Guys...how would you feel if you had an enormous pot belly, swollen joints, severe back pain, surging hormones, sinus headaches, hermorrhoids, bloody nasal passages, engorged tits, intense perspiration and an overriding need to constantly pee? all while someone was kicking the living shit out of your ribs? And how would you feel if you knew that the only thing that was going to relieve all that pain and discomfort was shitting a basketball out your ass?
I only ask these things because, although I know that chivalry is dead, I'm still utterly amazed when MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T GIVE UP SEATS ON THE SUBWAY FOR PREGNANT WOMEN!!!
BossLady and I went to see her gyno this morning. When we got on the subway, an elderly man got up and offered my pregnant wife his seat. He was very courteous and we thanked him for his kindness. But coming back downtown later, I got onto a crowded train and saw 2 VERY pregnant women standing while a bunch of seated, healthy, red-blooded American men just pretended not to see them. Now if I'm with BossLady and this happens, I go nuts. I'll start taunting anyone seated nearby, saying "Wow. Chivalry really is dead" or "What would your mama say?" And once in a while, I'll even say "Bitch! get the fuck up and give my pregnant wife your fucking seat before I stab this goddamn pencil through your fucking neck!" (Needless to say, my comments are directly correlated to the size of the offender.)
Anyway, BossLady doesn't like me to make these kinds of comments so I try to refrain from doing so. But today on the way to work, BossLady wasn't with me so the leash was off. I was free to heckle and embarass people to my heart's content, which of course I did. But you know what? It worked. People offered the pregnant women their seats. And maybe next time, those rude motherfuckers will think twice the next time they see a pregnant woman on the subway. (On a side note, heckling strangers is really fun. Not as fun as heckling the L.A. Dodgers but pretty damn close. Try it on your next commute.)
But really...what the fuck is wrong with you dumb-ass, ignorant, raised-by-babboons, no manners-having, pseudo-hipsters, wanna-be-rappers, pinstripe-suit Gordon Gekko poseurs, and frat-boy losers? Unless you're over 75, have a terminal disease, or are on crutches...do the right thing, Mookie! Be a gentleman. Offer a pregnant woman your seat. It's the least you can do. You really should be asking her whether she could use some water, a foot rub or a back massage. Ok..you don't have to do all that. Just get up and offer her your seat. I don't care how cool you are, how much money you make, or how much you've suffered at work. JUST GET UP!
Because although chivalry in NY may be dying, you don't have to help load the bullets.
By the way, ladies...if someone offers you their seat, be sure to thank them. Because although I'll excuse some of you for being in extreme pain and discomfort, I know some of you are just stuck-up bitches who are going to be back at the trading desk 14 days after you give birth. And some others of you are deluded by a false sense of victimization so you feel entitled to anything that comes your way. Really, ladies...I don't care what your issues are. I'll still give up my seat for you. But a little thank you goes a long way.
MetroDad, thank you! Your tirade should be posted in every subway station across America.
Another heckle for you:
Next time motion towards the pregnant woman and ask the hecklee: "What would Satan Do?"
Posted by: fatboykin | September 23, 2004 at 07:58 PM
What you are talking about has nothing to do with chilvary and everything to do with good behaviour; male or female if a pregnant woman gets onto the bus/train and one is neither pregnant, nor elderly, or unable to stand, then one gets up. One gets up for the person who is elderly, that is called respect, one gets up for someone who is overburdened with packages, or who looks ill and needs a seat. And one says thank you, because that is proper. So many other things are like that; saying thank you to the check-out clerk, even if s/he wasn't the speediest, and to the baggers, hold the door open for the person behind you etc. etc.
Just good behaviour. At least that is how I look at it.
Posted by: Rachel Ann | September 28, 2004 at 04:04 PM
When I was pregnant, I always found that women were more courteous (gave up a subway seat, held a door, etc.) than men. Question: Did you give up your seat to pregnant women before your wife was pregnant and you became "aware"? Just curious!
