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September 23, 2004


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MetroDad, thank you! Your tirade should be posted in every subway station across America.
Another heckle for you:
Next time motion towards the pregnant woman and ask the hecklee: "What would Satan Do?"

Rachel Ann

What you are talking about has nothing to do with chilvary and everything to do with good behaviour; male or female if a pregnant woman gets onto the bus/train and one is neither pregnant, nor elderly, or unable to stand, then one gets up. One gets up for the person who is elderly, that is called respect, one gets up for someone who is overburdened with packages, or who looks ill and needs a seat. And one says thank you, because that is proper. So many other things are like that; saying thank you to the check-out clerk, even if s/he wasn't the speediest, and to the baggers, hold the door open for the person behind you etc. etc.

Just good behaviour. At least that is how I look at it.


When I was pregnant, I always found that women were more courteous (gave up a subway seat, held a door, etc.) than men. Question: Did you give up your seat to pregnant women before your wife was pregnant and you became "aware"? Just curious!


Yep...Karen. Mom was a stickler for manners. Giving up a seat for others, saying thank you, holding doors open for women, walking curbside when escorting a lady on the sidewalk, saying "bless you" after a sneeze, holding car doors open, picking up dropped items for people...the list goes on and on and on!

Unfortunately, she didn't know at the time that manners in America were dying a slow death.

And yes...I've also noticed that women are the more courteous ones.


It isn't just NY, and it isn't just the subway.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and emjoyed a fortifying 20 minute stand at a restauant in NC last night. I might have goen on standing forever, but I got a bit exasperated.
I turned to the person next to me and said (quite loudly), "Look at all these healthy young people sitting on these comfortable cushioned chairs. It sure would be nice if one of them would let me sit down before my ankles collapse and I go into labor."
A twenty-something girl offered her seat.
everyone else just stared.

Mrs. Flinger

Hi, I came from Solopsist and by god, I don't think I've ever seen a post that should get an award more than this one. Amen, Mr. Metro Dad. You fucking rock.


Hmm . . . interestingly, if an old person or handicapped person got on a train/bus, I wouldn't have a problem freely giving up my seat. But with a pregnant woman . . . well unless she asked me outright for my seat I wouldn't give it up! And I don't care how many side comments she made or how insulting she got, I STILL wouldn't give it up (that would probably just make me want to stay in my seat longer just out of spite!). Pregnancy is not a disability. And hey if she wasn't prepared for the consequences that comes along with pregnancy - weight gain, swollen ankles, aches here and there - then she shouldn't have gotten herself in that condition. I am so sick and tired of pregnant women thinking they have a right to someone's seat just because they are pregnant. Gimme a break and go cry on someone else's shoulder about this supposed injustice.


The same in London underground. People who often give up seats are women in their late 30s and 40s, and occasionally men within this age group. Young people no chance. But then, I knew it before I got pregnant. I used to give up seats (to small children too but this doesn't seem to be normal other than in Japan?)and realized that I am the only one!!!


As much as I agree with you, there is a gray area -- I got completely bitched out by a guy one time for not giving up my seat for his pregnant girlfriend, but I seriously HAD NO IDEA she was pregnant. She was not someone who was obviously showing, and she was wearing one of those tanks that fits tight at the top then flows out. I've given up my seat before -- to elderly people, to pregnant women, to little kids -- and I would have given it up if I'd known. What are you supposed to do in this situation? Lord knows I can't go around asking every woman on the 6 train if the pooch around her midsection is cause for me to give up my seat.

See, as much as I sympathize with you wanting to scream at and taunt those guys who don't give up there seats, I do think it's important to remember that not everyone is paying attention to you, or aware of what your situation is. If after politely asking for a seat the guy says no, then tell the asshole what's what.

Just my 2 cents...

Louise in NYC

Just wanted to say thanks. As a hugely pregnant woman, I was grateful to everyone who gave me their seat during last week's heat wave. Have you ever noticed it that it's the elderly who give up their seats for pregnant women? Not young people!


Eh, thanks but no thanks. I don't want to encourage people to breed.


Sai, I hope someone punches your mother in the goddam face for raising a jerk (who's too chickenshit to leave an email address) like you.

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