But at least they'll be able to share diapers

By now, I'm sure most of you have heard about the 57 year-old woman from NYC who just gave birth to twins, making her the oldest American woman in history to do so. As Conan O'Brian said, "the mother and twins are doing fine. However, the doctor is still recovering from nausea."

I'm surprised more people in the parenting blogosphere haven't been talking about this. Am I the only one who finds this a little creepy and ethically ambiguous? And don't get me wrong. I'm not claiming a double standard just because it was a woman. I have the same reservations about Tony Randall (who had a child at the age of 79), Warren Beatty (63) and Saul Bellow (84). Of course, those guys only agreed to be elderly parents because their 25 year-old wives demanded it.

Ultimately, the libertarian in me says that it was the woman's own personal decision. Who are we to pass judgement? Being a firm believer in individual rights, I can only say "more power to her." But in a way, it seems sort of selfish of her. Even the woman's own doctor said that just because you CAN have kids at such an advanced age doesn't necessarily mean you SHOULD. After all, by the time her kids graduate college, she's going to be 80 years old! But who knows? Maybe what she lacks in energy, she'll make up for in wisdom.

I do feel badly for the kids though. Can you imagine the ribbing these kids are going to take when they get to school?

"Hey Johnny. Does your mom have incontinence or is she just happy to see me?"
"Man. Yo mama's so old, her social security number is 1"
"Hey Johnny, is it true your mom farts dust?"

Ok...somebody stop me!

But again, I'm not going to pass judgement. I just have these images in my head of running around as a little kid and having my mom chase me for hours. Or playing soccer in the backyard with my dad. I sincerely wish her the best of luck. She's going to need it. Anyway, she seems more than capable of loving and caring for her child. She's got an army of nannies to help her out so I'm sure she'll be just fine. In fact, in many regards, I'd rather see an older woman caring for her newborn children than a young teenager.

Personally, I can't picture dealing with a newborn baby when I'm 57 years old. At that age, I have visions of being retired from the rat race. I picture myself sitting on a porch with the BossLady, sipping lemonade while gazing at our trout-filled stream and listening to the pattering of our horses. Of course, the reality is that I'll probably be working at McDonalds or greeting people at Wal-Mart ("Whazzup! Welcome to the Shizzy"). But regardless of the reality, the idea of changing diapers and chasing around twins when I'm 57 is a little frightening!

Maybe it does take a village...

Comments

[JenL]

Dead on exactly how I feel.

Plus...what's the fun of parenting if you can't eventually look forward to seeing your kids struggle with the "I hope you have a child just like you!!" curse?

Love your blog, keep it up!

I remember how I felt for the first couple of days after I had both of my kids...it was hard enough to deal with at the rip old age of 20 and 23...I can't imagine trying to recover AND take care of TWO newborns at the age of 57. There's a reason that a woman's body natrually stops allowing her to get pregnant at a certain point. This is one instance where infertility specialists aren't such a good thing.

[Misti]

I dunno, as someone who had an 'oops' after I was already a grandma, I guess I think a little differently about this.

Yes, having a child this late in life is unusual these days. Certainly it's extremely unusual to have a child at 57 and always has been.

But 50 isn't as old today as it once was, and lots of older women have always had babies. Granted, they were usually #12 or 13 not numbers one and two, but we've always ahd older mothers. Both of my grandmothers had very late life babies, and a friend of the family was born to a Dad who was his mothers oldest child of four -- he was born in 1919 when she was 45.

Yes, she's going to be OLD when her babies graduate from high school. But if her experience of having a late life baby is anything like mine has been, she'll be a far better Mamma now than she was at 20 and her children will have a different set of advanatges than the kids of a 20 year old, but there will be advanatges.

I am able to chase Jack around for hours, and now I have the patience to do so without getting frustrated with having to put off what I'd like to be doing. I am all finished growing up. Quite simply, when I had my first kids in my 20s, I wasn't. I was an adult, yes. And I did what was best for my kids to the best of my ability -- but I sometimes did it a little grudgingly, wondering when there would be time for me. These days, with Jack, I am able to completely engage in his world for far longer at a time, and with far greater joy. I am also able to juggle having a baby and having a life with far more grace than I was able to manage at 20.

But I have to admit that I may not live to see Jack's children. He will have to cope far earlier with losing his parents. Yeah, there are disadvantages.

Just wanted to point out that it's not all disadvantages. ;)

(Oh, and did you know that for women who have a baby after age 40, the odds of living to be over 100 increase by 90%? I'll have to go find out where I read that when I was pregnant. I thought it was funny.)

[Glen]

I'm a father of twins (read my LJ for details) and I can't comprehend taking care of twins at that age. Leave alone a woman pregnant with them. At 31 my wife had a hellish time of the pregnancy, and at 57 I have to wonder how that woman even lived through it.

[Big Mark webdesign]

Good job, thanks