stubborn people. Nope. Not us. We prefer to use the term "strong-willed." Sounds much better, doesn't it? Anyway, us being two "strong-willed" people, it's not uncommon for us to get into an absurdly ridiculous debate over some trivial matter. Without fail, the debate usually evolves into a triple-dog dare or a high-stakes bet. And since BossLady already owes me over a million dollars from lost bets, we've been forced to come up with alternative stakes.

What kind of stakes you might ask? Well, past losers have had to do the following:

1. Walk around completely naked in the apartment for 24 hours.
2. Lick the other person's foot from top to bottom.
3. Run in front of our apartment building with your arms above your head and repeatedly scream "I'M A LOSER!"
4. Take all the leftover drinks from a cocktail party (wine, vodka, tea, juice, coffee), pour them into a giant pot, stir it all up and drink an entire glass of the ensuing mixture.

(Mature of us, isn't it? Hard to believe that the hospital actually let us leave with our newborn baby. Really, nobody even flinched!)

Anyway, ever since we've had the Peanut, our bets have been modified to the more mundane stakes of such baby-related chores as changing the diaper or doing the 4:00 am feeding.

I bring all this up because the BossLady and I got into another one of our debates the other night during dinner. I'm not even going to tell you what it's about because it's so ridiculously idiotic. But as I said, we're two "strong-willed" people so it was clear that, sooner or later, a bet was going to have to be made. While we were discussing possible stakes, the lovely BossLady suddenly blurted out, "I know! LOSER HAS TO DRINK MY BREAST MILK!" (Do you see why I love this woman?)

Loser has to drink her breast milk!!! Brilliant!!! I was all ready to take the bet. After all, how bad could it be? I drink regular milk...and that's specifically made for baby cows! My little Peanut likes the taste of breast milk better than formula and I'd already tried formula. Not too bad! Besides, the BossLady said she'd read somewhere that breast milk tastes like melted ice cream. Mmmm...ice cream!

We started debating whether the loser could (a) drink directly from the "tap", (b) pour it into a glass, or (c) add a drop of Hershey's syrup. But just as we were about to shake hands on the deal, I saw one of my wife's tells. She twitched her right eyebrow ever so subtly. And instantly, I knew right there and then that this was a sucker's bet. She had the inside scoop and there was no way I was going to win this bet. So I pulled my hand back and decided not to take the bet.

However, I'm sure that these stakes are going to come up again. And it's inevitable that one of us is going to end up with a breast milk moustache while the other one is going to be laughing his/her face off.

What I want to know is...do other couples do this sort of thing also? or are we both really just insane? Also, what kind of cookies go best with breast milk?

Comments

[lex icon]

I can't say that none exist, but I know not a single couple who would ever bet such stakes. Good catch of the tell, though.

[Kristie]

I...have never bet on the breastmilk thing. But I know of a girl who had much fun squirting her husband with it...Seemed strange to me at the time but...maybe not?

[L.A. Daddy]

I'll fess up. Out of sheer curiousity, the missus and I once tried some of her breast milk. It was after the birth of our first child and I think we were goofy from lack of sleep. Big surprise! It kind of tasted like regular milk!

[Jenny]

I betcha almost every nursing mom and corresponding dad has done the taste test. I know we did.

It's sweet, FWIW.

[Terri]

I didn't breastfeed and I'm a little weirded out right now. But if I have a second child, I'm going to breastfeed atleast so I can use this against my husband.

[Mrs. Anonymous]

I'll fess up too! My husband and I tried it together. It took us awhile to get the guts to do it. We sat and stared at the little shot glasses we poured for about an hour. Then we just looked at each other and downed the shots.

It really is sweet!

[Tom]

I couldn't get the wife to breastfeed, so I really never got the chance to try it. I'm interested though. I have tried the regular formula and I can tell you it taste like S*#@.

[bonnie]

Snickerdoodles?

[dagodfather]

i practically fell outta my chair laughing at that one.....chocolate chocolate chip???

[Tracy]

Obvious answer: peanut butter.