Posted by: Karen | September 28, 2004 at 10:19 PM
Yep...Karen. Mom was a stickler for manners. Giving up a seat for others, saying thank you, holding doors open for women, walking curbside when escorting a lady on the sidewalk, saying "bless you" after a sneeze, holding car doors open, picking up dropped items for people...the list goes on and on and on!
Unfortunately, she didn't know at the time that manners in America were dying a slow death.
And yes...I've also noticed that women are the more courteous ones.
Posted by: MetroDad | September 28, 2004 at 11:29 PM
It isn't just NY, and it isn't just the subway.
I'm 36 weeks pregnant and emjoyed a fortifying 20 minute stand at a restauant in NC last night. I might have goen on standing forever, but I got a bit exasperated.
I turned to the person next to me and said (quite loudly), "Look at all these healthy young people sitting on these comfortable cushioned chairs. It sure would be nice if one of them would let me sit down before my ankles collapse and I go into labor."
A twenty-something girl offered her seat.
everyone else just stared.
Posted by: Rissa | January 29, 2005 at 10:44 AM
Hi, I came from Solopsist and by god, I don't think I've ever seen a post that should get an award more than this one. Amen, Mr. Metro Dad. You fucking rock.
Posted by: Mrs. Flinger | September 28, 2005 at 02:18 PM
Hmm . . . interestingly, if an old person or handicapped person got on a train/bus, I wouldn't have a problem freely giving up my seat. But with a pregnant woman . . . well unless she asked me outright for my seat I wouldn't give it up! And I don't care how many side comments she made or how insulting she got, I STILL wouldn't give it up (that would probably just make me want to stay in my seat longer just out of spite!). Pregnancy is not a disability. And hey if she wasn't prepared for the consequences that comes along with pregnancy - weight gain, swollen ankles, aches here and there - then she shouldn't have gotten herself in that condition. I am so sick and tired of pregnant women thinking they have a right to someone's seat just because they are pregnant. Gimme a break and go cry on someone else's shoulder about this supposed injustice.
Posted by: Sai | January 23, 2006 at 06:31 AM
The same in London underground. People who often give up seats are women in their late 30s and 40s, and occasionally men within this age group. Young people no chance. But then, I knew it before I got pregnant. I used to give up seats (to small children too but this doesn't seem to be normal other than in Japan?)and realized that I am the only one!!!
Posted by: Ki | July 12, 2006 at 04:33 AM
As much as I agree with you, there is a gray area -- I got completely bitched out by a guy one time for not giving up my seat for his pregnant girlfriend, but I seriously HAD NO IDEA she was pregnant. She was not someone who was obviously showing, and she was wearing one of those tanks that fits tight at the top then flows out. I've given up my seat before -- to elderly people, to pregnant women, to little kids -- and I would have given it up if I'd known. What are you supposed to do in this situation? Lord knows I can't go around asking every woman on the 6 train if the pooch around her midsection is cause for me to give up my seat.
See, as much as I sympathize with you wanting to scream at and taunt those guys who don't give up there seats, I do think it's important to remember that not everyone is paying attention to you, or aware of what your situation is. If after politely asking for a seat the guy says no, then tell the asshole what's what.
Just my 2 cents...
Posted by: anonymous | August 09, 2006 at 12:05 PM
Just wanted to say thanks. As a hugely pregnant woman, I was grateful to everyone who gave me their seat during last week's heat wave. Have you ever noticed it that it's the elderly who give up their seats for pregnant women? Not young people!
Posted by: Louise in NYC | August 09, 2006 at 12:33 PM
Eh, thanks but no thanks. I don't want to encourage people to breed.
Posted by: Eric | August 09, 2006 at 01:40 PM
Sai, I hope someone punches your mother in the goddam face for raising a jerk (who's too chickenshit to leave an email address) like you.
Posted by: bootsy | August 09, 2006 at 02:23 PM