[Fe]

We have friends who tried making babychinos... Sadly, breast milk isn't great for this - it doesn't froth at all well!

[Andrea R]

Another couple here who has indeed tasted the breastmilk (quite a few times, he has) and I've squrted him more than once from across the room.
I hear it goes well in coffee. (but like above, not for frothing)

[Kate]

I can say that the hubby sampled my breast milk. Neither one of us had any complaints ; - )

[john l]

am i the only one who found this topic titillating? (pun intended)

personally, I'm partial to Mint Milanos.

[Sheryl]

I was sent here by Jay who loves your blog and thinks you really need a new design. I like your blog too, and would happily help you in that department. (No rainbows with flowers and bunnies, I promise)

[cheryl b.]

It's really good and sweet, like candy-milk. My husband really liked it and tried to drink it all the time, I always had to tell him to stop it so he wouldn't drink it all. I was able to drink it strait from my boobies, TMI? Ya, I thought so.

[Breast Milk Mom]

I've never tried it in over a decade of almost non-stop nursing, but my husband LOVES breastmilk straight from the tap. He'd drink for hours if I'd let him.....

[DaveK]

I would think the kind of cookies that go best with breast milk would be obvious. ...Why, "Oreolas" of course!

...and, just so there's a scapegoat for this comment... Jay sent me. :)

[Richard Soderberg]

After being asked to catalogue several thousand "topical" fiction stories, covering a diversity of topics (including lactation), I've always figured that there's a lot of people out there that know (or want to know) what it tastes like.

In light of such comments above as "I always had to tell him to stop it so he wouldn't drink it all" and "He'd drink for hours if I'd let him", I should incidentally point out that most of the lactation stories I catalogued also addressed using lactation as a "mind control" technique.

[Karen]

1. Our standard unit of betting currency is a 2-minute foot rub, which must be given as follows: 30 seconds on first foot, 30 seconds on second foot, 30 seconds on first foot again, 30 seconds on second foot again. When one of us wants to bet about something, we just say, "30-30-30-30?"
2. Breast milk is warm and sweet.

[Kin]

Mmm...breastmilk...straight from the tap. Go for it dude...you won't regret it. Warm, sweet, healthy. Just don't let the little nipper get to jealous.

[Fern]

My boyfriend and I are terrible for making these kinds of bets, so no it isn't just you, last week we started off an quite innocent one that his blog (currently with a google rank of 0) could out rank mine (with one of 2) within six months. It started off simply, ten bucks, became 100, became a new telly. I can imagine us having exactly this kind of bet, although when we've spoken about it previously he's been more than willing to try my milk when the time comes, should I be worried?

[Purtu Porti webdesign]

Good job, thanks

[WILLARD]

breast milk is really tasty in drinking. i always try it directly from thr breast of my wife. our is 2months old. i got half the share of milk of my son. i love my wife's milk

[Paddy]

I want to know how many men have tasted their own semen ? How does it taste ? How does one have it ?

[web designer]

yes, thank you for info

[Gregg]

Since we had our first baby, I always wanted to taste my wife's milk, but I was scared she might not allow me. One day when the baby was sleeping and her breasts were oozing with milk, I suckled them and she let me suckle to my heart's delight. It is very delicious and I got hooked on to the taste. It gives me an instant hard on too and we end up in terrific love making. So I'd definitely recommend guys to try drinking their wife's milk. It's a great experience.

[Marybeth]

I encouraged my husband to breastfeed in an effort to increase my supply without having to hook up the pump.

With his help, I went from 12ozs a day to 22 ozs. The baby was happier, hubby was very happy, and I enjoyed the feeling as they nursed.

Just when I thought it was time to wean our son, my hubby told me to keep producing. We had begun to resume some couples play and one of the men asked him to keep me flowing, then he wife asked too.

My son went on with a reduced feeding schedule as others took up some of the feeding time. A slow week still produces about 100 ozs, a more active week can double that. I enjoy being more productive due to the time it then takes to be drained - it feels heavenly to be fed from, and the more intimate sex is remarkable.